Twice the Man

About the Author

Chapter 1 – Perception

How someone else sees you does not determine who you are.

That does not mean there is no impact.

-My Father's Wisdom by Cil

Sinda El pulled back her bow downwind of a lovely herd of grazers. The tall grass that thrived in the rocky, salty soil here caressed her thighs and slim waist. The huge pink moon bathed her lithe form in rosy light, gleaming on her red-gold curls and bringing new luminescence to her fair skin. She was tiny, slender and dangerous, the bow bent nearly in half with the strength of her pull, strong enough to send the arrow easily through one of the unsuspecting grazers.

Rem could stare at her all night. He could tell she'd picked a target and knew, from her practice, that her aim would be true. Still, she hesitated, and he breathed out a little sigh, understanding.

She wasn't a vegetarian and wanted to have fresh meat. Even the explorers, who could and did live on rations for months, occasionally liked the taste of unprocessed food. They might have, perhaps, gotten a little spoiled with the meat the Bete hunted nightly and fresh vegetables and fruit K'Ti and the others harvested. He knew she understood that and wanted to be self-sufficient.

But shooting an inanimate target, even a moving one, was not the same as taking out a living, breathing individual with liquid brown eyes and a gentle mien. Not everyone had it in them, however viciously they could fight a human monster.

Hunting with a human was different than hunting with other Prime Bete—those of the Bete who could shapeshift rather than just having some psychic power. Usually, Rem was the one with a bow since, though Prime, his other form was of a primitive man hardly distinguishable from a normal human. But he'd take any excuse to spend time with Sinda El.

You have to come back, Twilight said, her silver eyes shining in the moonlight. It's an emergency. She did not look agitated and, in fact, was licking a paw. She was the prettiest shipcat, in Rem's biased opinion, a black and silver tabby already quite large though she was only half grown. His beautiful girl.

Laren. Always ruining Rem's fun. Can we net this kill or are we under attack? And which camp?

Depends on whether you're going to wait for her to kill it, Twilight chuckled. Not an attack. Council has to meet at the Dragon's camp. You'll have to teleport a few from the lower camp.

Sounds big. They going to launch an assault on the natives? Rem asked, thinking it was time for that and past. He had taken to bringing Twilight with him on hunting runs because the shipcats always knew when the natives, with their packs of trained wolves, would attack. They would have gone after the natives before when Laren was nearly killed if only Xander hadn't gotten sick and the Bete-hating faction hadn't taken over the human camp at just the wrong moment.

They were still cleaning up after that last bit, but Laren might be going nuts since they had him in charge of what had been the human camp. You'd think he'd go stir crazy given his life-long antipathy for humans and the close quarters. Amazing, really, that Laren hadn't lost it already. Who'd have thought Laren could be all responsible for three whole months?

No, Twilight said. The Snake discovered Darma is pregnant.

Cil's on the rampage, eh? Well, that was something else entirely. Knocked her up already? Think Laren would have waited a little bit longer for this particular headache.

Would you wait? Twilight asked.

Not a fair question since I have to, Rem said. She still thinks I'm a kid. But if she didn't… Point taken.

Lower the bow, Rem breathed.

She did with alacrity, probably relieved. What is it? She squatted next to him.

Much as I'd love to watch you all night, we got called back. Will Kindran be okay if you come back with me? We've got a council meeting.

What about the grazer?

Rem gave her a grin and pulled his dagger from its sheath. Bampf! He was gone.

Rem materialized next to a grazer and stabbed it in the eye before it could even register his presence. The rest of the herd took off running, but he was already skinning his kill. Skins and meat were all he needed, though he scooped out the brains as well to help with tanning. Damn it, he was short a bag.

Need one of these? Sinda said at his elbow.

Yeah, he said, hoping she couldn't see his blush as he grabbed the watertight bag with his teeth. I always forget to account for the brains.

Brains?

They use them for tanning.

Sinda laughed. I can't get over how you Bete know so much.

Rem shrugged, his hands elbow deep in the remains of the grazer, but he was nearly through dressing out the animal. We know about a lot of the technological stuff, y'know, from school, but our particular capabilities mean we bring back the occasional product or skill if it's something we don't have, and then stick with the old ways. So they're not lost. Everyone has soaked up that kind of thing since childhood.

And the other humans are picking it up? He knew she considered explorers like herself a little better at absorbing that kind of thing than the average human.

