9 Kinds of Quirky: The 9 Enneagram Types

What is The Enneagram?

Do you wonder why it’s so hard to alter your habits? Have you tried many self-help books, but found few of them actually changed your life in a meaningful way or gave you self-insight? If so, you’re about to have your mind blown in all the best ways. The Enneagram is the best transformative system of inner growth I have ever found. If I had known the stuff about myself years ago I do today, thanks to the Enneagram, I might have salvaged relationships, understood my friends and family better, avoided many of my worst problems, and not wound up a crazy cat lady.

Well. Okay, a cat lady for sure, but maybe not as crazy.

The good thing is, I am on my way to sanity, and so too can you be, once you learn the Enneagram. It’s about why we do what we do, and how to make doing it optional, so you aren’t living in a default functioning mode. That’s what happens when you just do what you normally do, which is to cause yourself pain and trouble. It’s how you repeat mistakes without learning from them, avoid dealing with things you don’t want to face, or shut people out when you could open your heart, mind, and soul. It is how you get fired at work, can’t make a relationship function, or why you struggle to figure out who you are, what you want, and why you are here.

The good news is ... all this is normal.

You’re not nuts and neither is your neighbor. There is hope for you in the freedom that comes with being self-aware. The goal of this book is not to fix you, but to start you on a journey of self-awareness that involves self-acceptance and self-transformation, at your pace, in your own time, by choosing what you want to change in your life.

Finding my type and working on myself has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I am not the person I was twenty years ago, in all the best ways. There were moments of reflection that hurt me, whenever I realized my automatic patterns cost me the things I wanted. I lost friends along the way because I didn’t know myself or them as well as I could have. I missed chances I could have taken, jobs I could have had. As you face moments like this, I encourage you to embrace it. Feel the anguish. Forgive yourself and move on, knowing you will never get caught unaware again.

The Enneagram offers you choices to escape your ego patterns. You get to decide who you want to be, and become the Best Version of Self, which is the one that causes your (and those you love) the least amount of pain. Some changes will be easy; others are hard and take way longer. Fortunately, part of the process is self-observation (without any self-recrimination), so you will learn to defeat those harmful patterns over time, simply by being aware of them and making choices that get easier the more often you do it.

Most Enneagram books tell you how the system came about, but I don’t care about its origins. I just know it works. And I don’t want you to have to learn difficult lingo to use it for yourself, so I tried to make this book as simple to understand as possible while still diving into the good and bad of each type. It’s an abstract theory, so it will be vague—but that’s a plus, since you get to reflect on your life and see whether it fits. Not all I write about a type may fit you, but the important thing is to get the gist and focus of a type, then look for it in yourself or in your loved ones. You won’t know yourself until you’re told why you do what you do, but once you know that, you will see yourself clearly for the first time. It’s exciting, terrifying, and life-altering if you make the choice to work on yourself as a result.

Since your ego is all about protecting you, some of what you read about your type, you won’t assume applies to you, particularly if it is painful. Over time, your ego will confront you with the truth. You will realize one day that trait you claimed you don’t do, you do a lot. It is proof of your type and evidence of maturing within it.

Let’s begin!

Three Ways of Seeing Reality

People have three distinct and meaningful ways of existing in reality. Some trust their instincts, others trust their mind, and the rest filter everything through their identity. These are called the centers.

I give a synopsis of each one below. Some of you may know which method is yours right away, while others won’t. If the latter, it’s okay. You are on a journey of self-discovery. Let it take as long as it needs to for you to find your correct type. There are many ways you may mistype, such as being unable to fully see or accept yourself, having a fantasy self (your imagined self isn’t what you do in reality), or by feeling pressured to reach a premature conclusion.

It’s important to go into this with a transparent and open mind, which can be hard to do, and to see every type as equally good/bad. You will notice that some types, you dislike. You may find your type and feel this is awful! I got the worst one! If so, it isn’t true. No type is better or worse than any other; each has its sins and virtues. This isn’t a judgment about who you are, but a path into your soul.

If you still struggle to find your number even after long reflection, you may be a 6 or a 9. Both easily see themselves in multiple types, and those two types have the most diversity in how they present. 6s are difficult to pin down in a profile, because they imagine the self in many ways, and some 9s (with 8 wings) feel more forceful, direct, and present than their profile suggests.

