Mischievous: A Missy Rae Mystery, #3

Chapter 1

SOMEONE HAS TO DIE. I don’t care who it is or how it happens, but someone must pay for what they did to my store.

I knew the second I stepped out of bed this morning the day wouldn’t go by without incident. The last few weeks were filled with nothing short of chaos. After a brief scuffle between Granny and a delivery driver, she’d been ordered to de-stress - whatever that meant - and was given a prescription for blood pressure medication to help her. So far, today, she’d fought with the stove when a burner wouldn’t go on as quickly as she would have liked, gone to battle with a wide-tooth brush to comb out her hair, and thrown her fist up at slow-moving commuters - all three of them - on our way to work.

Don’t just stand there, Missy. Do something. Call the police. Call the fire department. Call the mayor. Something has got to be done about these break-ins. We can’t let hooligans walk all over us. Not on my watch, she said.

I eyed the mess the thieves had left behind. This was the second time in two weeks someone had broken into our shop and the tenth incident our town had seen in the past month. I think they’ve already done this on your watch. You should think invest in a state-of-the-art security system to keep the store safe and a good pair of bifocals, so you can see what happened. I don’t know what your hang up is about putting a few security cameras up. We need to protect ourselves. If someone were to break-in again, we’d catch them on camera. If you had glasses on, you’d be able to see that they didn’t do much more than ransack the place. If I had to guess, I’d say they had a party at your expense. Woo-hoo! Party over here!"

She didn’t appreciate my lightheartedness and wanted to make sure I understood how unappreciative she was. She proceeded to wedge her heel on my foot. Oh, sorry. I didn’t see your foot there. I guess you’re right. I do need glasses. Remind me to call the eye doctor... Never.

I jerked away. Why do you do that? Why can’t you be like all the nice grandmothers in the universe? You know, the ones who bake cookies and give hugs?

She ignored my questions and pulled out her cell phone. There’s no time for chit-chat. Everyone already knows I’m the best grandmother a person could ask for. Now if you’ll shut your trap, I have to call the sheriff.

I laughed because the last I’d heard she and the Interim Sheriff Colby Friar weren’t on speaking terms. They refused to acknowledge each other in public or private, which made life complicated for everyone. Poppy County wasn’t exactly bustling with people. You couldn’t walk across the street from our shop’s downtown location without seeing your neighbors at least twice in either direction.

She stepped over a pile of Christmas ornaments that had been tossed out of a bin. I don’t know what you think is so funny. This whole debacle is partly your fault.

My fault? I didn’t break in and ransack the place. I was home with you, remember? I had to pull you away from the mailman this morning because you had a chip on your shoulder about how he sometimes forgets to close the mailbox when he’s done. Speaking of that, I didn’t want to say anything, but—

She glared at me. But nothing. How about you make yourself useful? Go see what condition my office is in. I swear if anyone touched my stuff, I will find them, and I will— Her words trailed off as someone answered her call. Yeah, hello, it’s me, Lola. She rolled her eyes as the person on the other end of the line spoke. Lola Diamond Rae. How many Lola’s do you know, Colby? We have a problem. You need you to come done here now. She rolled her eyes again. Does it matter how I got your cell phone number? What does that have to do with thugs breaking into our homes and businesses and vandalizing our properties?

I whispered, Two questions. Did you call him on his cell phone? And did he say you can call him by his first name?

She cupped her hand over her mouth. Yes, and yes. So, what?

Did he give you his phone number? I arched a brow at her. She’d been given strict orders not to contact him after a series of unusual incidents over the summer - the kind of incidents decent folks never bring up again ... unless ordered to by a court of law, that is.

What’s he going to do? Arrest me? She had no shame. Everyone else in town had learned how to conduct themselves when the strait-laced, no funny bone anywhere in his body, stone-faced interim sheriff was around - everyone except her. She liked to push his buttons.

She hung up. "I’ve about had it up to here with him. If he won’t keep us safe, then, I’ll take matters into my own hands, and you know what that means?"

I groaned to think about it. It means you’re about to make all our lives miserable.