Rem nodded, butchering inside the skin so he wouldn't foul the meat with dirt and grass. He let Sinda seal it since her hands were clean. Quickly, too. Lots of it is labor intensive but it's also kinda new for them, I think. Like a camping trip that never ends. Most of 'em haven't faced anything frightening up close, though, and that enthusiasm could certainly wear off. But, it's working for now.

And there's been no more ugliness about you Bete being demons or anything?

Rem had the usable meat out and pulled the hide off the body in one swift moment, bundling it into another bag Sinda El held out. Every once in a while, but now we have five humans who have become Prime and nearly a dozen who have shown psionic talent. It's interesting that even the new Prime shapeshift into animals from our old planet, not this one. And the kids have seen how useful some of those skills are first hand, so those who might have been leery seem to be warming up to the notion.

And they see you guys as their saviors after being terrorized by Randas and company.

Rem heaved a sigh. Yeah, that helps, too, but lots of those kids still get nightmares. Not how I'd want to do it.

Agreed. Any word on those that left with Randas?

Rem shook his head. Xander thinks they're still alive, followed them with his telepathy before they went out of range and, once in a while, he thinks he's caught a sense that they're within range or nearly so, but no one's spotted or smelled 'em since they left three months ago. Rem shoveled brains into the bag Sinda held open. I don't know, though. Every time we've gone off by ourselves, we get attacked by herds of wild dogs or, worse, herds of dogs under the control of the natives. And you know and I know that's not all that's out there. How could those guys still be alive?

Stranger things, she said, sealing the bags. Your precognition not helping?

I don't know them. That's why I can't just predict attacks by the natives or the Klixit coming after us. It's got to be decisions made by someone I know for implications to hit me.

She nodded as if that made perfect sense, which was part of why he loved her. He'd probably explained for hours to most people and they still never quite grasped the limitations of his power. Is that it? she said, as he began wiping down his arms and hands with cleaning wipes, one of the nice things about technology and something he'd miss when they ran out.

"Yeah. You coming with? You and Kindran are both council members, but she probably wouldn't want to leave the mech.

What's the issue under discussion?

Rem found himself reluctant to bring it up, not because it was a topic that bothered him, but because Sinda knew how he felt about her and was pointedly treating him like a horny teenager with a crush. She might interpret his younger friend's successful romance as a pointed hint. Then again, she deserved to know what the topic would be. Darma's pregnant. Cil has lost his mind over it.

Oh, she said, wiping down the outside of the bag with one of his used wipes. Because she's so young?

What? No! What is it with thinking we're children? Rem said, nettled out of his usual good humor. That eight or so year difference she used as a wall to keep her distance from him was wearing on him mightily. What's the point of having grown-up responsibilities if you're going to be treated as a child? He was seventeen, not a kid. Xander runs one camp and Laren the other and they're both younger than I am, yet you keep treating us, well me, like I'm not old enough to make any decisions for myself. He stood to his full height, fully a head above hers even though he wasn't transformed into his other self.

Sinda El gathered up the bags without apparent strain, though two were quite heavy and rose, unperturbed. So why is Cil upset? she asked as if Rem hadn't been ranting. He hasn't attacked anyone has he?

Rem had his temper in hand again. Not sure what he's done, but they called a meeting and Cil finding out is the cause. Probably because Prime are forbidden to mate with Prime.

Really? Wait, I think I remember someone saying that once before. Why can't you?

Rem wrapped his arms around her. Not entirely sure. But it's a big taboo. Even Xander's father never broke that one. Twilight leapt to his shoulder and, with a puff of air, they were gone.

They arrived right outside Kindran's open mech, a metal monstrosity shaped like a huge spider. Kindran was a stocky lady a few years older than Sinda with hard gray eyes and straight hair cut at the jawline. She was Sinda's long time explorer partner. Both Sinda and Kindran had once had mechs to protect them while exploring dangerous untapped regions but Sinda had torched hers—and the man trying to steal it—a few months back, so Kindran had to protect them both. Rem had used that as an excuse to tag along with their latest excursion, but he thought Sinda El was just humoring him. However, his teleporting did mean he could take Sinda with him hunting at a meadow several kilometers away. And they both liked fresh meat. Sinda looked at Rem with her speculative side-eye. And you still haven't tested whether you can teleport someone just by holding a hand?

No one wants to volunteer in case they become an amputee. Did you decide to come? Or are you going to spare yourself Cil's ire?

I find myself curious to know more about the history of the Bete and why they can't mate among themselves.

Prime. My parents were both Bete, but not Prime, but even that's discouraged.

