Revenge of the Crafty Corpse: An Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery, #3

About Revenge of the Crafty Corpse

An Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery

by Lois Winston

Anastasia Pollack’s dead louse of a spouse has left her with more bills than you can shake a crochet hook at, and teaching craft classes at her mother-in-law’s assisted living center seems like a harmless way to supplement her meager income. But when Lyndella Wegner—a 98-year-old know-it-all with a penchant for ruffles and lace—turns up dead, Anastasia’s cantankerous mother-in-law becomes the prime suspect in her murder. Upon discovering that Lyndella’s scandalous craft projects—and her scandalous behavior—made her plenty of enemies, Anastasia sets out to find the real killer before her mother-in-law ends up behind bars.

Acclaim for the Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries

Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun

Crafty cozies don’t get any better than this hilarious confection...Anastasia is as deadpan droll as Tina Fey’s Liz Lemon, and readers can’t help cheering as she copes with caring for a host of colorful characters. – Publishers Weekly (starred review)

Winston has hit a homerun with this hilarious, laugh-until-your-sides-hurt tale. Oddball characters, uproariously funny situations, and a heroine with a strong sense of irony will delight fans of Janet Evanovich, Jess Lourey, and Kathleen Bacus. May this be the first of many in Winston’s Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series. – Booklist (starred review)

A comic tour de force...Lovers of funny mysteries, outrageous puns, self-deprecating humor, and light romance will all find something here. – ForeWord Magazine (Book-of-the-Year nominee)

North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum. Funny, gutsy, and determined, Anastasia has a bright future in the planned series. – Kirkus Reviews

...a delightful romp through the halls of who-done-it. – The Star-Ledger

Make way for Lois Winston’s promising new series...I’ll be eagerly awaiting the next installment in this thoroughly delightful series. – Mystery Scene Magazine

...once you read the first few pages of Lois Winston’s first-in-series whodunit, you’re hooked for the duration... – Bookpage

...madcap but tough-as-nails, no holds barred plot and main character...a step above the usual crafty cozy. – The Mystery Reader

...Anastasia is, above all, a JERSEY girl..., and never, ever mess with one of them. I can’t wait ‘til the next book in this series... – Suspense Magazine

Anastasia is as crafty as Martha Stewart, as feisty as Stephanie Plum, and as resourceful as Kinsey Millhone. – Mary Kennedy, author of the Talk Radio Mysteries

"Fans of Stephanie Plum will love Lois Winston’s cast of quirky, laughable, and loveable characters. Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun is clever and thoroughly entertaining—a must read!" – Brenda Novak, New York Times bestselling author

What a treat—I can’t stop laughing! Witty, wise, and delightfully clever, Anastasia is going to be your new best friend. Her mysterious adventures are irresistible—you’ll be glued to the page! – Hank Phillippi Ryan, Agatha, Anthony, and Macavity award-winning author

You think you’ve got trouble? Say hello to Anastasia Pollack, who also happens to be queen of the one-liners. Funny, funny, funny—this is a series you don’t want to miss! – Kasey Michaels, USA Today bestselling author

Death by Killer Mop Doll

Anastasia is a crafting Stephanie Plum, surrounded by characters sure to bring chuckles as she careens through the narrative, crossing paths with the detectives assigned to the case and snooping around to solve it. – Booklist

Several crafts projects, oodles of laughs and an older, more centered version of Stephanie Plum. – Kirkus Reviews

In Winston’s droll second cozy featuring crafts magazine editor Anastasia Pollack...readers who relish the offbeat will be rewarded. – Publishers Weekly

"...a 30 Rock vibe...Winston turns out another lighthearted amateur sleuth investigation. Laden with one-liners, Anastasia’s second outing (after Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun) points to another successful series in the works." – Library Journal

Winston...plays for plenty of laughs...while letting Anastasia shine as a risk-taking investigator who doesn’t always know when to quit. – Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine

Revenge of the Crafty Corpse

Winston peppers the twisty and slightly edgy plot with humor and plenty of craft patterns. Fans of craft mysteries will like this, of course, but so will those who enjoy the smart and snarky humor of Janet Evanovich, Laura Levine, and Laura DeSilverio. – Booklist

