The Ferret and the Fossa: FUC Academy, #29

1

Hey, don’t hate on the lifestyle! I’m completely content with living the single life, Harriet!

Hmm, then why don’t you sound so convincing, Carol?

"Is it my fault that everyone has been flaking out on me with these tickets to go see Cats? I’ve been dying to see Cats on Broadway, and it’s not like your hunka-hunka hot prince wouldn’t fly you to New York in a heartbeat!" 

Carol made an exaggerated frown on her lips while on FaceTime with Harriet to truly signify her disappointment at the situation, but Harriet still wasn’t buying it. 

I get you are upset about it, but the timing is bad. I can’t just take off. SHIT is coming up soon, and I’ve got to work out the security deets. Honestly, I’m surprised Stan isn’t making you come for this one.

Why? Do you get the impression he’ll assign me? Carol’s eyes widened, and her mouth went agape. The Shifter Hellenic Island Talks—SHIT for short—had been quite eventful these past few years, and who knew what might happen at this one. Stan—the Furry United Coalition Newbie Academy point of contact for the talks—had yet to approach Carol about possibly attending this year, but Carol couldn’t help but feel excited at the prospect of traveling to Skyros to see her friends. I mean, it’s been dull here lately, and I’m dying to see you before the holidays. I miss ya, girl!

As I said, I’m surprised he hasn’t already. One of the Madagascar Fossa Leaders has gone missing.

God, I hope I don’t have to babysit someone! Carol scrunched up her nose. Then, with a chuckle as she thought about Harriet’s SHIT assignment, Carol added, I don’t need Stan fixing me up.

Would that be such a bad thing?

Carol made a clucking sound, followed by a sigh. Harriet, that’s a horrible idea!

Isn’t it time to get back on the horse? I mean, it’s been six months.

No, it’s not time to get back on the dating horse—maybe ride one, but that’s it.

Well, you should consider putting yourself out there again. You’ve been wound too tight lately.

Harriet!

What? her friend replied, shrugging over their video chat. You didn’t think I’d say anything? Come on! You were the one that told me I needed to get laid right before I met Lear. And you’ve laid witness to that turning out well. I’m merely returning the favor. You’ve got to get back out there and forget all about Dick.

DICC? Carol asked, confused at the quick subject change from dating to work. Harriet, I haven’t required a Data Imagery and Communications Collector in months.

I meant your ex, Richard. Wasn’t his nickname Dick?

Oh, yeah. Duh, that made more sense. She’d done such a good job putting the man out of her mind that she hardly thought about him even when someone brought him up. I guess he’s been called Dick before.

Ya think? Harriet retorted with a sigh. I’m sorry he cheated on you, and I get you figured he was the one. But it’s time to move on six months is long enough to sulk about a jerk like him. And I don’t mean your casual dating stuff with the locals around FUCN’A. That town is so tiny I’m sure you’ve been through the dating pool! And it’s not like you can date the very hot cadets, what with fraternizing being frowned upon… Not like that stopped anyone.

Carol let out a long breath before saying anything else to her bestie. The truth was Harriet was right. Carol needed to move on. Lately, with that prick named Dick out of the picture and with her friends—Harriet and Treasure—living with their men in Skyros and Madagascar, Carol was utterly alone. And alone was never good for a ferret. Carol’s kind craved companionship. Many times, when she’d felt like this in the past, she’d find a guy willing to go for a roll with no strings attached. It allowed her to experience some sensation other than being numb.

But Harriet was right. There weren’t many men to pick from in this tiny mountain town, and she’d be lying to herself if she tried to say she was okay with that.

You are right, Har—you are—but it’s too hard. It’s probably best to be a crazy cat lady at this point—one that has an extra ticket to a musical.

Now I know you’ve been alone for too long! Harriet exclaimed, shaking her head. That’s it. It’s settled. You’re getting out of that academy—out of BC!—and you are coming to Skyros and helping me with this case. I’ll notify Stan.

But—

No buts! I really can use the help! Plus, with the rumors flying around that Zagan might be to blame for new disappearances, I want to make sure we’ve got the best FUCs out there on the job.

So you really think Zagan is back? Carol asked, lowering her voice to a serious tone. That man had done more than his fair share of harm to the royal family in Skyros, not to mention the people attending the talks, but he was presumed dead now. I mean didn’t Teo make him swim with the fishes?

People of royal blood have gone missing again, and we can’t rule him out. Not when his body wasn’t recovered and especially knowing that the Talks are when he likes to act out. It’s definitely one of Zagan’s MOs.

MO? Mode of Service? Carol’s brows knitted as she was looking at Harriet on FaceTime. We haven’t used those old scooters on campus in a long while, Harriet. People kept falling off of them.

No! Modus operandi! Harriet shook her head and slapped her palm on her forehead. She was used to Carol’s habit of assuming all acronyms had something to do with FUCN’A, though no one knew if she really meant it or just took every opportunity to tease. MO as in someone’s habitual way of operating!

Sure, sure, now I get it. Carol snickered, loving every chance she had to fluster her normally cool-headed friend. Those moments were so rare now that Harriet lived an ocean away. That fact had Carol sighing. I miss you. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. I really don’t want to take on a babysitting assignment, but it will be great to hang with you. And I know your SHIT is crucial to you.

Then it’s settled. I’ll call Stan in the morning and send the personal royal family jet to FUCN’A to get you here sooner rather than later.

You don’t have to do that, Harriet. I’ll be fine flying coach.

Nonsense! I’m not missing an opportunity to pamper my girl!

Carol still wasn’t used to having friends in high places, but she knew better than to try to talk the hare out of it once her mind was set!

2

I’m telling you, Stan, she’ll be a perfect fit for this job. Rayan is a bit of a challenge to work with, and Carol excels with challenges.

The fossa? Stan growled, casting a glance at the phone on his desk. Harriet’s voice came at him over speakerphone, yet he could still imagine the stubborn look she undoubtedly gave him. Yeah, Rayan is an impossible loner.

"Which is why Carol would be a great fit! She got me to open up. Imagine how good she’d be at cracking the fossa, which would be a great benefit to us figuring out what happened to his father."

You’re not wrong, Stan replied with a sigh. But I’m not convinced sending more FUCN’A staff over to Skyros is the best decision. I’ve already lost two of you, Harriet.

Oh, come on, Stan! This isn’t about you losing agents or staff. You have plenty of cadets lining up to work under you! This is about you disliking your new reputation for being a FUCN’A cupid. But look at it this way. This time, I’ll be right by your side, aiding you with the matchmaking.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Harriet, Stan warned. Carol is pretty strong-willed herself.

Which again makes her perfect for this assignment! Harriet continued, her voice holding the note of excitement that told him the hare was already set in her decision. Carol will put Rayan in his place. He needs it since he’s always dodging his BS—Bonafide Security—"and he will have no choice but to listen to Carol because she refuses to be ignored. It’s really the best scenario to keep him safe. With his father, King Serge, missing, we need the reclusive heir to Sambaina’s territory to actually work with us and not end up missing, too."

You are right, and all of this makes sense, Stan conceded while rubbing his temples to soothe his oncoming headache. But where does this leave me? You’re not wrong about me having this matchmaking cupid reputation now. People are leaving me letters, begging me to set them up, and they’re sending lots of—he swallowed, conscious of not wanting to sound like the drama llama from down the hall, not Alyce Cooper, FUCN’A director, but Richard Anderson, who could sure spit his words when he got worked up—"chocolates! You do remember how I can’t resist anything sweet. I think I’ve gained twenty-five pounds since this semester started. It’s truly