The McCray Parables: The Fountain of Truth

Copyright © 2024 by Jeremy Bursey

All rights reserved.

jeremybursey.com

E-book edition: 1.0

License Notes

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Some real-life cities, towns, institutions, or products may appear to lend authenticity to a scene for literary purposes, but this work does not intend to endorse or malign them. There is no catharsis or advertisement happening here. All other trademarks and copyrights are the property of their respective owners.

No part of this text may be reproduced in any other work without giving credit to the author. No part of this text may be used for commercial purposes, except by reviewers or critics under fair use rules, without the author’s permission. The complete text is intended for personal use only and may not be used for commercial purposes, or duplicated in any other form for purposes other than personal, noncommercial use, or posted to any other site without the author’s permission.

This novel is the massively overhauled second edition of the original The Fountain of Truth e-book (2015).

Identifiers

ISBNs (e-book): 978-1-966546-00-9 | (paperback): 978-1-966546-01-6 | (hardcover) 978-1-966546-02-3

Cover Design

Layout: Jeremy Bursey | Background Image: AI generated by Leonardo AI | Title Font: Holiday Present (by 50Fox, fontbundles.net)

Published By

Zippywings Books | Lake Worth, Florida

Contents

Dedication

Introduction

Part 1: The Fountain of Truth

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

The Fountain of Truth

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Christmas Log

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

St. Nick’s Gym

Chapter 8

Part 2: Happy New Life

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Happy New Life

New Fear’s Eve

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Hopeful New Wife

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Acknowledgments

Other Books

Coming Soon

About the Author

For all those who dream crazy dreams.

And my family. Maybe they’ll read this someday.

Introduction

About The Fountain of Truth

(originally written for the 2015 standalone collection, with a few additional style edits)

Every year on Facebook, I like to republish a fable I had written on Christmas Eve 2005 about families eating together at a popular restaurant for the holidays while revealing shocking truths about themselves to the surprise of their companions and children. I’d written it during a season when I, myself, was waiting tables and serving drinks to families who wanted to celebrate the holidays in public, and I wondered how much truth they were hiding from each other. The Fountain of Truth is my interpretation of what that scene might look like if no one were to keep anything hidden from each other.

Now that we’re coming on the tenth anniversary of that story’s creation, I thought it would be fun to take it beyond Facebook’s range and make it more accessible for not just those who live on my Facebook friends list, but for everyone interested in the idea. So, I’ve decided to port it to the e-book format. If you’re reading this, and if you’re reading this on Christmas Eve, I want to say thanks for spending your evening with the fountain of truth (the fountain) and The Fountain of Truth (the story collection) and remember to always stay truthful because liars suck.

Oh, and the other stories, Christmas Log and St. Nick’s Gym, are brand new. I wrote them to give this e-book, and the idea of the Christmas fable, some weight. But I’m also considering making this into a yearly series, depending on how much the readers want it. Let me know if you want more.

With that, enjoy all the truth ahead.

About The McCray Parables

(2021)

Note: The following passage contains mild spoilers, both for this book and its immediate sequel. Read with caution if you want to be completely surprised, or read after you finish this book if you want to be surprised about The Fountain of Truth only.

The year after I published the 2015 edition of The Fountain of Truth (so, 2016 if we’re doing math), I started writing its follow-up, Snow in Miami. My plan was to do more of the same: write three holiday-themed fables, stuff them into an e-book collection, then release them to the public. If all went well, I’d finish the collection in a couple of weeks. Then I could return to whatever novel-in-progress I was working on until the following year when I’d start on the third collection of fables and do it all over again.

But, as I examined my ideas for the first story in the new collection, it became clear to me I would need an outside story to frame it, sort of like how The Princess Bride has a grandfather reading a book to his grandson to contextualize the adventure, romance, and conflicts ahead. Without the framing device, the story’s ending would make little sense. So, while this seemed like an arbitrary addition on the surface, it created a new problem for me. If I wrote an outside narrator to tell just one story, then the other stories would seem out of place. And I didn’t want anything out of place, so I considered how I could develop a greater story that would encompass all three stories into its narrative and present a holiday fable that embodies the entire collection, not just the ridiculous lesson I’d crafted for the first story.

To address this continuity problem, I came up with the viewpoint character Douglas McCray. We meet him in his driveway as he comes home to a family he doesn’t fully understand, to deal with a holiday he doesn’t fully appreciate. Right off the bat, we’re not sure what to make of him, but then he’s given the task to tell a Christmas story to his four-year-old stepson. Suddenly, he’s like Grandpa from The Princess Bride. Sort of. More like a reluctant grandpa. But it’s enough for us to understand his character and the stories he tells. By the time we reach the end of the story (and his three fables), we’re happy for him. Mostly. He’s learned something about himself as he tries to teach his family what he knows about Christmas. I feel like I’ve done my job.

