In the Garden of Memories: Looking Glass Saga, #10

Chapter 1

Secrets

ADDIE BARELY HAD TIME to admire how beautiful the snow was this year, coating the streets and rooftops in a frosting of white and making the world look almost untouched every morning. The sharp cold of upstate New York never quite made it inside the house where a hectic menagerie of bodies came back home to celebrate the holidays. The house was packed this year, with Evan’s new wife staying with them, and both Joe and Travis bringing their own partners to stay as well. It was almost a good thing that Ryan remained a bachelor and Adam couldn’t convince Heather to come to visit. Their house was big, but she didn’t know how many more people they could fit.

Not that they were out of rooms. Every morning, Addie looked longingly at the room across the hall from her. It was empty. It had always been empty, reserved for if any of her friends came to visit and needed a place to stay. No one had taken up the offer so far, though Addie couldn’t remember asking anyone. And even so, there was something so strange about it sitting empty. Like there should be someone in there. Especially with the house this full, it seemed so strange that it was empty.

There was another room between Lance and Adam that was also vacant, but Addie felt wrong about putting anyone in there. It felt strangely reserved, but she didn’t think too much about why.

He’ll be back.

The madness of the holidays was a good distraction. She didn’t spend too long lingering on the empty room with so many brothers all gathered in one place. They were rowdy together and caused so much chaos that it surprised her that the neighbors didn’t call.

All except one. Lance served as a reminder that something strange had happened last semester. Their group of friends felt fractured after the first few weeks, with Sarah and Rob getting closer to Lance and speaking to the rest of them less. Not that they didn’t speak to them at all, but Addie couldn’t help but feel a division between everyone. Lance had gone a month without speaking to anyone, and even after that he was much more isolated than he used to be.

Heather said it was probably the stress of exams, the SATs looming heavily over him because he actually cared about his grades, but that didn’t explain the people he was hanging out with now. He had different friends, a much smaller cluster of people that neither she nor Adam had seen him hanging out with before, and she worried that something was happening. He wouldn’t even chide Adam any longer for not studying as he did before, or hang out like they used to. And he’d somehow dragged Sarah and Rob into it.

But they weren’t here to keep her away any longer. And she wanted to help him come back to his old self. She knew there was something wrong and there had to be some way to get him back to normal. All she needed to do was get him to talk to her and she was sure he would tell her what was going on. Lance had always been open before. He wasn’t Adam.

Now that they weren’t in school and he couldn’t escape her by rushing off to one of the hundreds of things he suddenly had to do whenever she tried to corner him, Addie went to find him in his room. Even Evan had gotten up this morning and she could hear him and Tiffany downstairs with the rest of the family, but Lance stayed locked in his room this holiday. Despite Adam having the same classes, somehow Lance was the only one with homework that he absolutely had to do before he could spend any more than the mandatory amount of time with the rest of them.

She knocked on his door and waited for it to drift open, Lance appearing in the entry a moment later. He did nothing to hide his room, letting her have a full view of the computer on in the background and the lack of anything that looked like a textbook visible anywhere on his desk. He didn’t look like he was doing anything that important, only a chat window and a game open on the screens and nothing else interesting happening in the rest of the room. Even his bed had been made that morning, though from the dark circles under his eyes she wondered if he had slept at all last night.

Hey, he said. What’s up? Everything okay?

I wanted to ask you that, Addie said. We barely see you.

Lance shrugged. Homework.

Where?

The carefully curious expression dropped into annoyance on his face. What do you want, Addie? he asked, the pleasantness gone. He still didn’t close the door or do anything to stop her as she walked past him into his room.

Addie stopped in front of his bed and put her hands on her hips, looking at him with a frown. You’ve been weird, she told him. You can tell me if something’s going on, you know. I’m getting worried about you.

I’m...

He stopped himself, his lips sealing shut and his jaw clenching. There was a look that passed over his face and his eyes left hers, looking down and away. He looked almost sad for a moment and he breathed in through his nose, stepping away from the door and back to his computer. Slowly he let out the breath he’d been holding and shook his head. A small smile crossed his face, but that sadness didn’t quite leave.

You’re...? Addie tried to push.

Lance muttered something quietly, too quiet for Addie to hear, and tried to force his mouth into a smile. It didn’t work. It’s none of your business, Addie. Or Adam’s, so you can tell him sending you in isn’t going to work.

I’m not here because of Adam. There’s something wrong. I know there is.

And it’s not something you can fix. Lance’s eyes flickered briefly to the mirror against one wall before they went back to Addie. I’ll be down in a bit.

I can help, Addie insisted.

You need to stop trying to fix things, Lance said. His mouth opened to say more before it shut once more. He took another deep breath through his nose and walked over to grab his phone.

Addie felt like that should offend her. She was only trying to help. She said nothing about trying to fix anything, though if Lance wouldn’t do anything about whatever was bothering him, she had to do whatever she could to encourage him to try to get help. If you have something to say—

I don’t, he said. His thumbs were now flying across the screen, messaging someone and not looking at her. I’m... It’s... He shook his head, shoving his phone into his pocket. That sad smile was back on his face and there was a laugh in his quiet voice. She ruined every single one of these, didn’t she?