She cocked an eyebrow at me. Exactly!

I AM HERE, AREN’T I? Sheriff Friar looked like he’d just gotten out of bed. His clothes fit a little too loosely. Wisps of curls lay matted on one side of his head, while the other side stuck out like wild flowers in a field. He fished in his front breast pocket for a pen. What happened? After he found the pen, he finally concentrated on the mess. Not you too? He closed his eyes and muttered under his breath. I knew I should have taken the job in Alaska instead.

You have no idea how much I wish you had too, but that’s not why you’re here, is it? Granny pointed to the stacks of turned over boxes, heaps of merchandise dumped in the aisles, and hundreds of forms, drawings, and reams of paper strewn behind the front counter. Look what those animals did, and this is only the front half of the store. Wait till you see what the backroom and office look like. How long are you going to let this go on? I’ve lived here all my life and nothing like this has ever happened before. Pretty soon, they’ll run out of businesses to tear apart and they’ll move on to bigger crimes. Mark my words. I know how these things work. First, they start off with a small petty crime, then, before you know it, they’ve taken over your life. You have to do something now before it gets any worse.

He let out a long sigh, strain and stress written all over his face.

Everyone in town was on edge. Sales of security cameras and deadbolts had skyrocketed over the last few weeks.

What do you think I’m trying to do? Thanks to you, the sheriff’s office has a skeleton crew. I can’t be everywhere, he explained. I won’t even try to be everything to everyone. If I responded to every minor problem, I’d never have time to breathe.

She narrowed her eyes at him. And how is that a problem?

He scowled at her.

She smoothed her hand over the front of her blouse. I already told you I know how to solve your problem.

He gulped. I don’t like the sound of that. The last time someone said something similar, I put them in a cell for threatening an officer. What you say or do in your own home, on your own time, is your business. I don’t want to hear any of it. I didn’t move here to have to deal with threats from the likes of you. Where I come from, people respected the police.

She chuckled, her hands on her belly. And where’s that again?

He swallowed hard. California. Los Angeles.

She chuckled harder. Oh, you, young fool. Don’t be so naive. L.A. is full of people just like me.

A look of fear washed over his face, then, he replaced it with the scowl he usually had on display for anyone outside of his inner circle. I hate when you do that. What can you possibly know about a town filled with millions of people? You live in small town U.S.A. They’re nothing alike. He lowered his voice as if speaking to himself. I don’t know what possessed me to come here. I liked my life in California.

Granny shrugged. Ask me if I care.

I stepped in between them before either decided to attack the other. This game they continued to play every time they saw each other had worn out its welcome. Can we focus on the robbery?

Colby assessed the room again. Did they take anything? He turned to look at the mess behind him. How can you tell if they did or not? This place is a disaster. I thought you were custom furniture makers. Is this what you make?

He was the only person in town who hadn’t purchased anything from us. That alone made him suspect in Granny’s book. We weren’t raking in millions of dollars, but we had managed to eke out a healthy living with our custom pieces made from salvaged finds we picked up at auctions and estate sales.

She shot a glare at him.

What? he asked. It’s an honest question.

She sneered at him. I have an honest question for you too. How old are you?

He looked taken aback, but answered, Thirty-four. Why?

She snickered. Do you want to live to see thirty-five?

I waved my hand in the air like it was a white flag. Don’t do it. You’ll get yourself in trouble again.

WHILE GRANNY AND COLBY sorted out the details for his report, I put the store back together before we had to open for the day. We had a big day planned. A woman had called about a huge order for custom furniture and accessories for her business. It wasn’t unusual for us to receive orders from people we’d never met, but if this one held up, it would be our largest order to date. We had to make a good impression. Having our store broken into and our designs scattered all over the floor wouldn’t help us win her over.

What’s that? Granny pointed out the front window at a small crowd of people lined up to go inside the bakery next-door. What are they up to?

I hadn’t paid attention to what happened. People milled about all the time. The butcher, the baker, and everyone but a candlestick maker had a shop downtown. Our resident candle maker worked out of her home about a mile north of downtown proper and refused to step foot in here again after my grandmother accused her of stealing one of our designs. I don’t know.