Well, with more and more humans finding themselves mutated by the lichee that's everywhere here, you might not have the luxury of having non-magical partners. Best to find out what the problem is. Do you get any bad vibes about Kindran here on her own?

Not an idle question, since it was Rem's talent that had saved Sinda before, but not until Kindran had fallen into the hands of some pretty brutal thugs. Rem knew now how much Kindran meant to Sinda, but the question said something about her faith in him. Didn't it?

Not even a tingle of foreboding, Rem said.

Good. Kindran, I'm going back with the kid for a council meeting. I should be back tonight unless… She frowned and turned back to Rem. Hey, Rem, that talent of yours have a limit? I mean, we're two days trek away from either camp, way past Xander's telepathy range. You sure you won't have a problem with a jump that big?

I've jumped that far a few times now. Never a hiccup.

How many times in one day?

Smelling opportunity, Rem said, Only once but I'm sure…

Kindran, we'll be back tomorrow night. I'll leave this meat with you so you can get a break from the rations and I'll bring back some vegetables. You'll be fine?

I've got Pixie to protect me. Kindran's square-jawed stolid face didn't even crack a smile, though it was clearly a joke. Pixie was a gliding critter of hard-to-pin-down lineage but non-venomous and small enough to fit in Rem's cupped hands. Fierce was not one of the words that she brought to mind.

Sinda laughed enough for both of them, handing over only the bag of meat.

Rem transformed into his other form, in his case, a primitive man, only with eyes like steel instead of his friendly blue, a few more centimeters in height, and greatly enhanced senses and physical strength.

The difference was subtle but Sinda El caught it immediately, killing her laughter. Why are you transforming?

Rem sincerely hoped primitive men were immune to blushing. If I'm going to do a lot of jumping, this is better. I focus better and I'm more accurate. I also seem to have more stamina.

Sinda did not look convinced but sidled up anyway so he could put his arms around her. You've got to stop trying to impress me.

He did his best to look innocent, but he wasn't wearing the right face for it. You teleported to that grazer to kill it just to show off, she accused.

Oh. That. His natural grin could not be repressed. One of these days, it'll work. With that, they were gone.

Chapter 2 – History

History should be a lesson, not a leash.

-My Father's Wisdom by Cil

Of course, it wasn't that easy. First, Rem had to leave the hides and brains with the downstream camp, where Laren was pacing back and forth like, not surprisingly, a cat. Darma was at the other camp—without him—and he wasn't happy about it.

Took you long enough, he burst out when Rem and Sinda appeared. This wasn't the time to step off for a cuddle session.

Nice to see you, too, Rem said, shaking his head because Sinda had slipped out of his arms with purpose.

He was not surprised to see her grab Laren by the ear and twist it, bringing him down closer to her height. Is that how you talk to an elder, young man? Is that how you talk to someone who came to help you, so you didn't have to trek to the other camp on foot? Is that how you talk to an adult who can kick your ass in and out of form? And that was pretty brave talk considering that Laren's other form was a Fang Panther that could swallow half of Sinda in one bite.

No, no, ma'am. Laren was instantly cowed. He was always a sucker for pushy women. Well, Rem thought, guess I am too. Sinda gave Laren's ear an extra tweak and released him.

Rem cracked his knuckles and rolled his head around on his muscled neck. So, who all is going up?

Lin. Kim. Crestor, Carson, Kina, Cho's staying here of course, Tinder, Randall, Brest… These names don't mean anything to you, do, they?

Rem smiled sheepishly. I've been busy. I know Crestor, Carson and Kina, but the rest… I don't want to take more than two with me at a time. How many total, including you?

Fourteen. Lin and Kim, Findal, five crewmen and four teachers. Then, Sinda El and me. That's seven trips. Can you make it?

Rem heaved a long sigh. That was a lot of trips at a reasonable distance—three hours walking—and with passengers. The long trips he'd taken, he could already feel a little bit of strain in his jaw and neck. I think so, but if anyone would just as soon stay, I won't be fighting them. I don't think I can bring everyone back tonight though. It will have to wait until morning or they'll have to hoof it.

Laren nodded, his eyes half-lidded. That sounds like strain, man. Let me see if I can make it easier. Seeing how it's a Bete particular problem, maybe some of them would just as soon stay here. He walked into the open husk that had once been an impressive cargo carrier and transformed.

Bet the Captain goes, Sinda said.

And Crestor, Rem added. Surprised Cho isn't interested.

Laren shrank back into his stocky human self. She's a med tech, strictly patching people up. She doesn't care about anything until it becomes a problem. Besides, she worships K'Ti now that she knows K'Ti is a healer. She'll take anything K'Ti says as gospel.

