The Integrity Method

DAY 0

INTRODUCTION

Isn’t it fascinating how the word integrity includes both a subjective and objective definition? The concept of integrity presents a paradox: objectivity and subjectivity should not be able to exist at the same time – logically, opinion and fact should never overlap. And yet, both definitions of the word remain true despite contradicting one another. Fascinating, indeed.

One would assume that to fully comprehend the meaning of any word, all aspects of its definition should be included. But for some reason in our modern society, the objectiveness of structural integrity has taken a backseat in terms of ubiquity to the subjectiveness of theoretical integrity (also known as morality) – so much so that being a good person in today’s hyper-political climate could mean the difference between having or not having a career, a bank account, or an upstanding reputation.

Prioritizing goodness is a very new development: perhaps for the first time in human history, morality holds more value in the social consciousness than strength. With so much at stake personally and professionally, this conversation begs the question, what exactly constitutes a good person? Who gets to determine which version of morality is most integral to society as a whole?

As you’ll come to see, the answers to these important questions are quite irrelevant, because this book isn’t a social commentary on the rightness or wrongness of moral codes (or the implications of prioritizing them over traditional values). This book is a roadmap to unshakeable mental health, and mental health is quite simple when you take the time to truly consider it: thinking pleasant thoughts feels pleasant. It’s our gnawing need to define our worlds from a place of opinion-based morality that impedes our own happiness.

Therefore, instead of trying to determine which definition of the word integrity best serves society, perhaps we should simply acknowledge that the greater meaning of integrity includes a paradoxical quality. Perhaps a life of positive mental health requires less choosing of sides, and more examination as to how each side balances the other. And perhaps, by untangling the philosophical notion of paradox, in general, we can untangle our own propensities for emotional discomfort, as well.

Simply stated: our entire journey of self-discovery will boil down to understanding this paradox between objectivity and subjectivity, and then figuring out why the paradox matters. The concept of integrity, or that which is integral for stability, will serve as our North Star during the journey.

A Powerful Life

If this book has made its way into your hands, you are likely living a fragmented life of partial integrity: some days broken, some days whole. Your mood flails about like the wind blows. And yet, the notion of partial integrity is an oxymoron; it does not exist because it cannot exist. You cannot be both whole and not whole. You cannot be both unified and divided. Would you care to live in a house of partial structural integrity? Eventually, such a house could not even exist anymore. In time, it would collapse under its own weight.

Many cultures over the years have arrived at this exact understanding, and so they have sought to defeat the paradox by training their men for battle (modern social justice is just this generation’s version of the same ideological territory battles which tribes have been fighting for centuries). If strength is the key to integrity, then we must prepare to exert our strength, primitive man has long said. The savages must adopt our rigid doctrine if they are to be saved. Rigidity, though, doesn’t solve the paradox, either. Not everything can be angular, hard, and brittle. Hostility is rigid. Anger is rigid. Which means morality is quite rigid, as well. Again, we’ve arrived at the doorstep of the paradox: how can objectivity and subjectivity both exist at the same time? What does integrity really mean?

Here's an early glimpse of an idea that we’ll examine in detail over the next six weeks: a powerful life takes on a transient, flowing quality in which decisions are made one after the other (many without much consideration) that eventually gain momentum like the current of a stream. The rush of the current creates an immense amount of power, no different than a dam allowing water to generate electricity. But of course, nothing about water is rigid, which begs the question: how can something so gentle also be so powerful?

The answer to any paradox, as you’ll come to see, can’t perfectly be explained with words. The only way to solve the paradox is to describe the feeling of knowing the answer. And what is the feeling of knowing commonly called? Harmony. Balance. A mixture of structure and flow. Disharmony is the reason so many people find themselves stuck, wondering why their iron grip of control isn’t making them happier or calmer; or conversely, why their hedonistic, laissez-faire attitude doesn’t reap the material manifestations that they crave. Learning to find the sweet spot of life creates balance: we’re looking for the midpoint between soft and hard, flexible and rigid, abstract and geometric. Even architects of skyscrapers must consider bend and sway if their masterpieces are to stand the test of time. Living a life of integrity is no different.

Deciphering which aspects of your life require more strength versus those which require more flow is your primary purpose as a human being. Most people face a life of hardship because they completely ignore the quest for balance and instead focus only on the unpredictable conditions they face. It’s no wonder their lives feel like a dinghy in a hurricane. Water can be tranquil, but it can also be furious. If we can learn to navigate the storms, we can transcend the trappings of chaos and burden. If we can transcend those trappings, then can become masters of destiny.

