Murder at the Tarsal Shore

Murder at the Tarsal Shore

By James Robert Paige

©2024 James Robert Paige

An Old Friend

It had been a very busy day at the Polypantheonic Temple. Every day is a holy day to some god, and sometimes their special days overlap.

High Priest Catt Zago had just finished chasing the last of the doves out of the small sanctuary, and was surveying the debris she had to clean up. The doves had made less mess than most of the worshipers, but that was just what happened when you celebrated four different holy festivals at the same time, and one of them was for the succouri goddess of revelry, and another was honoring Thud, minor god of loud drums and cheap beer. A lot of other parishioners who didn’t even observe any of the day’s holy traditions had shown up anyway, just for the party.

As she cleaned, there came a knock at the door.

Catt had already flipped the sign in the stained glass window to Closed. The front door was locked.

The knock repeated.

The beer is all gone! Catt shouted.

A voice from the other side of the door asked, Is that you, Catt?

Catt blinked. Everyone in the neighborhood knew her name. She had been priest  here for more than six years… but that voice. It felt familiar in a strange way.

Catt hurried to the door, and opened it.

A tiny little old woman was standing there. She had curly white hair and curly white sideburns framing a wrinkled and sun-weathered face.

Ha! exclaimed the old woman.

Catt’s jaw fell open. She picked up the old woman and spun her around in an embrace.

Ponk!

Oof! Go gentle on me! said Ponk, but she hugged Catt right back just as hard.

After Catt finished spinning her old friend around a few more times, she finally put her down. A restrained embrace would not have been sufficient for the woman who helped raise her.

Ponk sized her up. Look at you all grown up! You got so tall!

I can’t believe you’re here! Catt gushed joyfully. Come in! Come in! And then after they were off the street, Catt added "Sorry about the mess. It usually looks better in here ."

She cleared a seat for Ponk and then continued sweeping up.

Ponk surveyed the remains of the celebrations. I heard you had become some kind of priest, I’m glad to see you picked one of the fun religions.

Catt laughed. "It is  fun!"

I also heard you married a princess or something, Ponk added.

Catt leaned against her broom. Close, I guess? She served a one year term as King, but she is out of politics now. But back up a little please. Who has been telling stories about me? And how did you find me?

Ha! Ponk laughed, "I’ve been sailing with your brothers. Brieg got a letter from you. He was wondering how you  found him. "

Catt forgot all about cleaning. She sat down in the pew next to Ponk. The wedding announcement? So he got it! I had no idea where he was, so I wrote ten copies of it– that was Segna’s idea– and we mailed them to the postal offices at all the big port cities I could think of. Which one did he… wait, Catt gripped Ponk’s arm, Is he here?

Ponk shook her head, No, just me. But I know where they are. I promised I would give you an address if I found you, so you can write if you want.

We have so much to catch up on! Catt said, grinning with delight. You have to meet Segna. Do you have a place to stay? Are you hungry? We should get something to eat.

Ha! One thing at a time, Ponk chuckled. Yes to all of that. Now you best let me help you with this mess.

No, sit! I’ll take care of it, protested Catt.

Ponk hopped up and took Catt’s broom. None of that nonsense! Have you forgotten? I’m the one who taught you how to swab a deck in the first place.

Ritual of the Drowned

–all with truncheons and torches, said Ponk, and just as they were closing in around the girl, Catt here pushes between them and she says–

No! objected Catt, covering her face with her hands.

Yes, go on! Segna insisted, patting Catt’s shoulder.

Ponk continued, "Catt pushes through and she shouts ‘ It wasn’t her! It was me! I stole the mayor’s horses, and I did it for the sake of love! ’ "

I did not say that! Catt protested. She could feel her cheeks warm with embarrassment.

Ha! She said something very much like that, affirmed Ponk. "And then before they dragged Catt away, the thief runs  over and plants  a kiss on her! You should have seen the smile on Catt’s  face, grinning ear to ear like a fool, as if she wasn’t being chained up and carted back to the mayor."

Segna laughed.

I don’t remember it like that! wailed Catt. This was a lie, Catt remembered it vividly, even though it had been a long time ago.

The evening sun was sinking in the sky. The three of them were seated around an outdoor table at a fine cafe in Temple Hill district across the street from the University of Great Bakak. There were empty dessert plates on the table. That, Catt reflected, was when the trouble had started. Once they had run out of delicious food to keep their mouths full, the embarrassing stories had started. Catt had completely forgotten about the sheer multitude of embarrassing stories that Ponk knew about her.