Winston’s entertaining third cozy plunges Anastasia into a surprisingly fraught stew of jealousy, greed, and sex... and a Sopranos-worthy lineup of eccentric character... – Publishers Weekly

Winston provides a long-suffering heroine, amusing characters, a...good mystery and a series of crafting projects featuring cloth yo-yos. – Kirkus Reviews

A fun addition to a series that keeps getting stronger. – Romantic Times Magazine

"Chuckles begin on page one and the steady humor sustains a comedic crafts cozy, the third (after Death by Killer Mop Doll)... Recommend for Chris Grabenstein (John Ceepak series) and Jess Lourey readers." – Library Journal

You'll be both surprised and entertained by this terrific mystery. I can't wait to see what happens in the Pollack household next. – Suspense Magazine

The book has what a mystery should...It moves along at a good pace...Like all good sleuths, Anastasia pieces together what others don’t...The book has a fun twist...and it’s clear that Anastasia, the everyday woman who loves crafts and desserts, and has a complete hottie in pursuit, will return to solve another murder and offer more crafts tips... – Star-Ledger

Decoupage Can Be Deadly

"Decoupage Can Be Deadly is the fourth in the Anastasia Pollock Crafting Mysteries by Lois Winston. And it’s the best one yet. More, please!" – Suspense Magazine

What a great cozy mystery series. One of the reasons this series stands out for me as a great one is the absolutely great cast of characters. Every single character in these books is awesomely quirky and downright hilarious. This series is a true laugh out loud read! – Books Are Life–Vita Libri

This is one of these series that no matter what, I’m going to be laughing my way through a comedy of errors as our reluctant heroine sets a course of action to find a killer while contending with her eccentrically dysfunctional family. This adventure grabs you immediately delivering a fast-paced and action-filled drama that doesn’t let up from the first page to the surprising conclusion. – Dru’s Book Musings

Lois Winston’s reluctant amateur sleuth Anastasia Pollack is back in another wild romp. – The Book Breeze

A Stitch to Die For

"A Stitch to Die For is the fifth in the Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries by Lois Winston. If you’re a reader who enjoys a well-plotted mystery and loves to laugh, don’t miss this one!" – Suspense Magazine

Scrapbook of Murder

This is one of the best books in this delightfully entertaining whodunit and I hope there are more stories in the future. – Dru’s Book Musings

"Scrapbook of Murder is a perfect example of what mysteries are all about—deft plotting, believable characters, well-written dialogue, and a satisfying, logical ending. I loved it!" – Suspense Magazine

"I read an amazing book recently, y’all — Scrapbook of Murder by Lois Winston, #6 in the Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries. All six novels and three novellas in the series are Five Star reads." – Jane Reads

Well written, with interesting characters. – Laura’s Interests

…a quick read, with humour, a good mystery and very interesting characters! – Verietats

Drop Dead Ornaments

I always forget how much I love this series until I read the next one and I fall in love all over again... – Dru’s Book Musings

"Drop Dead Ornaments is a delightful addition to the Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series. More, please!" – Suspense Magazine

"I love protagonist Anastasia Pollack. She’s witty and funny, and she can be sarcastic at times…A great whodunit, with riotous twists and turns, Drop Dead Ornaments was a fast, exciting read that really kept me on my toes." – Lisa Ks Book reviews

"Drop Dead Ornaments is such a fantastic book…I adore Anastasia! She's clever, likable, fun to read about, and easy to root for." – Jane Reads

"…readers will be laughing continually at the antics of Anastasia and clan in Drop Dead Ornaments." – The Avid Reader

I love this series! Not only is Anastasia a ‘crime magnet,’ she is hilarious and snarky, a delight to read about and a dedicated friend. – Mallory Heart’s Cozies

It is always a nice surprise when something I am reading has a tie in to actual news or events that are happening in the present moment. I don't want to spoil a major plot secret, but the timing could not have been better…Be prepared for a dysfunctional cast of quirky characters. – Laura’s Interests