Luckily, becoming a master is no more difficult than deciding to first become a skilled novice – truly, the later steps of this journey are no more difficult than the first. All that changes is your level of trust in the process, and the strength you feel as a result. Build your vessel with absolute integrity, and then simply enjoy the ride. Such is the promise of existing in a physical universe with physical laws.

The Nature of Flow

Over the next six weeks, I will teach you what the word strength really means, and why integrated strength means more to self-development than morality does. Mind you, strength doesn’t have to mean dangerous, offensive, or brute. On the contrary – when strength is fully accounted for, life becomes a powerful game of let’s see what else I can do. When you begin living with unshakeable power, your emotions will naturally elevate in ways that you likely consider silly or naïve today. You’ll feel like a child, full of passion and excitement, ready to show the world your latest trick, and unafraid of falling. You’ll flow from one amazing experience to the next, knowing that you’re safe and loved.

If you’ve noticed, people who live fragmented lives without integrity like to scoff at the process of tapping into strength and becoming powerful. Why? Because those people perceive life in reverse: things happen to them, which means they must react accordingly. This viewpoint infers that emotions are a byproduct of circumstance. These people believe that they are at the effect of life; and with this belief, their failures can be accepted as existential and beyond their control. There is nothing weaker, and therefore scarier, in a person’s psyche than deciding to feel emotions based purely on the subjectivity of present circumstance. You must decide to be whatever you want to be before the world has a chance to tell you what you must be. Whatever you decide to be will dictate exactly what you receive from this life.

If you decide to continue with this course, you’ll receive a precious gift right away. At the end of this introduction, I promise to reveal the absolute key to living a happier, more fulfilling life – a key that you can implement right away. My only requirement for this key is that you don’t skim ahead; you must wait with bated breath and gleeful anticipation to receive the gift. No gimmicks or games; finish this introduction, and I assure you that you’ll never look at your life quite the same way again. We’re building a solid foundation from which all good things can flow forth. I know that if you do the work and feel the exhilaration of accomplishment, this key will transform the way you see the world.

The World

The Integrity Method is not a study in hoping or wishing, but rather in purposefully creating, which means we need to care less about processes and more about implications. Humans love to collect and guard things; we love to have something in our back pocket to finger mindlessly. Belief systems are no different. We chew on our beliefs viciously, especially those related to our personal futures. We love to have a plan and pick at a problem like a scab. The process of rumination works for some, but what does this behavior imply? It implies that we can only be what we want to be once we have what we want to have. And as we’ve already established, this mindset lacks integrity and will eventually crumble.

There is only one self-development process that works for every person, every time, under every circumstance: forging personal integrity, and then surrendering to the flow of life. But if you don’t understand the true nature of integrity, how can you ever hope to utilize it? Ironically, nothing about finding happiness is easy until the day it becomes the easiest thing in your life; at which point you’ll laugh and say, oh there you were, right in front of my face all along. The gift of total, absolute pleasure sits wrapped at your feet constantly, moment by moment, waiting for you to glance down and receive it. But first, you must be able to define it.

Maybe you’re truly ready to turn a corner and become something greater. Maybe you need a bit more suffering first. Regardless of your current stead, if you can learn to lean on that which is timeless and dependable (that which never fails), you will have discovered within yourself an understanding about mankind that few ever reach. Keys, doors, goals, processes; they will all seem insignificant compared to the peace you feel from knowing your own true nature, and then basking in it. Another word for this phenomenon is freedom.

When I speak of the world (and I will do it often), I’m referring to the average, frustrated, ignorant mindsets that dominate mass consciousness and culture. Much of this book will be spent examining humanity’s instincts and attitudes in an effort to better understand why we currently act the ways we act. It’s ironic: human beings have never been better equipped to live in comfort and style, nor have they ever had so much instant access to information; yet the self-help industry generates billions of dollars per year. Why is the world so unhappy, despite every logical reason to be more satisfied than ever before?

Before we begin, I want to give you one final opportunity to bask in your anxiety. Whether you like it or not, your anxiety is a piece of you that has shaped your life for many years, and ironically, giving it up won’t feel good. You wouldn’t have kept it around this long if it didn’t provide some sort of emotional payoff. Today will be the only time I give you permission to complain, so enjoy it for a few moments. Bask in the freedom to hate something; really let your indignation wash over you. If you have any good little sayings about your frustration, let them out. I want you to really feel and visualize whatever grinds your gears and fuels your discontent. Does the pain feel good? It certainly feels better than depression or grief.

The Best Way to Read

By choosing The Integrity Method, you are likely in one of two places in your life: either sinking fast and unsure as to why, or still searching for that elusive leap into true purpose and satisfaction. I have fallen into both camps in my life, and over the course of many years I have developed a cohesive strategy to alleviate much of the anxiety I felt. Regardless of where you are on your journey, you’re now at the right place.