But then I remembered The Fountain of Truth.

Snow in Miami was supposed to be the follow-up to that, not a standalone. That meant it should contain all the same hallmarks as The Fountain of Truth. But then, what’s the point of writing a follow-up to The Fountain of Truth if it says nothing about Douglas McCray or his Christmas fable-telling habit? Better yet, what’s the point of saying Snow in Miami follows The Fountain of Truth if there’s no mention of our lead hero in that first book?

In my own form of character growth, I realized I couldn’t have a complete series if the first book didn’t include the series characters. So, this 2021 2024 edition of The Fountain of Truth is a retelling of the 2015 classic stories, but through the introduction and lens of our new titular hero, Douglas McCray. In this story, we meet Douglas and his crazy cast of characters for the first time (no longer in his driveway, but now as he prepares for an office Christmas party on the morning of Christmas Eve). Because these stories were never meant to have a framing device until now, I kept this particular McCray story short and simple to prevent creating convoluted situations. But hopefully, you’ll find it a fun introduction to the character as he goes from one holiday adventure to the next in future installments.

And if you do enjoy this first episode, please remember to visit my website at jeremybursey.com for news or links on Snow in Miami (late-2022 2025, hopefully) and other future The McCray Parables episodes as they’re announced and released.

About the Story Update

(2024)

It’s now three years since I wrote the original introduction to The McCray Parables. Thanks to numerous delays, distractions, and the ongoing production of other non-holiday books, including my long-in-development adventure thriller The Golden Paperweight (coming in 2025, hopefully), I’ve been slow to finish this series opener. But I’ve finally reached an endpoint, and as long as nothing blows up, you should get your chance to read it in time for Christmas 2024.

But the story has gone well beyond my original intention.

For starters, the completed version of The Fountain of Truth was just half the length of its sequel, Snow in Miami, bringing it to the whopping length of a short novella. Because I wanted as much consistency among each title in the series as possible, I thought the new story was just too short. So, I wrote a second half called Happy New Life to balance the story better and to keep it closer to the length of Snow in Miami, not to mention to give readers the opportunity to find out what happens next.

My plan was to release Happy New Life as a standalone bonus story for my newsletter subscribers, but it became clear to me rather quickly that it needed to become part of the mainline story, as it bridges certain gaps between The Fountain of Truth and Snow in Miami that would leave events up to interpretation for any non-subscriber to my newsletter. So, it is now part of the main story, picking up where The Fountain of Truth leaves off, and begins in the second half of this book.

That said, I still wanted a bonus story for my newsletter subscribers, but obviously not one so long or detrimental to the main story. So, I came up with the idea for The Elf and the Shoe, which is a standalone fable that Douglas McCray tells to get out of eviction for failing to pay his rent on time and takes place a couple of days after the events in Happy New Life. If you’d like to read this bonus story, please be sure to sign up for my newsletter, which you can access from my website, jeremybursey.com.

You can find out more about the newsletter on my website if you’re interested.

Note: The Elf and the Shoe may not be available until Christmas Eve 2024.

Finally, a Note about the Use of Movie Titles and Brand Names

The McCray Parables tries to live mostly in a fictitious world, where popular names of real-life corporate entities get swapped with names familiar but ultimately different. In most cases, the story allows for a clean swap, and even though you will know exactly which entity the new name represents, it will still come across as fictitious.

However, sometimes, the story needs the real-life name to make sense. For example, in this story, I reference the Hallmark Channel. I first tried changing it to the Trademark Channel, in part to keep the name familiar, but also to pay homage to a fictitious production company I made up when I was a teenager. But in reading it back, I realized no one would understand the context, so I switched it back to the original name. Likewise, because the three stories in The Fountain of Truth were originally independent of each other and independent of the greater narrative, I didn’t have the same rules for swapping out brand names for them as I do for the larger story.

So, in those special cases, I left the original names alone.

And regarding movie titles, I don’t think the story would make any sense if I used substitutes, so I’ve kept them as-is.

I don’t anticipate this name flip-flop upsetting anyone, but I wanted to call it out before you assume I overlooked some continuity errors. While it’s possible I’ve overlooked a few anyway (for example, writing the Angela character as a brunette in her opening scene and making her blonde everywhere else—fixed!), the mix of pseudo and real corporate names and movie titles is intentional. If this does upset you, blame the Hallmark Channel for being so iconic.

Okay, now you can start reading The Fountain of Truth. Enjoy.