Image types (2, 3, 4): focus on a way of being seen and seeing if it matches their authentic self. They filter everything through their individual value, which can be genuine/objective, and the pain that arises from that authentic self not being valued or observed by others. They self-edit to match the version of them they know exists inside, and want others to see them as they experience themselves. How they feel about the self and others dictates their actions. Their focus is on belonging and their sense of identity.

Head types (5, 6, 7): experience the world and events through their mind by thinking about and anticipating what may happen, rather than to be merely present to what is really happening. Their brains stay busy trying to understand. They see life as a place that requires them to strategize to ensure they avoid problems and get what they want. Their focus is on doing (they do to avoid living in fear), and on their quick mind and constant stream of thoughts.

Body types (8, 9, 1): experience life through their physical reactions to it and trust what it tells them about what’s right and wrong. They need their actions to align with how they sense it in their body. This is automatic and subconscious and it’s easiest to identify this not with introspection but by noticing what you’re reacting to or against instinctively. They’re aware of others’ attempts to influence them, so they resist being infringed on by asserting their boundaries. They focus on being present. Body types act before they think, and rely on inner guidance to make decisions.

The Individual Types

Here’s a quick overview of the types, in case you see your center right away and want to jump to that section to read more.

The Image Types:

Image types want love from others, so they develop a way to get it built around their self-identity.

2s are loving, warm, kind, and generous. They feel their best self brings happiness to or helps those they care about by focusing on nurturing them with their unique gifts. They want to be valued for their compassionate heart and their selflessness. 2s are sweet, kind, and supportive. They don’t need to try to be more selfless than you, because they already are, which makes them worthy of being loved.

3s are ambitious problem-solvers. They feel their best self strives to self-improve, gets stuff done, hones their sought-after skills, and comes out on top. They are competitive, want to win, and work to improve or develop their preferred qualities or nurture some where none exist. 3s want to be valued for their accomplishments, their adaptability, or their contributions. Being impressive, gifted, highly skilled, or important earns them the love they seek.

4s are emotional, self-centered, and full of longing. They build their identity around their own suffering, because they feel that their most authentic self must excavate their agony to find beauty in their pain. They find value in identifying what no one else can appreciate in the world (no one else understands it the way I do). While others are blissfully unaware of negative emotions, 4s feel they have no choice but to sit with their suffering, shame, death, impermanence, etc. Presenting you with a glimpse of their rare and refined self is how they earn your love.

The Head Types:

Head types want to feel confident in an uncertain world, so they use their minds to interpret reality and plan what to do about it.

5s focus on a few areas of interest in which they become in-depth experts, but others may not know what those are at first, because they’re private. They are observers rather than participants. 5s dig deep to find an angle no one else has found, and excavate it for their own enjoyment, which means they don’t need to share their discoveries. They pride themselves on their unusual perspective and mental depth, even if no one else ever sees it.

6s use self-deprecating humor to equalize themselves with others and look out for everyone’s best interests. They cut down people who are too arrogant and build up anyone who is unfairly hard on themselves. 6s search for the truth by asking questions to understand. Life feels like an uncertain place full of conflicting opinions, so they gather as much data as possible for comparisons. They try to head off trouble before it starts by thinking about it in advance, and pride themselves on their analysis.

7s do not want to live in a world full of hardships, so they look for the potential in every situation by moving past the bad so quickly there’s no time to dive into or sit with it. They assume they can act in a way which makes nice things likely to happen to them, and their optimization will reap rewards so they’re not at the whims of randomness. They are lively, energetic, idealistic, and pursue their numerous interests. 7s hate to feel trapped or bored, so they hunt for excitement. They pride themselves on their ability to get out of awful situations and on how they attract positive attention.

The Body Types:

Body types want to be part of the world without being intruded on, and to get what they want without intruding on others.

8s use their abundant energy to take up space and to power toward their goals. They believe the way to guard themselves is to not allow others to affect them on an emotional level without their consent, so they give free rein to their instinctual toughness. They’re assertive and do not avoid conflict or stating their opinions. In their mind, it is stupid to challenge them, because they defend their turf and mow down any opposition. 8s are forceful and strong-willed.

9s want to live a life where everyone and everything is in total harmony, and no one and nothing disrupts them or anyone else. They notice tensions between the self and others and how others getting what they want intrudes on them, and are hypersensitive. 9s are easily overwhelmed or go numb. Being midrange with their energy is the only way they’re able to feel as if they’re not being too pushy or rigid. 9s seek a state of internal calm by diffusing tension, focusing on the good in others and in the self, and by avoiding the things that upset them. They want to meet others midway, so they compromise to keep the peace without it changing their mind.