As soon as she laid eyes on Babs Lester, our local city council president, she’d forgotten all about the break-in and her annoyance with the sheriff. I knew it! She marched over to the front door and pulled it open wide enough to stick her head out and yell, I know what this is and it won’t work. Don’t even think about coming anywhere near my store. You hear me?

Eunice, her long-time nemesis and sometimes best friend, also a member of the city council, was the designated Granny Whisperer. She walked over, a smile on her face, and said, Nice to see you too, Lola. Is that a new wig on your head? I like it. It camouflages the wrinkles next to your eyes.

I held my breath to brace myself for Granny’s response.

She didn’t disappoint. Touching one hand to her long silver hair, she said, If anyone needs to camouflage anything on their person, it’s you. Has anyone ever told you that you look a wet Shar Pei?

The small crowd who’d accompanied Eunice and Babs on their excursion stopped to watch their exchange. If they got paid for insulting one another, they’d be the wealthiest people in the world.

Joe, the bakery owner, stepped outside. He took one look at them and intervened with pleasantries, Good morning, ladies. Don’t you look lovely this morning?

They may have pretended to be sworn enemies, but when someone tried to fool them, they banded together like a small militia.

Eunice cocked an eyebrow at him, while Granny cocked her hip to one side.

You can’t fool us, Eunice said.

Yeah, it won’t work, Granny added. Try that on someone else. We’re onto you and your wily ways.

With all due respect, Joseph, no one asked for your help, Eunice scoffed.

Joe didn’t flinch. He’d played peacemaker so many times, he could do it in his sleep. He offered a wide grin. I have good news, ladies. I think you’ll agree with me that’s it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. We’ve decided to sell the bakery and retire.

Granny’s mouth gaped open wide enough for a small bird to have flown in and made it its new residence.

He cleared his throat. Did you hear what I said?

Granny leveled her gaze at a man, who’d joined the crowd of onlookers. Looks like you suckered another one. I hope you’re happy because I’m certainly not.

Chapter 2

HAND ME THE STAPLE gun, Granny said as she tried to fashion a 2x4 piece of wood across the back door.

I glanced at the large pile of tools she’d already asked me to hand to her. What do you need it for? Why can’t you use the hammer and nails? I assessed her rather peculiar assortment of supplies. Are you sure this isn’t a fire hazard?

She gave me a look that would frighten a lesser person, like someone not capable of using magic to reverse whatever she did to them. Ever since you learned how to use your magic, you think you’re special. Let me tell you something, dear granddaughter of mine, you’ll never be as skilled as I am. Did you know, at one time, Mayor Brad tried to pass an ordinance to make me register my abilities with the city? I highly doubt anyone will ever have to do that for you.

I tried to hide my eye roll from her, but she knew. It’s like she had a sixth sense about those sorts of things. She knew I did it before I realized it most of the time.

I should call your mother, she threatened, even though we both knew she wouldn’t dare.

My mother made it clear following her last visit from New York. She didn’t want to return to get us out of any other jams. Although she was born with abilities far stronger than either of us would ever know, she only wielded them when things went afoul. In our lives, things often went afoul.

You can’t do that. She’s on vacation, I said.

She pursed her lips together. That’s right. Why do they need to renew their vows anyway? It’s not like their marriage has an expiration date on it or is that one of those newfangled things your generation has decided to make gospel?

We’d been over this several times in the last few days. She’d become increasingly forgetful lately and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. My boyfriend, Elliot, told me it was part of the aging process, but he didn’t know my grandmother like I did. She was a spry little creature with more gumption than anyone I’d ever met. She may have been absentminded from time to time, but she never forgot a face and always remembered details no one else ever paid attention to. Lately, though, she wasn’t herself and it made me nervous.

They love each other. I don’t know why you talk about them like they’re a new couple. They’ve been married for more than half my life. Wes is family. You like him, remember?

She waved off my words. "No one ever said I didn’t like him. I just don’t understand this whole marrying