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    Grey
    Grey
    Grey
    Ebook99 pages56 minutes

    Grey

    By Samuel Alexander

    ()

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    About this ebook

    What if these hands I have aren't mine
    These lips, these eyes, my arrival to life
    If I didn't write with my right but instead with my left
    If the secrets I hold aren't mine to be kept
    What if my life belonged to someone else

    GREY is a collection of poems dealing with the darker times in life. How we sometimes doubt ourselves, question our own existence, and even create fantasy worlds to escape from the depressive states we find ourselves in.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSamuel Alexander
    Release dateJun 27, 2020
    ISBN9780463518878
    Grey
    Author

    Samuel Alexander

    Samuel Alexander is just your regular guy trying to write the stories he enjoys to read. He lives on the Island of Bermuda, sharing space with the voices in his head. Cheesecake is his one true love, and fries. He firmly believes that chocolate makes everything better, coffee is the elixir of life and a good book is the source of pure happiness.

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      Book preview

      Grey - Samuel Alexander

      Meal

      Today I have been upchucked

      Regurgitated

      Eaten away by the toxic enzymes of life and pushed back out into the world

      Changed

      Different

      Not the same as I was

      Deformed and unrecognizable

      I escaped the depths of the belly of life

      Was forcibly projectiled and again... I breathe

      But I could've been vurped

      Thrown up... reswallowed... and sent back to be disintegrated by the evil enzymes of life

      Then I would not have survived

      Mission Incomplete

      I thought about ending my life today

      Put a stop to the pain

      Make it through all the rain

      I thought about ending my life today

      Leave behind all the madness

      The hurt anguish and sadness

      I thought about ending my life today

      But at the moment of execution

      I came to a sudden conclusion

      I thought about ending my life today but couldn't…

      I didn't love myself enough to follow through

      When Enough Is Not Enough

      Have you ever felt you’ve given so much more than you had

      The very air you breathe,

      Down to your last breath

      Sacrificed too much of your heart, sold too many pieces of your soul

      Felt like your physical strength was depleted

      Gave too much of your psychological well being

      Convinced yourself that it was worth it all, it would pay off in the end

      Only to find yourself alone with just a dream

      The hope long gone that it would come to be

      Apparently they were the kind that pipes are made of and you must now watch them flow away into the dark

      Into the space you thought you’d fill up with that dream before life crushed you, trampled on you, destroyed you

      Removed the joy from your world

      Made you question if your karma had come back with a vengeance

      If failure and depression are the only things for which you’re destined

      You tried

      You gave

      You sweated

      You teared

      Had faith

      Believed

      Gave up so much through the years

      Only to end up back where you started

      Your passion crushed, faith in humanity discarded

      So much time you can't get back

      So much wasted love and energy, all gone

      Never to return

      Unless you start all over again

      But what if you have enough bad karma to follow you from here to there

      You played by the rules, chased, and fought and everyone said, keep on going

      Then you hit a space where words were not enough, to keep the fire burning

      Maybe you should just stop the music, silence the song, be done with it all, move on

      How could it be that more than enough is not enough, and now you have no more to give

      What happens when life wins

      Have you ever felt like before you started the battle was already lost

      Then you consider, maybe it would be better, if you simply were no more

      It's Time

      I think it may be time

      Time to let go, move on, give up

      Face the music and let the world consume me

      Meet the fate I tried to change

      Rearrange

      Evade

      Accept the nothingness and drift away into the eternal abyss of worthlessness of the me I really am, and accept that the me I want to be is the stuff that pipes are made of

      I should just wash my hands of it all and be done

      Be consumed by the dark and not worry if I will be missed when I'm gone

      I don't care enough to be concerned about such things

      The years of smiling and laughing and pretending to be this person that on the inside my true self laughs at

      He knows the dark secrets of self-loathing and hate that dwell deep within

      That I’ve hit the point where I am so far gone that faking it isn't working anymore

      Tried to fake it to make it and ended up breaking it and no longer feel like making it or taking this life thing anymore

      Blink, and I'll be gone

      From the darkness to the darkness, a trade-off from awareness to nothingness will probably be so much better than this

      And the shame of it all is the blame... it's all mine

      It's all my fault

      I'm undoing the it all and disappearing in the truths of the worthless lie of my life I will no longer deny

      I'll cry myself into an eternal goodbye

      Yeah, it's time to let go and...

      Strength

      This is it

      It's all over

      Too much...I'm done

      Don't know how I got here but now that I'm here I know what must be done

      What I must do to be free

      I will no longer be a

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