This is a Tour de Force of a Murder/Mystery. – A Wytch’s Book Review

A series worth checking out. – The Ninja Librarian

I flew through this book. Winston knows how to make a reader turn the page. It’s more than a puzzle to solve—I was rooting for people I cared about. Anastasia Pollack is easy to like, a good mother, a good friend, and in a healthy romantic relationship, the kind of person you’d want on your side in a difficult situation. – Indies Who Publish Everywhere

"Lois Winston’s cozy craft mystery Drop Dead Ornaments is an enjoyable…roller-coaster ride, with secrets and clues tugging the reader this way and that, and gentle climbs and drops of suspense and revelation to keep them reading." – Here’s How It Happened

Anastasia is a take-charge woman with a heart for her family–even her ex-family members who don’t (in my opinion) deserve her kindness… What I like best about Anastasia is how she balances her quest for justice with the needs and fears of her family… I can’t wait to read more of her adventures and the progress of her relationship with her family and her boyfriend. – The Self-Rescue Princess

…a light-hearted cozy mystery with lots of energy and definitely lots of action and interaction between characters. – Curling Up by the Fire

I thought the plot was well thought out and the story flowed well. There were many twists and turns…and I enjoyed all the quirky characters. I was totally baffled as to who the killer was and was left guessing to the very end. – Melina’s Book Blog

(Anastasia’s) wit and sarcasm lend a bit of humor to this cozy, and the story kept me intrigued right up to the end. – The Books the Thing

Handmade Ho-Ho Homicide

"Handmade Ho-Ho Homicide is a laugh-out-loud, well plotted mystery, from a real pro! A ho-ho hoot!" – Suspense Magazine

"Merry Crises! Lois Winston has brought back Anastasia’s delightful first-person narrative of family, friends, dysfunction, and murder, and made it again very entertaining! Anastasia’s clever quips, fun stories, and well-deserved digs kept me smiling, and reading the many funny parts to my husband…does that count as two thumbs up in one? What a great journey!" – Kings River Life Magazine

Once again, the author knows how to tell a story that immediately grabbed my attention, and I couldn’t put this book down until the last page was read…. This was one of the best books in this delightfully lovable series and I can’t wait to see what exciting adventures await Anastasia and her friends. – Dru’s Book Musings

This was such a fun quick read. I can't wait to read more of this series. – A Chick Who Reads

The story had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. – 5 Stars, Baroness Book Trove

Christmas, cozy mystery, craft, how can I not love this book? Humor, twists and turns, adorable characters make this story truly engaging from the first to the last page. – LibriAmoriMiei

"Take a murder mystery, add some light-hearted humor and weird characters, sprinkle some snow and what you get is Handmade Ho-Ho Homicide—a perfect Christmas Cozy read." –5 stars, The Book Decoder

A Sew Deadly Cruise

"A Sew Deadly Cruise is absolutely delightful, and I was sorry when it was over. I devoured every word!" – Suspense Magazine

"Engaging Drama! Brilliant! A Sew Deadly Cruise earns 5/5 Upgraded Cabins. Winston’s witty first-person narrative and banter keeps me a fan. Loved it!" – Kings River Life

The author knows how to tell a story with great aplomb and when all was said and done, this was one fantastic whodunit that left me craving for more thrilling adventures. – Dru’s Book Musings

The combo of investigating and fun makes for a great read. The author does a good job of keeping the killer a secret. Overall a fun read that cozy fans are sure to enjoy. – Books a Plenty Book Reviews

Winston has a gift for writing complicated cozy mysteries while entertaining and educating. – Here’s How it Happened

Stitch, Bake, Die!

