The Mostly Untold Solo Latin American Adventures of Axy Grace

DEDICATION

To every traveler without a companion,

and every soul mourning a lost love.

CONTENTS

Author’s Note

BASED ON THE TITLE, you might have picked this book up desiring to discover ways to go on a solitary retreat, particularly in Southern America.

Otherwise, you might have predicted that this could be a documentation of one’s journey to overcome grief.

That’s what I’d believed too.

1 Out Of Disrepair

‘ALWAYS EAT OR DO WHAT you wanted, while you still could.’

My late mom reiterated to me in 2018 after she was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer and lost her ability to consume solid food overnight, due to enlarged lymph nodes in her throat. She led a simple low-maintenance life; eating was one of the few activities she enjoyed. Anyone who’s had a medical condition that needed a change in their diet would probably be able to empathize with this, if food mattered to them.

That year, I lost three dear ones within three consecutive months.

In September, my aunt (mom’s older sister whom she was very close to) passed on after fighting cancer for a decade or so.

An ex-colleague turned friend who suffered a previous miscarriage was about to give birth in just a week when she suddenly fell into a coma and did not wake up again. Her birthday was in another two days, on the second last day of October.

A month before Christmas, I woke up to multiple missed calls to find out that my mom had left in the middle of the night hours before. The elevator at the palliative care building was usually extremely slow that everyone had to wait ages for. But when I rushed to the hospital that day, its doors stood wide open on the ground level, as if expecting me.

Although saddened by this series of losses, I did not realize the impact it had on me until one day I snapped at work. Stormed right out of the office disregarding a meeting with external vendors in the afternoon. It was a Friday.

Being a ‘typical Capricorn’, it was out of character for me to be so irresponsible. Up till then, I’d hardly skipped a day from school or work even when unwell.

My department manager spoke to me after I calmed down over the weekend, ostensibly giving me a chance to withdraw my resignation (from a job and company I actually loved very much at that point). Our ‘big boss’ also specially arranged a meeting, asking my plans on how I’m gonna spend my time, jobless from then on. 

Told him I was going to travel for a while. Where to, he asked. 

About four months prior, during the final week of 2018, I spent my time learning how to snowboard in Hokkaido, something I had always wanted to do since I was a teenager. On New Year’s Day in 2019, I drew a divination lot in one of the Shinto shrines.

It contained predictions for various aspects of life, such as health, love, education and so on. For travel, it said: ‘Southward travel is recommended.’

Drawing divination lots or writing down blessings in temples had been a staple ritual for each of my Japan travels since the first time I stepped into the country in 2010, the very first trip overseas alone when I was twenty-three years old. Consequently, things always felt smooth sailing in every year that I visited Japan. Self-fulfilling prophecy perhaps?

As a result, I had been wondering where this ‘South’ would be. Australia? Sri Lanka? Indonesia? South Africa? Either I’d already visited those countries before, or they’re somewhere in my bucket list. But none of these felt right then.

I’m going to South America; I told my boss.

2 Half Of My Heart’s Still In Havana

THE PLAN WAS TO VISIT Cuba for a week in the primary leg of my solo Latin America Adventure.