From the Outside In: Jewish Post & News Columns, 2015–2016

Introduction

In 2014, Bernie Bellan, the editor of the Jewish Post & News, called me out of the blue and asked me why I wasn’t writing for him. He’d seen a piece I’d written for the Canadian Jewish News, remembered I wrote once for the Jewish Post & News, back in 2010, and asked me to contribute more often.

I’m a freelance writer. In addition, I do some teaching, knitwear design, and editing. It’s not every day that someone calls you and asks you to write for them. In fact, it’s practically unheard of—I have to make pitches all the time to editors, so I thought, what could I lose? An editor is offering to pay me! (But not much, as Bernie would joke!) It’s hard to say no to that.

Joking aside, it has been a delight to be able to make contributions to the Winnipeg Jewish community in this way. As a newcomer to Canada, I often see things differently than someone who was born and raised in Winnipeg. I’ve lived in several U.S. states (Virginia, New York, North Carolina, and Kentucky) and in Israel as well. Although I’m an outsider to Winnipeg’s Jewish community, I’m more of an insider when it comes to thinking critically about Judaism. I have a master’s degree in Religious Studies, focusing on women’s issues in Judaism, with a minor in Islam. I also hold a master’s degree in Education.

As a result, I’m looking from the outside in. Since I don’t have family in town (or in Canada), I don’t hear what people have to say at their Shabbat or holiday dinner tables. I also don’t have a relationship with the history of Jewish Winnipeg. When I first moved here, I’d ask why something worked a certain way, and immediately, I’d be treated to a long (sometimes wandering) historical narrative. This is how it was, the person would explain . . . "And that’s why you see this today."

Of course, history does not have to define us! We can choose new ways of being, exploring, and relating to one another as a community. What’s more, sometimes we allow history to dictate our lives simply because we haven’t thought creatively about how we might change things or make improvements. We can do better. Let’s think outside the box.

I want to thank all the people who wander up to me at synagogue, at the Rady Centre, or on the street and tell me that they like the column. Often, I don’t learn your names, and sometimes it takes me a while to figure out which article you read or how you know me. The Jewish Post & News features my headshot next to the column, and I hadn’t thought much about it. I mainly use it to prove to my twins (who aren’t quite reading yet) that see, Mommy is a writer. Here is her picture in the paper to prove it!

The people who come to speak to me say important things. They remind me that words have power, and that they are reading and listening. Sometimes, I hear new ideas of what I should be writing, and I’m all for that! As a writer and an introvert, I spend a lot of time alone . . . perhaps too much time. Please give me your thoughts. Please also, next time, remind me of your name and how you know about what I’ve written. I’m often so absorbed in getting my kids dressed after swim class or to sit still during services that I may have missed meeting you previously. Give me a chance to meet you. It’s never too late to make a friend! Please allow me to become yours.

I also hear sadness or loneliness in the responses I get at times. I can help steer someone to a resource I’ve discovered in Winnipeg that might help them. More often than not, I discover the holes in our community fabric. These are the places where people need help, support, and community, and there is no infrastructure to support them.

We live in a city that’s not so large. We also live in a Jewish community that’s shrinking, bolstered up by newcomers from other countries. As such, we have to do work that perhaps Winnipeggers aren’t historically accustomed to doing. It requires more than a good bagel (although that helps!) or a conversation.

We need to be pushing ourselves towards more—more learning, more responsibility to one another, and more efforts to support one another in the rich infrastructure that’s already here. We’ll have to re-examine our values—what does it mean for me to be Jewish? How do I define this? How does my family, my congregation, or my community define it? How do we continue to meet our goals so that we can sustain that definition?

Recently, I participated in an online conversation in which individuals discussed how hard it was to find a congregation that fit. There was a fault line in the conversation. On one side, there were people who felt ill at ease in their congregations but who would have to drive an hour or longer to reach the next one. On the other side, there were people who had such a wealth of Jewish opportunities available to them within walking or easy driving distance that they could not imagine what it would be like to have to cross a mountain range or a river to find the next congregation with a rabbi.