I am not claiming to be any smarter than you, but I have certainly put in my 10,000 hours. The strategies and understandings in this book turned me into one of the country’s leading mental health experts, and as such, I have come to love these strategies dearly. As you’ll come to understand, anything you love should be celebrated and focused upon. If you can come to love yourself fully and unconditionally, your life will feel extremely potent. All internal psychological issues begin with self-identity.

The Integrity Method will reconstruct your flawed identity by offering a model of the universe that you can align with effortlessly. I will explain exactly why anxiety and depression are so common, and then teach you how to exploit this model of the universe for your personal gain and pleasure. The crux of our work is simple: whatever you want in life, you can have. I feel morally comfortable sharing this information because I know that once you realize the power at your disposal, the decisions you make in terms of desire will be based purely in integrity, and thus will benefit all mankind.

A final warning, though: giving up your current identity will sting. Your old patterns, beliefs, and behaviors will fight you at every turn. The process is akin to a surgical procedure: it hurts, it’s messy, it takes time to heal, and you must truly commit to see results, which means you must faithfully listen to your doctor. This book is best implemented with private discussion sessions, one for each week, and you’re surely starting to see why. Opting to cut yourself open without a doctor may work out, but why would you want to take the risk? I strongly encourage exiting your comfort zone and embracing the weekly meetings, which will hold you accountable for your progress and provide answers to any questions that arise. As you’ll come to see, though, the way you interact with the world is always your choice.

The best way to read this book is one chapter per day, followed by some self-reflection, as the content tends to progress quite rapidly. On the seventh day of each week, I will give you a little food for thought to help you maintain this new momentum, but those days are mainly for rest. Rest and relaxation are just as important as work, so take time to mentally recuperate on that last day of each week. I don’t want you searching each day. Like building the muscles of the body, we must first tear down the muscles of the mind and then give it time to grow back stronger; otherwise, we risk exhausting ourselves and moving backwards.

Are You Excited?

Beyond taking some time to rest each week, all that is required for this journey is a spirit of commitment and an open mind. Nothing that exists outside of yourself will ever rival the immense contentment you can feel by simply relying upon what is within. Read the daily teachings and keep them at the forefront of your mind each day, taking great care to not pass negative judgment as a reflex. What we are ultimately attempting to do is allow your psyche to freely move from moment to moment without clinging to residual emotions. That’s all that happiness is, really: the ability to let things go without compulsively clinging to their charge.

Keeping an open mind is critical when evaluating anything that attempts to conceptualize the unseen. Even if you don’t agree with my interpretation of the meta-physical, you can respect the fact that the act of creating it brought me a lot of joy when I otherwise may have felt anxiety or sadness. Being willing to listen to other viewpoints will always make your personal beliefs stronger in terms of viability. Through this subtle practice of willingness to listen, you will be practicing acceptance as well. Accept all things as they are and delight in them.

Some days will be difficult to understand or conceptualize, and that is okay. Do your best to internalize what you can, knowing that whatever you absorb that day was meant to be. Go easy on yourself. Don’t turn this process into a struggle. Knowledge builds steadily with momentum, so perhaps the next day will better clarify the questions from the previous day. Although you can expect some pain along your journey, the treasure you seek will make your discomforts well worth the effort.

So then, what is life’s primary key to happiness that I promised to give you today? Simple; it is the feeling you’ve hopefully enjoyed since opening this book: anticipation. Learning to live in a perpetual state of feeling enthusiastic about the next moment will magically open any door you choose. Subconsciously looking forward to your own life means that you are ready to receive whatever comes next. Blessings can only flow when you set yourself into a state of allowance. Tomorrow begins the process of teaching exactly why anticipation works the same for everyone, and how to use it successfully on whatever door you choose. I hope you are excited for what’s to come.

DAY 1

IDENTITY

The Celebration

Welcome, my new friend, to your own life. The party has already begun, but it hasn’t gotten good yet. Luckily, the evening is young. We still have so much to look forward to.

Guests are still a bit wary of each other right now. They congregate in the safety of their herds, trying to keep their voices down. Appearing nonchalant is key, they think. The music is on, the food and drink are laid out, but the energy is low. A layer of self-consciousness still drapes the room like dust on an old painting.

Years of social conditioning suffocate the natural instinct to joyously connect with each other. Alcohol may eventually ignite the gathering; but even then, the fun will feel sloppy and forced. And tomorrow morning, the tab will come due. No matter though; every guest will happily trade a hungover day of torment for a couple of hours of less psychological burden tonight – the desire to feel the flow of vitality is so strong that we’ll poison ourselves to feel it.