1s have an ideal version of things in their mind they try to actualize in reality by looking for ways to perfect it or bring out the good. This makes them attuned to what is wrong, bad, absent, or tragic, and prompts their desire to fix it. They form judgments from a moral slant and feel a need to live up to their high standard. 1s are principled, opinionated about how to do things right, and strive to make sure they are never out of alignment with their ideals.

As you read about the different types, you may notice some profiles possess traits society would deem selfish. Those types either do not judge themselves that way or see selfishness as an asset. If you deem them self-centered, you may be a 1, 2, or a 6. Those are the only numbers with firm beliefs on how others (and themselves) should behave, think, or feel. If the tone of a type does not resonate with you, consider whether it may be self-revealing about your type. All the types have a preference toward similar types to themselves, and a bias against other numbers, because of what they value or dislike in themselves or in others. This is also a clue about your number.

If you’re ready, let’s deep-dive into the centers and the Nine types.

Image Types (2, 3, 4)

Image types want the world to appreciate them for their authentic self, but for them to feel seen, you must witness them in a way that reinforces what they value in themselves; thus, you mirror it back to them and affirm their self-image. To accomplish this means they deliberately and constantly edit the outer self (their appearance, how they dress, act, talk, walk, etc.) and their inner self (choosing which emotions to focus on) to reinforce their preferred traits and erase all that don’t live up to their self-ideal. They see themselves as being on stage and want to show their best self to the audience by altering what they can control to match what they desire for themselves.

They show their value to you through how they act and represent themselves (it’s always on their mind), and by correcting your wrong impressions about them by replacing them with their own narrative. They want you to see them as their finest self and admire it, which keeps them in a recurrent state of self-tweaking to refine their image and externalize what’s held inside.

Being seen matters to them. Image types are aware of how they come across and edit as they go. They draw attention to their talents, virtues, or attributes by amplification and enhancement. This can include altering their appearance or using it to show you who they are through their fashion, possessions, sexuality, or mannerisms.

Even when alone, they feel like they’re on camera, with a genuine self-consciousness Body and Head types can’t relate to, and don’t fully understand. Image types are outside of their body, watching it with the eye of their heart, and know if they turn to the left, the lens will capture their best angle. It is why they take a thousand selfies to get a candid photo, or why they pretend I just wake up looking this good.

No matter how hard they work at showing others their preferred version of self, it never feels right or reflective enough of their heart. They continue to refine and edit it, striving to embody it. If you don’t see them the way they want to be seen, they may or may not show you it again. 2s and 3s will tweak their performance and give it a second attempt, but 4s give you one chance to get it. It’s your loss if you misunderstand; you may not be deep enough to appreciate them, since they don’t want to be valued for anything simple.

Image types filter reality through their identity (their sense of self), which includes the values they hold. It dictates all the choices they make and interacts with their heart’s desire to connect with others in the only way they feel they can, by drawing outside attention and being seen in a way that feels personally significant (that lines up with what they value in themselves). They’re also called Heart types because of their identification with their emotional center, which wants to be valued. They want to create an emotional connection with selected others, and to give them access to the deeper part of themselves. This offering is not for everyone. Just a chosen few.

They want to affect your feelings, to create an emotional narrative or setting, and to pluck at your heartstrings. They decide things with their heart, which knows what it wants and is trustworthy. It filters out everything insignificant, so they can focus on what matters to them. Image types understand how each decision reflects their heart and accumulates over time into their identity, and how their actions show others who they are inside (and how what others do tells them who that person is). Their heart drives them to make the choices they do; to not listen to it is a betrayal of the self. Their feelings make them me, along with their dreams.

A fear of fading into obscurity or being unimportant drives them to prove their worth or significance by taking up space in the world and reinforcing their self-identity (I am here. My image speaks for itself and tells you who I am. I don’t need to prove my worth to you. You either see me or you don’t). They long for others to value their true self (the self underneath their display of why I’m worth noticing), but fear they won’t, so they craft a persona to protect their vulnerable heart from anything that may hurt them where it counts.

