To Eris - Human: Payton Chronicles, #1

Prologue

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Where to start, I suppose, is the hardest part to decide on. I'm usually good once I'm on a roll, but the beginnings have always been difficult. After all, the whole idea is to make you want to know more instead of falling asleep or running away screaming for someone to put you out of your misery. For instance, who would ever read the first few pages of a book and says, That sucks. Let me buy it. Well, no one I know would ever do that... sober anyway.

Several possibilities of where my story truly begins flash across my mind, but since you can't read my mind I guess I just have to knuckle down and pick one. I'm not sure if it's the right one. I'm not even sure how accurate it is. You may not understand now, but here goes.

I don't know what time it was, but the lights were on, so it had to be after dark. My dad had his steamer trunk sitting open in the dining area. My parents' room opened off this space. The bedroom light shone on the trunk like a spotlight, and drew me to the odd scene.

I walked up and watched, in mounting anxiety, as my dad hurriedly arranged his clothes, a few notebooks, and pictures into the trunk—tucking them in amongst the clothes for protection. While I didn't understand the full extent of it, I did know that they had been fighting a lot, and fear began to boil up within me.

What are you doing, daddy? I asked, afraid of the answer I would receive. All the other times we moved he always packed my things first, and he never spent a night away from me before.

I'm packing, sweetheart.

I knew about packing. We had moved several times already, but something about what I saw seemed wrong to me. Can I go with you? I asked, my voice cracking slightly.

No.

He didn't stop, slow down, or even look at me. I suppose the difficulty and the heated emotions of the situation made it impossible for him to manage, but at the time, it crushed me. I was daddy's little girl. I couldn't imagine how he could just leave me like that. My memory fades there as I started crying. My entire world crashed down around my tiny head, and the darkness swallowed me whole.

I now know that he felt he had no other choice. While I don't really remember my parents fighting much in front of me, I knew they fought. The tension had grown so thick that even at four I could feel it. The reasons didn't matter to me though. My daddy was leaving, and devastating my already broken family. I only recall seeing him a couple times after that.

If I had known how broken my family really was, I wouldn't have blamed him for all those years. At least I don't think I would. It's one of those things we'll never know. He was gone, never to come back.

Chapter 1

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After many years of issues that make dysfunctional look like fun, I found myself in another new town, starting my life with a supposed fresh start. My mom told me that I'm the new girl, a girl of mystery, and can create any life I want for myself. Yeah, right. I had an imagination, but I couldn't perform miracles.

How could a shy, awkward, nerdy, sixteen-year-old girl reinvent herself overnight into an outgoing, confident, even semi-popular person? I didn't have a clue, but I became determined to find out if the possibility existed. I started wearing make-up every day, and replaced most of my oversized, ugly clothes, that I used to hide myself, with ones that almost fit. Although, there was only so much I could do with what thrift store bargains my mom bought. I even tried to do something with my thick mass of plain, straight brown hair.

It wasn't the first time I tried a new start. We moved at least every six months of my life, whether we needed to or not. None of my previous attempts of a do-over ever worked for more than a week or two. I usually made friends easily enough. Okay maybe not friends, but they'd talk to me for a while. For some reason it never lasted.

I hoped this time would be different. The apartment complex we moved into had two rows of three 8-unit buildings. At least a dozen other high school kids lived there, and even some cute guys. An open, grassy area separated the two rows of apartments and their parking spaces. A pathetic playground closed off the far end so that the driveway looked like a U with the country road leading to and from town connecting the top of the U and the playground at the bottom. The area was beautiful with a National Forest bordering one side of the property. Unfortunately, we had an upstairs apartment overlooking the parking lot and grassy island.

I couldn't consider it a complete loss though since six guys usually tossed a football around on the grassy expanse. I could also see the group of girls that usually presented themselves near the front of Ashley's downstairs apartment, opposite my own building, where they had a clear view of the guys and, more importantly, the guys had a clear view of them. Ashley Berman, who seemed the most outgoing teenager around, had come over and talked with me a couple times. Ashley had one of those personalities that you couldn't ignore. She knew how to manipulate people, especially adults, but there was something about her that made me more uncomfortable and self-conscious than normal... which is pretty bad.

One day, my mom was drinking—as usual. What I said never mattered. She only heard what she wanted to. Especially when she'd been drinking, or got high—which happened a lot. She didn't work. She told me all our money came from some rich family member who had died and left it to her in monthly installments. Anyway, I decided to go outside to the oh-so-comfortable cement and metal stairs in the breezeway. It had become my regular perch when my tolerance for being inside dissolved. Given my mom's inept ability to do anything for herself, I couldn't go very far. She had always been very careful to make sure that any bruises or scars that magically and mysteriously appeared on me were able to be covered by my clothes. I suppose that is why I liked warmer weather more—less cloth covering the body usually led to fewer injuries.