Of course, Ponk was saying, once we found out what the penalty for stealing horses was, Captain had to bribe some guards and we snuck her back to the ship and hid her in the bilge for a week until we could finish the repairs.

I cannot imagine my dear wife keeping hidden and quiet for an entire week, laughed Segna.

Oh, she wasn’t quiet, said Ponk with a grin. She moaned and groaned about lost love so loudly, we had to tell the carpenters that the hull was haunted by a jilted ghost!

Slander, Catt said, shaking her head. Segna seemed to be delighting in the stories, so that was alright. Even though Catt was a bit mortified, it also felt good to see one of the most important people from her childhood bonding with the person who she shared her new life with.

This has been wonderful, Auntie Poncka, said Segna, but I really must be going. I don’t want to be late for office hours, and then I have a night-lecture to teach. We should do this again soon.

Ha! Yes we should! said Ponk. "I’ll be in town a good  long time, and I’ve got plenty more stories."

Catt shook her head. I can’t believe she’s letting you call her Auntie. Catt was smiling though. She couldn’t hide how happy she was feeling, in spite of a little embarrassment.

Let’s meet for breakfast on Foursday. Segna was scribbling in her appointment book. We can walk over to the Smokefields.

Segna gave Catt  a quick kiss and then gathered her big fashionable hat and her small fashionable satchel, and with a wave, she was off across the street back to the university.

Catt watched her wife go, and then realized that Ponk was smiling at her.

I’m glad to see you found yourself a keeper, said Ponk. Ha! Smart one too!

Catt nodded in agreement.

Anyway, said Ponk, changing the subject. I wanted to ask you for a favor.

Anything, what do you need?

Well, said Ponk, "I’m overdue for a prayer, and you said your temple is for all  the gods, right?"

All the ones that aren’t big enough to have their own temples, yes, Catt confirmed.

Ha! So I reckon that makes you the High Priest of Unnesche in these parts, doesn’t it?

Catt was surprised. I didn’t know you worshiped the Drowned Lady.

Ponk shrugged. I don’t talk about it much, but yeah. Every time I’m in a bad scrape and I think I might die, I beg her to spare me. I ask her to let me live a little longer, and so far she always has.

Catt nodded.

Do you have any idea how many shipwrecks I have lived through? asked Ponk.

Um… two? guessed Catt.

Ha! Five! exclaimed Ponk. One before I met you, the one we survived together, and three more since then!

Catt thought about this. Maybe the Lady does favor you then?

Yeah, said Ponk, "but now look at me, thinking of settling down and retiring here in the middle of a desert. What’s she gonna think? Am I cheating her ?"

Catt was thrilled to hear that her dear friend was thinking about staying permanently, but she tried to push aside her joy for a moment and think objectively as a polypantheonic priest.

You feel like you owe it to her to drown eventually? Catt asked.

Exactly, confirmed Ponk, More than that, I worry that when she finally collects me, whatever crew I am sailing with will suffer too. On my last voyage with your brothers, I was thinking about that constantly.

I see, said Catt. Don’t worry, we’ll find a way to make peace between you and your goddess. And for now, I can lead you in a blessing. Do you remember the tea ceremony they used to do in the Temple of Unnesche in Srappa? she waved for the waiter as she said this.

I dunno, said Ponk doubtfully. "I’ve always been more of a save  my life in a storm  kind  of worshiper, and not so much a going to the temple and paying tithes  kind of worshiper…"

Catt laughed. Well, you have to adapt a little if you’re planning on avoiding storms and shipwrecks from now on.

Would you care to see the dessert menu again? asked the waiter.

No, thank you. Can you bring us a pitcher of the anise sun tea and two clean cups?

Certainly, said the waiter. With honey or without?

Without, said Catt. And extra napkins please.

Ponk wrinkled her brow. Oh, fishbones! I think I do remember this one.

The waiter returned with the requested items, and Catt poured the tea.

I’ve never performed this one, but I know how it goes, Catt said, testing the temperature of her tea with her finger. It was warm, but not hot. Then she took the lid off the salt shaker and poured a generous amount into each cup.

For a moment there was a jingling as they both stirred their cups. Ponk was frowning thoughtfully. Are we supposed to say anything special? she asked.

