Trusting the Doctor: Hot & Heavy in Paradise, #19

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Scarlet

A mob of curious toddlers circled my feet as I gave Annabel, Annie for short, a long slobbery kiss on her cheek. She giggled and pulled back but let me hug her one last time before I set her down with her playmates. I would spend the next ten hours in the emergency room while Annie would have the time of her life eating snacks and playing in the Paradise General hospital daycare — a wonderful center, which cost almost one-third of my paycheck. But the convenience and location made it worth it.

Emily, one of the daycare assistants, stepped over the top of a tantrum-throwing four-year-old and made her way to me by the door. She’s adjusting to the new routine.

Yeah, we’re both getting into a routine. Annie had been attending the daycare center for the last three months. Things had been crazy in between, but it finally seemed as if our lives were calming. She enjoys it here.

We love having her, Emily said. It sounded like she’d been genuine instead of just saying the words because she liked her paycheck. She loved all the children she cared for at the center. How are you doing?

I hesitated, considering my answer, as she placed a hand on my shoulder. Good. A smile broke out when I realized I’d uttered the word a million times the last few weeks, but it was the first time I meant it.

Annie wasn’t the only one adjusting to her new routine. It was also the first time a well-meaning person had asked me how I was doing, and I didn’t choke up while I answered.

Progress.

I always dreamed of working in the hospital as a serious take-charge nurse, and that’s where life had led me. Annabel was the part I hadn’t expected, but every morning I woke up with her cute baby girl smiles was continued proof the decisions I made surrounding her had been the right ones. If it made me a single parent for the rest of my life, she would be worth it. I’d be strong for her even if the house of cards I called life fell down around us.

Emily patted me on the shoulder once more and then took a step back, ready to head into the cluster of children. I lost my sister at twenty and it took me years to get over it. Death affects everyone in different ways. Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to get better right away. It’s none of their business.

Damn her, a tear formed in my left eye, and I blinked to stop it from falling. Thanks.

If you want someone to talk with, I’m always here.

I might take you up on that, I lied with a nod.

Emily left to take care of her daycare center full of children. I turned on a heel and marched back to the nurses’ lounge on the same floor. I stepped into the emergency room, and knowing I had to focus on patients was one of the few things that kept me from becoming a blubbering mess. It seemed as if I’d spent a few weeks constantly on the verge of tears. Any second there’d be waterworks.

But the last week or so I felt better—stronger and ready to tackle the world again. Then as soon as I realized I’d had a moment of happiness, the guilt showed its ugly head. I had the chance to get up and spend time with Annie every morning before we came to work, but I’d never get to see my roommate and best friend again. I got to go on living life, but hers was over in a flash.

There would be no more Netflix Friday night movie binges for us. Jessica had been coming home from working an overnight shift in one of the walk-in clinics in Paradise when a car crossed the median and hit her head-on without even an attempt at braking. That drive stole so much more than my best friend in the world. We’d had hope as she stayed in the intensive care unit at this very hospital, held together by machines and stitches.

Three weeks ago, hope was stolen from us when her life slipped away. I’d been certain the funeral would bring closure to the situation, but it seemed only time would work.

In a way, I guess it all came down to that saying I used to consider bullshit. The time heals all wounds crap people post on Facebook when they’re being motivational or sentimental. I hated when people smarter than me were proven right. Time hadn’t healed all my wounds, not fully, but it had made it so moving on with life sounded at least slightly possible.

I swung my purse in the small locker with my last name, Anderson, written on it with a white label, denoting this space as mine. I closed the door, not worried about locking it. There was nothing good in there for anyone to steal, anyway. My purse used to carry small bottles of liquor, cash, and condoms, but now it held a packet of baby crackers, wipes, and a spare diaper, just in case.

My phone dinged with a text message before I slipped it in my pocket to leave the locker room.

TENLEY: Where are you?

I swiped out a quick reply before getting on the elevator.

SCARLET: On the first floor headed up now.

I still had seven minutes before our Monday morning meeting started — plenty of time to make it to the third floor.

Tenley’s response came as I stepped off the elevator.

TENLEY: The new director is hot.

My steps slowed as I searched my gif keyboard for the appropriate image to display my disgust. Tenley had her own issues, and if she considered the doctor hot, she also needed to get laid. Tenley hated doctors after a hospital doctor, Grant, burned her months ago. She vowed she’d never date another one.

Our new fearless leader had been granted a serious promotion from New York. Today’s meeting would be my first chance to meet him. Life had been too