I sat near the bottom and watched the neighborhood activities. The early spring day lifted my spirit, and as I walked out the door, I notice the great scenery—Steve tossing the football with his friends. This lifted my spirits even more while simultaneously my stomach tightened, and my heart raced. I knew he wouldn't give me a second thought, but I couldn't help it. He was the typical, hot, varsity quarterback; the sports star of the small, tight-knit community—recruited by the Texas Longhorns, where he would attend the next year.

As I sat down, acting as nonchalant as humanly possible, I turned my attention to the playground. Little kids usually avoided it, or maybe it was their parents that avoided it. That day, a couple little ones played on the swings with their moms. Then it hit me, literally.

The football bounced in an erratic way and smacked me in the head. I had heard the unmistakable sound of a punted football, but hadn't given it a thought until the collision. It didn't hurt much, but it sure embarrassed me. I instantly felt the redness flood over my face and neck as I picked it up. It didn't take much to embarrass me.

You okay? I heard Steve holler.

I looked up and saw Steve and one of his younger friends jogging over to me from the playing field, and I don't think my face could possibly get any more red. Yeah, I said, racking my brain to think of anything else to say, and panic started to take hold.

Sorry about that. Brian doesn't kick very well. That's why he's still JV, Steve said as he teased his friend. He grinned before he turned back to me.

That's okay, I mumble, my inside turning to mush. He had such a great smile. I held the football out for him to take, my own goofy grin plastered to my red face. Steve and Brian both chuckle.

How you liking it here so far? Steve asked, taking the football and tossing it from hand to hand.

My breathing stopped as if he flipped a switch and shut off the power to my brain. My heart raced more, and I felt the clamminess building on my hands. Self-consciously, I folded my arms across my chest and looked anywhere except at the two guys.

It's okay, I guess. I shrugged my shoulders, and my throat closed up.

Well, I'm glad you're not hurt. See you around, Steve said as he took a few steps backwards then turned and jogged off with Brian. They spoke to each other and glanced over at me a couple times.

Oh, my God. Could I have been any more pathetic? He actually spoke to me, and I couldn't do anything. He laughed, but was that to be polite, was he laughing at what I said, or was he laughing at me? God, I wish I could, just once, come out with something captivating to say. English was my best subject in school. I read enough... why couldn't I just talk?

"Steve, you need to learn how to catch better, or Texas will kick you out next year," Ashley yelled across the parking.

I looked up to see her walk toward me with her perfect smile spread across her face.

I'm the QB, Ashley. I'm the one that throws, Steve said in response. To prove his point, he yelled out to one of his friends on the far side of the grassy island and heaved the ball to the guy, who had to run a bit to catch the ball.

Good thing, 'cause if they counted on you to catch, you'd never be allowed on the field, Ashley said with a laugh, as she reached me. Hey there, Eris. How's your head?

Okay, before I go any farther... Yes, my name is Eris. It's also the name of the Greek Goddess of discord, and it was the only thing that even remotely made sense in my life.

I'm fine, I said. I could feel my face was still red, but I couldn't do anything about it, so I tried to hide it with my hair. This reinventing myself wasn't working.

Hey, do you want to go for a walk? Ashley asked. A bunch of us are bored, as usual. We're going over to Jimmy's to get some drinks and stuff. I'll even make Steve buy you a soda for missing the football.

I... I don't know. I'm not sure, I stammered. The thought of Steve buying me a drink seemed overwhelming. Okay, it might sound absurd to most of you, but I've never had a boyfriend, I can't even talk to guys most of the time. So, having a guy buy me something, even as simple as a soda, seemed like an awful lot to me.

You need to ask your mom? I can go with you, Ashley said and stepped past me to go up the stairs.

I wanted to object, but I couldn't find the words. Besides, if I wanted a new life, I had to start somewhere, right? So, I followed her to the door and let us both in. Mom sat on the sofa drinking a beer and reading the bible—a combination I never could understand.

Mom, Ashley's here, I said and hastily grabbed up a few empty beer bottles from the kitchen table.

Hi Mrs. Payton, Ashley said in her put-on voice. My mom is sending me to the store for some bread. I wanted to know if Eris could walk to the store with me. I don't want to go alone.

The fact that she lied didn't surprise me, but the ease with which she did it completely amazed me. I held my tongue. I always had a difficult time lying convincingly, and I didn't think my mom would let me go anyway. To my surprise, she agreed with a simple, Sure, whatever and a wave of her hand.

Ashley smiled again and turned to me, asking, You ready?

I guess. I said, since I always had my empty wallet in my pocket.

Without another word, Ashley led the way back outside and across the parking lot to her apartment. I followed along like a lost little puppy, still totally amazed at my mom's response. She had only seen Ashley a few times, and hadn't even talked to her before. My mom never let me go with anyone she hadn't personally picked and interrogated, more out of fear of CPS and distrust than actual concern for me.

How did you do that? I finally asked in a hushed tone.

Do what? Ashley said as she grabbed her wallet and keys all chained together and hooked them to her jeans.

Get my mom to agree so easily, I said.

Oh, that... I don't know. Parents just love me, even my own. She rolled her eyes and grinned mischievously while she spoke. Come on. Let's go.