I’ve often lived in the communities where there are just a few (or no) Jewish options. Defining your Jewish identity takes a lot of work when you have to do it yourself, without a rabbi, or a learning community, or any lifelong friends or family supports. It’s a struggle, and it’s always a reach—to compromise, to make do, and to learn, by yourself, what makes you feel most comfortable in your religious, social, ethnic, and spiritual life.

Winnipeggers are lucky in many ways. Most people in the Jewish community here have families nearby. There are multiple options in terms of congregations, even if none of them seems to fit some people’s needs exactly. The pervasive climate in Winnipeg is one of religious tolerance, compared to places I’ve lived where the Ku Klux Klan is still active. There’s a lot to celebrate.

At the same time, there’s always much for which to strive. What can we learn, do, or create together? How can we work to mend our fabric so that no one falls through its holes? What else can we build together? 

This collection of columns is a first stab at many of these issues. I hope to write more in years to come, but I wanted to put my first effort all in one place. My hope is that some of these issues extend beyond Winnipeg and might be helpful to other communities as they also reach out to learn more. As one of my closest friends, an Episcopal (Anglican) priest, has pointed out more than once, our congregational lives are more similar than one might think.

A couple of weeks ago, a wonderful lady who makes great contributions to support our community came to me and told me she cuts out my columns and keeps them in a file so she can reread them later. Oh—thank you. That was the greatest gift she could have given me that day. I hope this collection of columns will allow you to recycle all those clippings. Perhaps that’s the only reason for putting this together. If so, it’s worth it. It’s my hope you’ll have this in one place in case it should ever be useful again.

In the meanwhile, thanks so much for all your kind words and for the file folder.

Wishing you all good things,

Joanne Seiff

July 2016 

Contents

Introduction

Finding Jewish Identity—for Preschoolers

Transforming Tu B’Shvat

Reading the Whole Megillah

Everyone Has a Responsibility: Re-visioning the Synagogue

Foreigners, Egypt, and Derech Eretz

Culture Clash, Pesach, and Why We Do It

Jewish Learning: Just Do It!

Social Justice: Fixing Our World

Jewish Community: Belonging and Ownership

Holiness—Davening with the Angels

Immigration and the To-Do List

The Red Heifer: Owning Your Faith

Meeting the Needs of a (Much) Younger Demographic

Using Summer Camp to Build Jewish Identity

Adjusting Fundraising Approaches to Address Younger Community Members

Reproducing: Hannah and Jewish Fertility Issues

Building Sukkahs Together: DIY and Decentralizing

Quality versus Quantity: It’s a Numbers Game

Saying Modeh Ani-Coping with Dark Mornings

It’s Boring! Nothing Happened!

Letting in the Light

The Blessing of Becoming...

Hypocrisy, Halacha, and Best Efforts

Shabbat Shirah: Making a Joyful Noise!

Food, Farming, and Our Jewish Identities

Is She an M.O.T., or Member of the Tribe?

Making It Ourselves: An Embarrassment of Riches

Purim and Holy/Transgressive Community Space

Navigating Jewish Boundaries

Making It Real: Welcoming the Stranger

A Positive Springtime Habit

Creating a Safe Space for a Regular Joe

Counting Ourselves—Finding a Way through the Wilderness

Speak Up and Contribute: If You’re Going to Complain, Do It Constructively

About the Author

Finding Jewish Identity—for Preschoolers

-first published January 21, 2015, as Building Jewish Identity—for Preschoolers

I walked between my twin three-year-olds, holding hands. Leaving preschool, we passed an older, bearded man wearing a kippah. One of my boys waved hello.

Hi G-d! he said with nonchalance.

I was loading my guys into the car before I realized what had happened. I felt flooded with embarrassment. I spent the ride home explaining that although there is a divine spark in each of us, this was not the Almighty, but a rabbi at the Chabad Jewish Learning Centre. I explained who the rabbi was, mentioning his grandchildren, who were my sons’