He blew out a breath. Crestor, Carson and Kina are going, Lin and Kim and Findal. So, you, me, and the lady with the hard pinch. That more doable?

Rem bobbed his head. Four trips were far more doable. He shouldn't have been trying to impress Sinda. Took a lot of trips to start straining his powers, but he'd been teleporting all day. He was starting to feel it. Still might be an overnighter.

Showing off again, weren't you? Laren said with a grin.

Rem felt sheepish, but he didn't get a chance to disavow. Sinda said, Yes. But it's a lot to ask even if he hadn't. I think you Bete and even we humans are abusing Rem's powers.

Laren scratched his head. You may be right. It's so damn convenient, but it's lazy. Let's see if we can work something different out. But tomorrow. I really need to deal with this tonight.

Rem narrowed his eyes. What's the big hurry anyway? What is Cil so spun up about? I'm guessing it has to do with you and Darma or you wouldn't be pacing like a panther in heat. He already knew you were breaking the big taboo. You know how to use birth control.

Yeah, but Darma didn't want to. Said we were going to have to face whatever the problem was at some point. Decided it would be her.

Rem knew his jaw was agape and closed it with a snap. Laren, you know…

I get it. I get it. Not excited about gambling with Darma, but she's got a point and I also get that she doesn't want to share me with anyone else. Since I feel the same, I can't really argue with her. And we're going to need to mate if we're going to make it. Laren toed the ground. Just wish she didn't have to put her body on the line and I sure as hell don't want to deal with something wrong with the baby, but I get it. Someday someone will have to break the taboo. And no one is better suited for it than Darma.

He huffed out a breath again. Not that I expect that to make much leeway with Cil, so I'm not looking forward to it. But she shouldn't be standing alone up there, taking the heat.

Rem nodded. Fair enough. I'll take you and Sinda first. I'll tell Carson to get the others ready in pairs so we can do this quickly. Grab me around the neck, kay?

In his mind, he called Carson. Everyone who wants to be in on this needs to be ready in pairs. I'll be fetching back and forth, and I want to be done in fifteen minutes.

Understood. The telepathy shapeshifters—Prime—had in form made communication so easy, too. Probably were getting lazy there, too.

Unbidden, Sinda had slid back under Rem's arm and he gave her a little squeeze and bamf! They were gone.

Laren and Sinda untangled themselves at once. Sinda for efficiency—though he wouldn't have minded a little extra time—and Laren because Darma was there to greet him. Rem figured it was best to miss the smooching and popped out again.

Carson was quick. Lin and Kim were waiting for him while Findal and Crestor were just hustling out. Rem nodded to them. You're next. Bamf!

Everyone was up in fifteen minutes and Rem could feel it a bit in his bones. He could have kissed Sinda El who greeted him with a cup of lichee tea when he showed up with Carson and Kina.

Though, of course, he was willing to kiss her at any time. But he was grateful anyway. He drank deeply and felt his muscles loosen as the lichee replenished at least some of his magic.

Better? she asked.

Yeah.

Just remember, you're under no obligation to wear yourself out for everyone else's convenience. If it gets to be too much. Say so. And say no.

Yes, mom, he said and then wished he hadn't. The last thing he needed to do was stress the difference in their ages.

She winked. She knew she'd caught him. You know it. Let's go in. We're the last ones.

Rem headed toward the medicine hut, but she shook her head. There was a landslide yesterday and a few kids got hurt. Xander decided to build a real council hut instead. She steered him past the medicine hut to one that was fairly large and round. He pushed past the skin hanging at the door and faced a circle of the most powerful people on this planet.

Well, that he knew of. Or rather of the people that crash-landed on this rock six months previously. There was Carson, who had been captain of the ship, and Kina and Crestor, a couple of his officers. Corrina Pensa, the teacher he was just barely getting used to calling Corrina, and Rem guessed a couple of the other older folks were teachers. Xander, the leader of the upper camp and Rem's best friend, and his tiny dark mate, K'Ti—whose pregnancy had grown by leaps and bounds since he last saw her. There was Laren, his other best friend, and Laren's hard-eyed mate, Darma who looked to be in a rage. Laren, Xander and K'Ti were all a year younger than he was. There were other Bete: Lin and Kim, Findal, Tiny, and Cil who looked like he was approaching apoplexy. And then there were a half dozen or so of the older humans, only some of which Rem recognized. Or maybe some were humans who had become Bete like Darma. Been too long since he'd taken a tally.