This becomes so much a part of their identity, any criticisms that contradict their self-image get rejected. 2s ignore the idea they are anything less than good and pure-hearted, 3s believe they must read the room and do what it says to embody their potential, and 4s find your perspective of them irrelevant compared to their own. All are self-conscious, and are noticing how others respond to their Image. They track every aspect of self for how it reflects a narrative they want others to pick up on, down to the smallest details. It is a full-time job for them to maintain and embody their persona, and they are devoted to it, even when no one else is present to witness it. An Image type will put their best foot forward without an audience there to witness them, because This is who I am.

Image types are aware of being the only one of me in existence and know to connect to others, they must find and bring out into the world something valuable, located only in the self, but what that is varies for each type. One Image type may consider their physical appearance their best asset and work to cultivate it, while others are generous and noble, or prioritize their talents or the value of their work. It is painful to get ignored for an Image type, since it denotes less value. If you don’t see me, who am I? Do I have any worth if you cannot see me?

To avoid going unseen, Image types work hard to draw the kind of attention they want. Nothing they do is without intense scrutiny. They consider it all in the context of the impression it gives, and choose it based on whether it resonates with their inner self. They don’t casually pluck a rose from a hedge and tuck it behind one ear. It’s chosen for its impact. They want what they show you to look effortless, even if a lot of time, energy, money, and self-evaluation went into selecting and practicing it beforehand.

Image types know the world is a stage. They only get one shot at a grand entrance, so they aim for the impression they want every time. Someone who isn’t knowingly managing their Image all day, or isn’t concerned about reinforcing their best traits and weeding out their worst ones isn’t an Image type.

Image Type 2: The Selfless Heart

You’ve never experienced love until a 2 has loved you. They saturate your soul with affection while they kindle your heart and look after all your needs. The warmest and most selfless of the Image types, 2s are loving, charitable, and kind by default. They focus on the best in themselves and in others, and look for ways to encourage, assist, or champion you onward, rather than tear you down with criticism. It does not cross their mind to abandon you in your hour of need, to ignore your cry for help, or to prioritize themselves over you.

They are the first to volunteer their aid and the last to go home. If you need them to take care of your kids, drive you to a doctor’s appointment, help you decide what to wear, or hold you while you cry after a breakup, they will be there for you, ready to love, support, or carry you, with the belief that you are fierce, wonderful, and will emerge from this a stronger, more powerful person.

They greet others with the hopefulness that their love, goodness, devotion, guidance, or help is exactly what this person or situation needs to achieve the best outcome. 2s must heal, soothe, and make better whomever and whatever they meet that triggers an emotional response in them. If they see a need, they want to fill it then and there. It feels right to do so; a good person would answer this need, and because they are a good person, they do it without hesitation.

Since they’re in tune with anticipating and meeting others’ needs, 2s know what you need before it even crosses your mind and show up with it. They can’t ignore a need if they see it from those they care about, so they rush in to be of help, come to the rescue, or to provide guidance, financial assistance, or emotional support. 2s assume someone who is hurting, suffering from self-doubt, or has a need is theirs to love and care for, so they take in that person and provide a loving environment for them to flourish. If they have two hands and a heart, it feels wrong not to use it to brighten your day or to fix a problem. When 2s define a particular action as kind, it is kind forever in their minds, and kindness is who they are inside.

Because of their enormous hearts and great capacity for love, 2s willingly sacrifice themselves and their own needs for those around them. Others’ needs are the needs of the 2; they identify with them. Many 2s choose to give up their happiness because others are their purpose. They take pride in how they fully embody love by being its physical agent in the world. They are idealistic, cheerful, emotional, easily touched by happiness or suffering, and feel as if they are here to ease the needs and grief of others, through loving them in a way that is special to the 2’s particular gifts and talents.

2s are the bedrock of society; they are always trying to do good in society or for the people they love. Not everyone receives their help, because to share their gifts with everyone makes them less special. Raising money for causes, volunteering, bringing food to funeral potlucks, making cookies for children to sell to raise money for their school fund, being alluring to their partner and providing for all their sexual needs... in whatever way they feel they can contribute for the betterment of life, 2s give of their talents, expertise, money, efforts, or time freely.

They look for ways to show people how much they love and care about them with action, because in their mind, to show and speak love is the truest form of love. They want to be selfless, generous, compassionate, and easily express their feelings. It is vital for them to be in a romantic relationship where they feel needed, to be seen taking care of their loved ones, or to feel appreciated for their efforts and attentiveness to a partner. This can be a trap for them, because it implies being loved depends on what they do. 2s are drawn to those that need them, but it’s rarely good for them; deep down, they want to be appreciated for who they are, not what