But what will you do? Remember, this is your party, your life. Will you stand in the safety of the dimly lit corner, casually whispering, but really hoping for someone to come and make your night interesting? Perhaps you’ve grown tired of parties – people in general, really – and consider yourself retired from celebrations altogether. Or maybe other people secretly repulse you, and the only reason you even attend parties is out of obligation. Whatever you’ve decided about your experience is your choice. Whatever you perceive to be real will feel real to you. So, the real question is: what do you want?

Aspects of the Psyche

Most self-help jargon relies on either a massive call to action or a forced shift in routine in order to change your beliefs; the assumption being that the intrinsic beauty of the human experience will eventually shine through if you just muster enough willpower. This plan of action is misguided for a number of reasons, but mostly it’s out of order. It assumes thinking drives actions, actions create beliefs, and then those beliefs create identity. But really, the opposite is true. Your identity (whatever you have decided about yourself to be true) actually creates beliefs based on whatever circumstantial evidence arises in the moment. Beliefs then manifest as decisions, which beget outcomes.

It’s the judgment of circumstance as unfavorable which causes our suffering. But since thoughts and emotions exist downstream from identity, we really don’t need to focus on willpower at all. Why? Because identity dictates everything. But to shift your identity, you must allow it to return to its original nature, which is paradoxical – how can a passive strategy actively change your identity? The answer lies in the mysteries of your original identity, or the spiritual journey. This course will teach you about that original nature and how to return to it.

Since thinking and action exist downstream from you conscious identity, then they are, logically, beyond your conscious control. Another way to say it is that they are largely subconscious aspects of your experience – they are outcomes which manifest without conscious approval. Most people don’t possess the awareness to spot poor choices or incoming triggers as they arise. They either sleepwalk through their lives, or try to strangle the unknowns out of their experience. More simply, they try to swim upstream instead of going with the flow.

If you’ve never come to this conclusion before, the realization can feel jarring because you are finally realizing that the majority of your outlook is backwards and arose without your consent. And by extension, your beliefs are likely not even really yours, either. Something deeper is driving all of it: a system of definitions that you steadily crafted from a young age in order to fit into the world and receive positive feedback from it. These definitions supersede all the desires for happiness and engagement that you claim to want, so we’ve got to address them entirely if we want to shift our identities.

In other words, you learned to interact with the world within the tainted framework of your own perception of it – hoping for pleasure but often experiencing pain. You think your actions and results are to blame for your discontent, but it’s really just the story you tell yourself subconsciously that makes you miserable: my beliefs are correct because they are all I’ve ever known, and any resistance to them is an assault on my very existence as a human being. Remember, again, that these beliefs were originally created and strengthened by forces beyond your control, and yet, they weirdly mean everything to you – that’s what I mean when I say that thinking exists largely outside of your control. You can consciously choose some thoughts, sure, but the majority bubble up without consent or out of habit.

The way out of this self-inflicted pain is to change your identity, which requires an emotional journey, not a logical one. Belief, action, and change in circumstance will all fall into place thereafter.

The Power of Identity

Hear me now but believe me later: nothing directs the winds of fortune quite like your own identity. Identity is your bedrock, your hull, and your soil from which all aspects of living spring forth. Do you regularly feel joy or fear, gratitude or lack, energy or exhaustion? Whatever life you currently live depends wholly on your personal identity; and because you are participating in this course, I assume that you wish to change yours for the better and for the stronger.

Most people subconsciously understand the tremendous significance of identity but do not know how to create it intentionally. Facing a life sentence of quiet desperation, they typically make one of three choices. One, they fortify their position with negative habits like anger and resentment (most common – this option feels powerful but is just masking fear as frustration); two, they try to talk themselves out of the rut with affirmations (actions meant to artificially spike results); or three, they retreat from society in some form or another (in hopes that they can find inner peace). None of these options are wrong, but none of them will create lasting change, either. Luckily a fourth choice exists: release your traumas, learn the truth about energy, and consciously shift into a powerful identity free of fear. Unsurprisingly, the fourth choice is both the easiest option and the road least traveled. It is also the only one which works one hundred percent of the time.

The world will confidently tell you that personal success (in whatever form you hold dear) naturally creates a delightful identity. A little success in life undoubtedly yields a little less stress in certain areas, but does it create a strong identity? Ironically, the exact opposite is true. Success that stems from pain creates a belief that pain is required for success. On the other hand, a true shift in identity will bring all the wonderful things that you crave into your life (while also allowing you to live stress-free along the way). Flipping the script from fighting for manifestations to "allowing manifestations" will serve as the primary focus of our time together.

Where are We Going?

In six weeks, you will not be the same person that sits here today. Your core identity will change in amazing ways; which will naturally lead to a new set of beliefs; which will ignite a more reliable wave of positive emotions; which will inspire all the amazing components of success to take