Since they were having this in the upper camp, Xander got to preside. This was fortunate given that Laren had a short fuse and Xander almost never lost his temper.

I'm guessing most of you know by now why we're here. Sorry to disrupt everyone's routine, but this is an important issue. I suspect this is not the last time we'll be dealing with it, either. For those of you who aren't familiar with the laws that govern the Bete, one of the strongest taboos is against Prime mating with Prime, at least as a heterosexual couple. Darma and Laren chose to break that taboo and, not surprisingly, are now expecting a child. Now, we must decide what should be done.

It's my decision, Darma said hotly.

Ours, Laren corrected.

It's not that simple. The taboo was put in place for a reason. We must decide if it's still applicable, and, if it is, what we must do about it, because, as more and more humans find themselves with magic powers and even the shapeshifting abilities of the Prime, we may reach a point where we have no choice. But, without knowing why there is a taboo, I don't know how critical its protection is either. I'm hoping our archivist can help provide answers.

Cil, tall and usually pale, was red with fury, making his white-blonde hair seem paler by comparison. She has to abort the baby right now! he said.

"Yes, we all know what you want to do and that you're an advocate for the taboo, Cil. What we need to understand if we're even to contemplate your suggestion is why it's a taboo."

The children born are abominations, Cil hissed, as he was wont to do when pissed. That's when his inner snake came through. His yellow eyes gleamed with his ire. No child of such a pairing can be allowed to live.

"If you think you're going to kill my baby..." Darma said, taking a menacing step forward while Laren held her back. Findal and Tiny were doing the same for Cil.

I will have order, Xander said softly but in that voice that brooked no argument. No one will kill anything or anyone unless I and the rest of the council are convinced there is no other choice. So, back to the question at hand. Why is Prime to Prime mating strictly taboo and why is Bete to Bete and Bete to Prime mating discouraged?

Cil shook off Findal and glared at Tiny until he released him. Bete to Prime and Bete to Bete are considered dangerous in case a demon results. More importantly, our village was a small one. If we bred only or primarily amongst ourselves as we had to when there was nowhere to send our children to school in the cities, there were significant risks of deformed or defective children.

From inbreeding, K'Ti said. That's a valid concern, even here where we are more than a thousand.

But, said Pensa, er, Corrina. If we restrict who can mate with who, the inbreeding potential becomes worse, not better without outside blood.

Yes, said Xander. If inbreeding is the issue, the taboo is counterproductive in our current situation.

Darma's anger had changed to a smug smile. Too soon for that, Rem thought to his shipcat, Twilight.

You want me to tell her? Twilight asked.

Oh, right, Laren and Darma could speak with any shipcat, not just Laren's. No, she'll figure it out herself in a moment.

It wasn't just inbreeding, Cil said stiffly. Yes, most of the defective children were a result of inbreeding, but there were still occasional demons. But, when Prime mated with Prime, the demons were all too common.

Can we find a word other than demons? Laren asked. Humans have been calling us Bete demons for generations now and killing us out of hand. It gives me the creeps when one of our own advocates the same. Laren was acting belligerent, but Rem saw real pain in his eyes. After all, he had been born to the humans, his nature hidden by his mother until she was killed for hiding him. And Laren was left chained in the wild to die. Because they said he was a demon, an abomination.

I second Laren, said Rem. What exactly makes these babies so frightening?

I third, said Tiny, his generally jovial face clearly disturbed.

Cil, let's not start sounding like zealots. What is it about these offspring that was so feared? Xander nodded to Cil and the room went quiet. Expectant.

This taboo is the strongest the Bete have, Cil said. Even your father, Drakken, didn't break it though he broke nearly every other law we have.

Including those against rape, I know, Xander said. Dire but vague warnings are not enough Cil. What are you afraid of?

It's been nearly twelve generations since last someone broke the taboo, more than two hundred years. Well, broke it and lived. Mothers that broke it in the past were killed with their cursed— with the fetuses they carried.

It's always the mothers, Corrina muttered and rolled her eyes.

Does that mean you don't know what the real problem was? Darma asked. That they killed those mothers and their unborn babies out of superstition? For no reason?

I believe they had a reason, K'Ti said, her calmness a contrast to Darma's rage. I asked Aya and, though it was very painful to her, she remembered something from long long ago, something more than deformed, something that... She looked expectantly at Cil.

Cil hunched his shoulders. Something that ate its way out of the mother.

Several people gasped. Rem might have himself. Even those that had remained silent looked shaken. Except for