Addie watched him, concern growing. She knew that wasn’t for her, and it didn’t make sense. There were some new girls in his life of late, but Lance hadn’t said he was seeing anyone. And whoever this girl was, it didn’t sound like it ended well. Who is she?

It was the wrong thing to ask. Lance didn’t look angry so much as alarmed, and he shook his head. Don’t ask, he said, his tone sharp and demanding. Please, just... I’m handling it. That’s all you need to know.

So there is something.

And I’m not telling you what.

Is it a girl?

You’re getting nothing.

Addie hated it, but Lance was looking at his phone again. There was definitely something different about him. He looked frantic and exhausted compared to even the start of the year, and she couldn’t just blame that on the stress of school and graduation. Applying to schools wouldn’t do this to him. It hadn’t done this to Adam. Now that she knew there was something, she just needed to figure out a way to help him make it better. Even if he wouldn’t ask for her help, she couldn’t just let him suffer.

Her eyes went down to his hands. If she could get her hands on his phone, she could find out what was going on. Why he was acting so weird. What he was keeping from her. What he was keeping from even Adam.

Sarah does want to know why you’re not responding to her, though.

Addie looked up. Her hand grazed over her pocket and she realized she’d left her phone in her room.

Oh, Evan’s up. Lance said, looking over her into the hall as Evan’s laugh echoed through the house. Still, Lance hesitated. Is Rayne here?

No, she’s seeing her mom today.

Lance nodded and went past her to the stairs, leaving her alone in his room. Addie watched as he left, watched the stoop in his shoulders that hadn’t been there until this semester and just how tired he looked as he moved. Something was wrong, and if he wouldn’t tell her what it was and let her help, she would do what she had to so he wasn’t alone.

She could ask Sarah. Or Rob. He was in their book club. They might know. But they wouldn’t tell her anything that happened in that book club.

But, she realized as she dashed back to her room for her phone, everyone in that book club was a little strange, especially this semester. Heather and Kevin both voiced concerns about their roommates. Well, Heather did. She liked the distraction of figuring out what was going on with Sarah to keep her sane amidst the exam prep and her far too many extracurriculars. As far as Addie could tell, there was something a little off about Sarah, but nothing that couldn’t be attributed to her having a boyfriend and wanting to keep some of her personal life private from her prying roommate.

Rob was fine too, according to Kevin. Of the two of them, Kevin had given up the pursuit the fastest, though Rob wasn’t noticeably weird these past couple months. Still, Kevin had a brother to worry about, and Peter was wandering off more and more lately.

It was just Lance that was very obviously dealing with something. And he was talking to Sarah and Rob instead of her.

Addie picked her phone up off her bed to find there were no messages waiting for her. That Lance would stoop to this to make her leave him alone stung, but it confirmed the fact that she would have to do something to make him talk to her. She could help if she just knew what the problem was. She let out a frustrated breath and started scrolling through her phone, her determination stronger than before.

She should ask Sarah or Robert, but they both were keeping their own secrets right now. But that didn’t mean she was out of people. There were people in choir who knew Lance too. One of them, Alison, was also part of that book club. They didn’t talk much, but Addie had her number. Maybe if she...

Alice.

The name in her phone made her stop. Did she know an Alice? Alison was right next to the name in her phone, so that wasn’t it. She didn’t have classes with anyone named Alice. She didn’t know anyone by that name from elementary school. She didn’t meet someone by that name last year at Sarah’s beach house, or at one of Joe’s concerts, or anywhere else that she could think of.

And yet the sight of the name made something inside of her ache. Emotions passed through her, overwhelming and too many for her to pull them apart. She let the phone fall on the bed and sat down beside it. Addie could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and spilling over onto her face, could see her hands shaking in her lap, but she couldn’t figure out why. It was over Alice, but she didn’t know who that was. It made no sense.

Addie gave herself a very confusing minute while the emotions rode past. A name had never done that to her before. A name shouldn’t be able to do that. And yet, she couldn’t quite bring herself to pick up her phone again to figure out who she was.

Addie drew in a deep steadying breath and looked up at the door. Outside, her family sounded like they were having fun. She should go see them. Maybe Lance would know who this girl was in her phone, and why the sight of her name made her heart ache. Maybe if she started with something else, Lance would feel better about telling her what was wrong.

There was something moving out in the hall that looked not quite right. Something that made that part of her heart stir again so soon, and the aching in her heart came back. Her feet brought her to the door as she caught something flutter past the door across the hall, the room now open. Something with purple hair and wearing a Lucena Academy uniform.

Before she could stop herself, Addie ran into the door, slamming it open and looking back and forth inside the room. She needed to know what that was, but the guest room was empty. Dust covered the surfaces, from the bedside table to the dresser with the mirror resting on top of it. Rayne had clearly not gotten to cleaning this room in a very long time.

It still felt wrong for it to be empty, though Addie couldn’t place why.

Not that she was alone in here. Addie couldn’t help but feel like she was being watched. Another look around the room and she caught two large purple eyes staring out from the other side of the mirror. She jumped at the sight of them, but they followed her. She drifted back and forth, creeping closer as she stared back at them. She was seeing things. She had to be.

Are you...?

Addie didn’t know what she wanted to ask, but she was almost certain they heard her. The eyes blinked closed and they were gone, leaving Addie alone. She backed out of the room and closed the