Spiders: Lesbian Adventure Club, #9
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About this ebook
Welcome to HollyWould! A weekend doing only what Holly would do, and a cop willing to arrest those who dare do otherwise... How could that not make anyone tremble with fear? Unless...
Lesbian Adventure Club, Book 9
Approximate word count: 32,000
Read more from Rosalyn Wraight
Detective Laura McCallister Lesbian Mystery
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Titles in the series (28)
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Spiders - Rosalyn Wraight
Chapter 1
What the hell?
Oh, for Christ’s sake!
Holy shit! Holy frickin’ shit!
Claudia shoved the car into park, and we just stared at it.
It was a Lesbian Adventure Club weekend. Those were generally good things, splendid things, but when our hostesses were none other than Holly and Laura, apprehension tended to overwhelm the usual excitement. Sitting in front of their house on a subzero January morning, I realized not one iota of that apprehension had been wasted. Oh, hell no.
With my jaw hanging, I looked to Claudia and found her in the same state of shock. My head turned back to the front of their house just to see it once more. I figured that maybe if I blinked it would not be there upon the eyelid grand opening. Three times, I tried. Three times, I failed.
Maybe it’s not as bad as it seems,
Claudia offered.
Maybe it’s exactly as bad as it seems,
I countered.
You know that big-ass hill in big-ass California with those big-ass letters? Well, remove the big-ass hill, make everything white with snow, and have those big-ass letters spell HollyWould.
Seriously, big-ass letters in front of Evil Dick and Evil-er Chick’s house spelled HollyWould.
We were about to enter frickin’ HollyWould!
Jesus, what would Holly do? My brain ran rampant with a bazillion things that Holly would do. The list of the things that I would/could do that Holly would do most likely could have fit on a matchbook, owned by an itty-bitty worker ant who smoked too much. Holly lacked inhibitions; I had the word tattooed on my ass, next to chickenshit
and big talker.
Holy frickin’ shit!
We’re overreacting,
Claudia reasoned. Maybe it’s something quite simple. ... Movies, maybe. Maybe it’s a movie theme. But, whatever it is and no matter what happens, I love you. We stick together.
I nodded, but it lacked confidence.
At her insistence and with the reminder that we were already late, we exited our car and fearfully slunk to the front step. Instantly, the door whipped open, and there stood Laura. She did not—no way in hell—lack confidence. She possessed an excess; it oozed all over, and she still had more. It animated her smirk; it gave sinisterness to her mighty guffaw.
Welcome to HollyWould!
she bellowed. Please, please come in.
Said the spider to the frickin’ fly. Here, let me take your jackets, and then you can go get changed.
Changed?
Changed into what?
Your weekend apparel,
she clarified. She slapped a garment onto each of our stomachs. Ouch! "You’ll be wearing these fashion statements all weekend. And this time everyone will keep her pants on, unless, of course, we tell you otherwise."
Again, shock overtook us. We stared at what we held: orange frickin’ jumpsuits! Where it should have read, Ledder County Jail,
yep, you guessed it: HollyWould.
I’ll be your warden, matron, bull, jailer, keeper, screw—whatever your synonym roll prefers to call it.
She pointed to the hall and said, Grab a room and get changed. Separate rooms! No touchy-feely this time.
Like dazed yet indignant idiots, we complied, handing off jackets and beginning the perp walk. But Holly suddenly appeared in our path, hugging and kissing the both of us. And that was something Holly would do: be happy to see us, give us an overdose of affection—no matter what the screw said or did. I took a much needed dose, and then Claudia and I continued down the hall.
I whisper-yelled, Is that what they’re doing, honey? Paying us back for what they missed out on last time?
She merely shrugged. Then she stopped in front of the spare bedroom, grabbed the doorknob, and said, This is our room, honey. Remember? Wanna fool around?
Jesus, what would Kate do? Always,
I answered and clutched her hand.
Sutter! Kitterman! You’re two seconds from house arrest!
I toot sweet let go of Claudia’s hand and made a dash into the room across the hall.
What the hell had we gotten into this time? We had been there a total of three minutes, and already we neared house arrest. Visions of cavity searches gave me the heebie-jeebies. I shook my head briskly, stripped to don the far-too-short orange jumpsuit, and hurried to find my main squeeze and the other inmates. Perhaps there was strength in numbers ... or at least the potential to riot. Jesus!