We walked back outside. By that time, four of the guys that had been playing with the football and two other girls that were normally with Ashley had converged in front of Ashley's place. Feeling awkward, I tried to hide behind everyone, but Ashley wouldn't let me. She continued to call attention to me by talking, or prodding my arm, or something. I felt almost like a pet instead of a friend. Walking half in the road and half on the sidewalk, the mass of teens went the mile it took to reach the convenience store, Jimmy's Gas Stop, at the edge of the city limits. Someone had rearranged the letters in the sign so that it actually read Stop Jimmy's Gas.

When we invaded the small store, the old man behind the counter got irritated. I could see his face go from annoyance to burning red with anger as the other kids tossed chips, or snack cakes, across aisles to each other. None of them listened to the poor man until he threatened to call the cops. One of the guys nudged Ashley, and she hollered at everyone to settle down, buy their stuff then wait outside.

It's worse than listening to my little brother scream, she said in complaint, even though she had been involved with the commotion only moments earlier. I can't even hear myself think.

I didn't know who the guy was that urged Ashley to step in. I'd seen him around, but couldn't remember hearing, or even seeing, him talk with anyone. The whole scenario seemed off to me, but something about this guy stuck in my mind. I pushed the thoughts aside when Steve handed me a soda bottle and pocketed his change. Mumbling my thanks and belatedly trying to tell him he didn't have to get it for me, I worked on swallowing the knot in my throat.

Yeah, no problem. It's the least I could do. He smiled as he leaned confidentially closer to me, and I held my breath.

I opened my mouth to say something else, but he had already turned and gone out the door. So, I took a sip of my soda instead and followed one of the other girls outside—certain that my attempted cover-up looked as odd as it felt.

Outside, my comfort level dropped even more. The kids that had finished in the store all stood around, joking, laughing, and occasionally wrestling with each other. I didn't even know their names, other than Steve, and I didn't have the nerve to ask. So, I found an out-of-the-way spot to watch.

Ashley took longer than I thought she should, and I started to look around while I waited. A field bordered the gas station parking lot, and led back to the National Forest that also bordered the apartments. The field seemed normal to me. Like most of the fields around, it only had a sparse covering of wildflowers at best, mostly dandelions or daisies. For some reason the trees that stood silently about a hundred yards back off the road mesmerized me.

Hey, Eris, where you going? Ashley called to me.

Startled, I spun my head to look toward Ashley. That's when I realized that I had wandered into the field about twenty feet without knowing it. I walked back to join the group, who all stared at me. Along the way, I stumbled in a dip on the ground. My face reddened as several of the other kids chuckled.

Where were you going? Ashley asked again. She shook her head, but smiled.

The flowers, I said with a shrug.

I couldn't think of anything else that wouldn't make me look even more dorky than I did. I didn't know why I had walked off. I hadn't even known I was doing it. Thankfully, no one pursued the subject and we slowly made our way back to the apartments. I managed to trail at the back of the pack and sipped my soda in silence.

Before we went far, I looked back over my shoulder at the trees. I couldn't see anything special about them. As I turned forward again, a movement caught my attention from the edge of the trees. Whipping my head back around, my pulse raced, and I strained to see something, anything, but nothing moved. Not even the wind.

Nothing good lurks in shadows. Best stay clear of them trees, girl, said an old lady walking toward Jimmy's.

Where had she come from? The woman stood uncomfortably close, and smelled of alcohol. I knew the smell well. My skin crawled and the hair on my neck stood up. She sniffed and wiped her nose with her dirty sleeve before shuffling away.

I looked up to see that the group of kids had gotten quite a bit ahead of me. I jogged most of the way to catch up, and then just walked fast, trying not to shake up the soda too much. None of them walked fast anyway, which made me wonder how long I had been looking into the trees. They didn't even seem to notice that I had fallen behind.

Well, no one except the odd guy that nudged Ashley in the store. He kept looking at me, but not in the hey I like looking at you way. His attention irritated me. It seemed an odd mixture of curiosity and caution. Not exactly the kind of look I wanted to inspire in anyone, much less an attractive guy. So, I avoided eye contact and pretended he wasn't even there.

I didn't know what it was that drew him to my attention, but I had to find out who he was. If not, it would drive me nuts. He had an oddly compelling presence about him. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered why he wasn't the pack leader instead of Ashley, and why I never heard him spoken to directly in any conversations.

When we finally returned to the apartments, Ashley and one of the other girls walked me to my building, and I pulled up the courage to ask about the silent companion. Who was the guy that nudged you in the store just before you had everyone settle down? I tried to say it as inconspicuous as possible, but somehow, I don't think it worked... it never did.

What guy? No one nudged me in the store, Ashley said nonplussed.

I probably should have dropped it there, but I couldn't. The tall guy, taller than Steve even. He has dark brown hair and blue-green eyes and wore a loose, black t—shirt with a cracked up happy face that said, 'I am no longer a danger to society.'

Ashley's eyes widened, and her voice trembled. There was no one around taller than Steve. You couldn't possibly know that shirt. He's been gone for... You only moved in two weeks ago. You couldn't have seen it. Her hands began to