No, I don’t think so, Catt said. Unnesche isn’t a very talkative goddess. Just calm your mind and think about gratitude for all the times she may have spared you.

Ponk’s frown deepened, and she stared into the distance as she stirred.

After a while, Catt said, Okay, that’s enough. It’s now or never.

They both lifted their cups to their faces, Catt leading, and Ponk following.

Catt inserted her nose into the tea.

Ponk reluctantly did the same.

Together, they both inhaled deeply.

After a few moments of coughing and sputtering, Catt remembered to pass a handful of the napkins to Ponk, and grabbed a few more for herself.

When Ponk had wiped away her snot and tears, she chuckled. Ha! That was awful! I hope the Lady liked it.

I’m sure she did, Catt said, tilting her head to the side and blowing out a little more tea into her napkin.

Are you ladies quite alright? asked the concerned waiter who had rushed back shortly after the culmination of the ceremony.

Quite all right, assured Catt, and sorry about the mess. I’ll leave you something extra, she added apologetically.

Oof. How often am I going to have to do that? asked Ponk. Daily? Weekly?

Catt laughed. Seeing as I’m the High Priest, and I have to do it with you, I’d say not more than once a month!

Address

That night, after she had dressed for bed and watered the plants that hung outside the window, Catt sat down at Segna’s writing desk, and found herself some leaves of paper and a good quill.

She began to write a letter.

Dear Brieg,

It has been too long! I miss you. Ponk told me you were getting some well deserved rest and relaxation at some fancy resort. Does that mean you’ve made a fortune? Please write back and tell me all about your adventures. Where have you been sailing? Are you calling yourselves merchants or pirates these days? What are the best things you have seen? Tell me about the most interesting people you have met.

As for me, I’ve finally settled down, so you can write back to me at this address any time you want. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve been working at a little temple for all gods, and I took over as high priest recently when my old boss retired. The work is completely legit. No scams, no grifts. I haven’t done any crimes in ages. I’m really good at being a priest. I feel like I am helping people.

I’m glad you got my wedding announcement. Which port did you find it in? Guess what? I’m still married to her! I’m really happy. She was king for a little while, which is totally different than kings  were back in Srappa. Around here they pick kings by lottery each year, and they used to kill them at the end of the year, but they don’t do that anymore. She is really good at magic, and she teaches at the wizard university here.

Here is a picture of us together.

Concentrating, Catt began to draw two women holding hands at the bottom of the page. They were little better than stick figures, but Catt tried her best. The left figure was tall and had messy hair and two little horns. Over her, Catt wrote (ME) . The right figure had curvy hips and short curly black hair. Around her hand, Catt put a bunch of little stars and sparks to represent a magical spell. Over her, Catt wrote (SEGNA) , and underneath, she wrote (more beautiful in real life!) .

Catt stared at her handiwork. It wasn’t very good. Maybe she should find a real artist and pay them to draw a better picture? She wasn’t sure. She decided against it. It seemed like a nice idea, but she would have to find the artist, and schedule a time when both herself and her wife could sit for the portrait, which wasn’t going to be easy. She didn’t want to delay her letter and miss Brieg. She knew his current address was only temporary, and then who knows where he might go next? Back to sea, probably.

The picture was good enough. Catt knew that Brieg understood she couldn’t draw. Maybe it would make him laugh. She made her smile a little bigger, and added eyelashes on Segna, and then wrote " With Love, Your Sister, Catt Zago. "

As an afterthought, she added at the bottom: " P.S. Tell Draket I said ‘Hi’ ."

Then, after consideration, " P.P.S. Fine! I know what you are thinking. I’ll write him his own damn letter ."

She got another leaf of paper.

Draket,

I hope you’re staying out of trouble, and not getting my brother mixed up with any of your terrible stupid plans.

If you get him hurt, I swear. I know I haven’t been around to keep an eye on you for a long time, but you better believe I haven’t forgotten the trouble you–

Catt crumpled up the paper and dropped it into a wastebasket. She took a new leaf, and then stared at the wall for a long time before trying again.

Dear Draket,

I hope you are healthy, staying out of trouble, and making good decisions.

I know we have had our differences, but I haven’t forgotten that you mean the world to Brieg. Since you are still sticking around after all these years, it seems like you must care a lot about him too.

Thank you for taking care of him. Look out for each other.

I’ve still got my eye