…vivid descriptions, witty banter, and clever details leading to an exciting and shocking conclusion. All making for a page-turner experience to delight cozy fans! – Kings River Life

Lots of action, a bevy of quirky characters, and a treasure trove of secrets add up to another fine read from Lois Winston. – award-winning cozy mystery author Maggie Toussaint

The mystery was nicely executed, with bits and pieces of clues here and there as well as humorous interludes that enhanced the telling of this tale. This is another great addition to this engagingly entertaining series… – Dru’s Book Musings

This is a well-plotted mystery that takes the term ‘crafty old lady’ to new heights. – Mysteries with Character

This story is fast-paced with wacky characters, a fun resort setting, and a puzzling mystery to solve. – Nancy J. Cohen, author of the Bad Hair Day Mysteries

…psychologically intuitive and funny as heck! (Anastasia) kept me smiling throughout the story...The plot, characters, and twists in this mystery are excellent. – Sasscer Hill, award-winning author of the Nikki Latrelle Mysteries

Guilty as Framed

Engaging and clever! – Kings River Life Magazine

"Check out Guilty as Framed, another outrageously funny mystery in (the Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries)" – Suspense Magazine

This is another great entry in the Anastasia Pollack series. – Dru’s Book Musings

Winston not only combines (New) Jersey, well-crafted characters, and tight plotting, but she adds her own interpretation and possible solution to a factual museum art crime. – Debra H. Goldstein, author of the Sarah Blair Mysteries

Author Lois Winston deftly frames the fast-moving investigation…with a dollop of mother-in-law hijinks, mama drama, home renovation, and doggie intervention. – mystery author Maggie Toussaint/Valona Jones

Reading a book in this series is like visiting an old friend. – Nancy J. Cohen, author of the Bad Hair Day Mysteries

A Crafty Collage of Crime

Rich in descriptions of the countryside, and alive with characters you’d recognize if you saw or overheard them, this book held my interest throughout and gave me more than one chuckle. It’s a delightful read. – Kings River Life magazine

Winston imbues her story with current references, an appealing setting, layered plotting, and an unsinkable sleuth. Well done! – Muddy Rose Reviews

"A Crafty Collage of Crime is yet another terrific cozy mystery featuring reluctant amateur sleuth Anastasia Pollack." – Lynn Slaughter, author of Miss Cue

"A Crafty Collage of Crime was a cute, fun, and entertaining read with independent, engaging, and delightful characters, and the mystery was outstanding, too!" – 5-stars, Novels Alive

"If some days it seems the world is too much with you, I suggest you read A Crafty Collage of Crime. You’ll probably want to go back and read the rest of the series. Anastasia is irresistible." – Judy Alter, award-winning author

The author’s style of writing was fresh, crisp, and entertaining. She kept the story moving without filler and provided the solution to the murder at just the right time. – Tam Sesto, Cozy Review Crew

Sorry, Knot Sorry

If you like your mysteries with a healthy dose of humor, Winston delivers... A delightful read whether you’re at the beach or in your favorite recliner with a glass of wine. – Kings River Life Magazine

A twisty-turny plot spiked with red herrings and a double shot of moxie. – award-winning author Maggie Toussaint

Lois Winston serves up another fast-paced cozy mystery that will have you chuckling through to the end. Add to your beach reads basket for a fun escape! – Nancy J. Cohen, author of the Bad Hair Day Mysteries

A humorous quick reading release from the real world. – Debra H. Goldstein, author of the Sarah Blair Mysteries

Seams Like the Perfect Crime

The plot moves along at a quick pace and as the story progressed, I found myself unable to put the book down until I’d read the very last sentence. 5-stars, Kim Davis, author of the Cupcake Catering Mysteries and the Aromatherapy Apothecary Mysteries

Wit and humor abound in this crazy cozy caper as Anastasia and her husband aid their detective friend in hunting down a killer. The tips for memory quilts at the end are a bonus. Highly entertaining! 5-stars, Nancy J. Cohen, author of the Bad Hair Day Mysteries

"Cozy mystery lovers will devour Seams Like the Perfect Crime! It’s an entertaining and amusing mystery that shines through with authentic characters." – 5 stars, Novels Alive

This is such a page-turning mystery with some truly laugh-out-loud moments. – 5 stars, Sarah Can’t Stop Reading

"Seams Like the Perfect Crime is a fun cozy mystery that is sure to delight all fans of the series and genre." – 5 stars, Bonnie Morrison

There is so much humor in this series, and this book definitely didn’t disappoint in that area. The writing is intelligent, imaginative and rings true. I can highly recommend this book and series. – Kara Marks

Revenge of the Crafty Corpse

An Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery

By Lois Winston

Copyright

Revenge of the Crafty Corpse copyright 2013 by Lois Winston. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

No content contained within this work was generated using artificial intelligence (AI). The content contained within this work may not be regenerated, repurposed, or processed using AI in any capacity, as this work is not part of the public domain.