I met up with Claudia in the hall, and hand-in-hand, we hurried to the living room that teemed with fidgety orange bodies. No one seemed happy or even relaxed. Rolling eyes and grimaces were exchanged like money and toiletries in a prison commissary.
Ginny’s arms crossed tightly over her chest. Just let her try and lock me up,
she forewarned.
What the hell are they up to anyway?
Claudia asked, but no one could provide an answer to that little mystery.
Holly called, Come on, you guys. Let’s have breakfast before we get started. I’ll pour coffee. Help yourselves to everything.
Coffee! Donuts! Strawberries! Bagels! Bacon! Cookies! Mushroom omelets! Etceteras! Etceteras! I had never heard a good thing about jail food, but this spread proved vastly different. I could’ve lived quite contentedly on this bread and water, and I was sure three squares meant pats of cream cheese I slathered on a sesame bagel. I ate and slugged as if I hadn’t had nourishment in a week.
We were smiling, at least. It felt good. It felt normal. Maybe we had overreacted.
Sated, I had just happily rubbed my overfilled belly when Claudia slapped a copy of the Tribune on the island. My eyes nearly popped out of my head like smoldering toast from a small kitchen appliance.
"Who the hell reads the Tribune? Why isn’t this the Journal? I write for the Journal not the Tribune! Who is the traitor?"
That’s not what I wanted to show you,
she said, tempering my tantrum. She stabbed the paper a hundred times.
I looked, and my smoldering-toast eyes ungracefully landed on the green granite. ‘Road Swill files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.’
Holy frickin’ shit! What the hell would I do without the second love of my life? We have to do something, honey! Let’s go buy a lot of coffee.
Sorry, honey. No can do. Our tanker is in the shop.
"Maybe we could borrow Denny’s pickup—seventeen times. We have to do something! ... Why would somebody who loves me read the Tribune?" But, I’d have to work on that brainteaser at a later date...
The Lesbian Adventure Club cattle call came, and we were herded into the living room.
Our hostesses stood before us, and Holly’s elbows jutted out from her hips. After looking at each individual, she said, Last time you were at our house for a meeting, you were very bad girls.
She judgmentally cleared her throat and looked at each of us again. We all know nobody kept their pants on except Laura and me, but you did something much, much worse, chickies. You didn’t trust us. You didn’t follow the rules. We were in charge, and you were supposed to respect that. But you didn’t! No, you kidnapped my babe of a cop. You tried to take over!
Um... Okay, yeah, we did. Even then, I knew it was wrong not to go along with whatever they had planned, but something was strange that weekend. No, everything was strange that weekend. But yeah, even in the midst of blistering shame, I knew I’d do the very same again if Claudia proved just as amorous as she had that weekend. Did that make me a bad DWD or just a DWD? Shit!
Laura smugly advised, This time, we have laws and penalties. Any violations, any non-compliance will result in house arrest.
Janice dared a laugh. I should be afraid to ask. What does house arrest mean?
We all nodded in support of her very brave question.
Solitary confinement,
Laura replied. She evilly laughed and added, With me.
"With you?"
It’s not very solitary if it’s with you.
No kidding.
And like how does this qualify as adventure and not misadventure?
If you follow the rules and participate in the activities, it will be fun. Break the rules, it’s a misadventure of your own making.
It will be fun, chickies! We’ll only be doing things I would do. How could that not be fun?
She smiled in a way that made it appear as though she was certain we all wanted to walk in her platform shoes.
Shit, I could trip and fall off flats. Shit, I had tripped and fallen off flats! This was not good.
And exactly how do we win?
Yeah, how do we win this thing?
Yeah, how do we get the big-boobed bimbo babe?
Laura’s evil smile shone blackly. It’s HollyWould; therefore, Holly would decide that. If Holly would give her to you, she’s yours. You win. Simple as that.
All eyes mandatorily shot to Holly.
Laura gravely said, But we need to have a little discussion about the bimbo babe.
All eyes mandatorily shot to the screw.
It seems one of you has been overzealous in your fondling of her.
All eyes mandatorily shot to each other.
What the hell does that mean?
One of you has been flicking her too hard.
"What?"
"What?"
I don’t flick her that hard!
I don’t either.
I think I only flicked her once, but I never fondled her. I don’t think.
"You