Chapter 1

Douglas McCray had heard of the concept of The Christmas Miracle, but he didn’t believe in that Hallmark Channel crap. As a student of reality and a champion of mediocrity, Douglas believed in just one holiday constant: The Bah Humbug. It was the concept he had experienced for most of his life, and it was something he had no problem reliving year after year. It was like the wool blanket he slept under from December to March. Reliable and predictable. Exactly the way he understood his life, even if he didn’t like it.

That wool blanket was covering him now as his squawking duck of an alarm clock harassed him out of his lovely, boring dreams. After thirty seconds of constant drubbing in his ears, Douglas reached out from under the blanket and swatted the clock off the nightstand. The noise changed elevation, but it did not stop. Now it was squawking from the floor.

Bah Humbug, he said.

As the fog lifted from his head, he remembered that today was Monday, and that he could not sleep in if he cared about his job. Unfortunately, he cared about his job, so he waited for the alarm to stop on its own, spent another five minutes holding his pillow to his face as he contemplated whether he could sneak in just one more minute of sleep, then scolded himself for wasting the extra five minutes he could’ve spent standing under a hot shower.

It was time to get up.

As he slipped out of bed, he stepped on his alarm clock, nearly crushing it. He felt the plastic crack under the sole of his foot. It was an accident, he told himself, not at all intentional. Just another Monday.

He put the alarm clock on the table and checked his foot for injury. Because the plastic hadn’t fully splintered, it didn’t cut into his skin, so he was fine. No chance for bandaging it up or calling out sick. He cursed under his breath. It was time to leave the bed behind.

If the Christmas Miracle were a real thing, Douglas’s wish would’ve come true by now. He’d have that vacation he wanted. He would not be going to work the Monday before Christmas, or in this year’s case, the day before Christmas. And he would not be spending Christmas alone again for the tenth year in a row. Nevertheless, here he was, living the life he did not want. And his morning hangover started to hurt.

He shook his head. Stupid Hallmark Channel. He took his pants off and headed for the shower.

After unwrapping his cereal bar and stuffing it in his mouth, Douglas retrieved his favorite tie from the back of the sofa and twisted it tightly around his collar. As he secured the knot, something came scurrying through the crack in his mail slot and hit the carpet below.

It was much too early for a proper mail delivery, so the mysterious object couldn’t have been the electric bill. Plus, it was alone, and bills rarely came through alone. And the people who always shoved fliers through, promoting their lame cover band performances on Saturday nights, wouldn’t have been up before noon. So, whatever this was, it was different than usual, and it interested Douglas enough for him to check it out.

The envelope sat face-down by his front door. He flipped it over to find it unsealed and addressed to him by first name only. And there was no postmark. Just an envelope blank but for the hastily inked version of his name. The handwriting was familiar, but he couldn’t place why. His curiosity grew.

He opened the door and checked down the hall for the delivery person. Whoever had brought it had already reached the stairs or entered another apartment. He wouldn’t get his answers there.

Douglas closed the door and returned to the sofa with the envelope in hand. Because the flap was already loose, he slid the item inside halfway out. A cartoon image now facing him told more of the story.

Greeting him from inside the fold was a card with a picture of muscular Santa directing his elves to hammer nails into a bench press. There were no words printed over the image, but Douglas assumed he’d find some form of Merry Christmas on the inside.

He shuffled to the door and checked the hall again. Still empty. It had been so long since anyone had thought of him on Christmas Eve, who hadn’t also asked for an end-of-the-year report, that he didn’t know what to think or feel. He just stood there, staring in the direction of the elevator, until he remembered the clock was ticking. Who could have possibly given him a Christmas card on Christmas Eve, today?

Douglas dropped the card on the table and went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. When he returned, he sat on the sofa and gave the card another look. On the front, Santa stood over the elf, pointing at the miserable creature with his left hand and raising his fist over his head with his right. The elf, who was hunched over the bench press as he watched Santa from over his shoulder, had sweat spewing from his face. In the muddy background, other elves were building other pieces of gym equipment, and from the topmost part of the card, a clumsy elf was tipping backward off a factory ledge while his arms flapped for balance recovery.

Douglas frowned. Seemed like an odd choice to demonstrate peace, love, and joy today. Very little about the card gave him the warm-and-fuzzies. If someone had wanted to change his mind about the holidays, the picture of Santa Claus exhibiting tyranny in the workshop didn’t help. Perhaps the real message was on the inside. He flipped it open to get the rest of the story.

The card was blank save for six handwritten words:

You’re a Grinch.

--Signed Miss Nancy

Douglas smirked. Of course.

He closed the card