To avoid doubt, this work may not be used in any manner to train AI technologies to generate text, including, without limitation, technologies capable of generating works in the same style or genre as the work.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, locations, or events is coincidental or fictionalized.

Cover design by L. Winston

Dedication

For Jack, Zoe, and Chase,

who have left permanent handprints on my heart

Acknowledgements

To Carolyn and Ashley Grayson for not only having my back but for their continuing friendship.

To Denise Dumars for finding Anastasia a home.

To my family: Rob, Chris, Scott, Jen, Megan, and the very special trio mentioned in the dedication.

To my fellow founding members of Liberty States Fiction Writers: Gail Freeman, Caridad Pineiro, Kathye Quick, Michele Richter, and Anne Walradt for their amazing friendship, their constant support, and their ability to keep me sane.

In addition, for offering their expertise during the research phase of this book, special thanks to John-Michael (J.M.) Jones of the Gray Funeral Home in Westfield, NJ and Officer Tomasso Campisi of the Union County Police Department.

ONE

If that damn woman doesn’t shut up, I’m going to strangle her!

My mother-in-law had been settled into the Sunnyside of Westfield Assisted Living and Rehabilitation Center for all of ten minutes before she began carping about the accommodations. Uppermost on her list of complaints was her roommate, a woman we’d so far only heard, due to the mauve and burgundy floral print curtain separating their beds and a one-sided phone conversation detailing the latest episode of some cable soap opera—in a syrupy sweet southern accent quite at odds with her blunt vocabulary. At least, I hoped she was summarizing a soap opera. I’d hate to think, given the X-rated play-by-play, that she was gossiping about actual people.

Shh. Lower your voice, Lucille. They can hear you in Hoboken.

Don’t you shush me! And I don’t care if that prattling twit or anyone else hears me. This is unacceptable. I want a private room. She tightened her hand into a fist and pounded it against the arm of her wheelchair, but given her weakened state, the punctuating gesture left negligible impact.

Medicare won’t cover a private room, I told her, forcing my voice to remain calm as I unpacked her suitcase.

Three weeks ago Lucille had suffered a minor stroke. Subsequent tests revealed a brain tumor, which may or may not have accounted for some of her more bizarre behavior over the last few months. With my mother-in-law, it was hard to tell.

Lucille had weathered the stroke and surgery remarkably well for an eighty-year-old. The tumor proved benign. After a brief hospital stay, she was now ready for some minor rehab to help her regain her strength and coordination. Hence, today’s resettlement.

If my son were alive, he’d never let you dump me in this hell hole.

She should only know that her son had tried to kill her to get his hands on her life’s savings—which he then proceeded to gamble away, leaving me to clean up the mess after he conveniently dropped dead at a roulette table in Las Vegas. Trusting wife that I was at the time, I thought Karl was at a sales meeting in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

Given his knack for pulling off such a duplicitous life, Karl should have been a CIA operative instead of an auto parts salesman. At least then our sons and I would be receiving a fat government pension. As it was, Dead Louse of a Spouse left me in stratospheric debt and at the mercy of both an army of bill collectors and Ricardo, the loan shark. Not to mention his mother and Manifesto, her French bulldog, AKA Mephisto the Demon Dog to the rest of the family.

Ricardo now resides in a federal facility. However, barring some philanthropic leprechaun gifting me with his pot of gold, I’m stuck with the bill collectors, Lucille, and Mephisto. The bill collectors treat me better. And yet I continue to refuse to divulge to Lucille the truth about her precious Karl, no matter how much she goads me.

My name is Anastasia Pollack, and I’m a glutton for punishment. Welcome to my dysfunctional world. I hope