Practical FLR: Lessons For A Female Led Relationship: Practical FLR, #1

Introduction

Hello everyone! I am pleased to be writing a book about female-led relationships, why they are necessary, and how you can have incredibly fulfilling and lasting relationships where the passion never dies, and the sex life is always magical, fun, and exciting. Why female-led relationships opposed to male-led relationships? Because female-led relationships bring in more emotional connections and intimacy based on trust and communication. With this understanding, the relationship has the ability to soar to new levels, many never thought possible in male-led conventional relationships.

This book is not about women’s superiority to men. It is not about female supremacy. It is about giving women the power they deserve.

Why Female Led Relationships? Lesson 1

In today's world, we see massive relationship problems all over the place. Divorce rates are high, single rates are even higher, and only a few relationships are seen as truly happy. Well, there is a secret out there that can change the face of many relationships currently existing or help create new ones to start and flourish where the passion never dies.

That secret is men's desire. It’s not a well-kept secret that men are led by their desires and usually slaves to them in all the wrong ways. This is why we see rapes and the victims being blamed for the clothes she was wearing rather than the male admitting and accepting responsibility for their own desire being the true culprit.

Men are not taught in sex education classes how to handle their own desire, no, they’re taught to put a condom on a banana to keep healthy and prevent babies.  What they are not taught is that they can channel that desire for other activities, for creative endeavors, or for enhancing the passion and intimacy within a relationship.  Men have the ability to use their desire for the betterment of all, rather than on selfish needs.

Women in general are more in touch with their bodies, and are not led by desire in the same way that men are, they don’t require sex in order to be intimate with someone, sex has its thrills yes, but it is not the end goal, the end goal is about intimacy and love and nurture, with sex being a part of that.  In many relationships today, sex lives are routine and boring, lacking passion and intimacy, and so the relationship stagnates as a result, which also usually comes with a lack of proper communication.

This is where female led relationships come into play.  A female led relationship, is a simple concept.  It does not mean it has to involve kink or even D/s to any extreme.  It can yes, there are different levels of female led relationships, which will covered in later lessons.  However, right now I want to focus on just the idea of a female led relationship, without making it appear strange or weird in any way, so that everyone can understand what it is.

A female-led relationship is one where the woman helps a man understand his desire to help him be more intimate, passionate, trustworthy, faithful, and above all, loving. Any male serious about being in a long-term relationship would be wise to listen to what she has to say and practice what she asks before judging it. A female-led relationship is about communication, open, honest, and genuine communication, and the willingness of both partners to be the best they can be.

The Return of Chivalry. Lesson 2

Female-led relationships bring back chivalry and turn it into a lifestyle. Boys at a young age are taught to respect women, to open doors for them, have manners, pull out a chair for her, and overall, treat her like a princess. And most men follow these lessons right up until they begin to date a woman. The first couple of dates a man will court a woman, and just about all women find this incredibly flattering. They love it, and it’s often the deciding factor if that man is worthy of a second, third, or fourth date.

Yet something happens. After several dates and the relationship has become sexual, the courting gets less. It may last for several months, but sooner or later, it begins to decline as the relationship progresses, and before you know it, the woman in the relationship is now the one that is supposed to be cooking meals, doing the laundry, and cleaning the house. The chivalry has died, and the initial attraction often wanes, and certain doubts begin to make, usually the woman, question the status of the relationship.

So how does a woman go from being courted, doors held open for her, and her needs and desires being attended to suddenly being the cook and cleaner of the house, as we see in so many relationships today?  What changed? Where did the chivalry attitude go? Why isn’t that chivalry attitude always maintained as a part of his personality? Boys growing up are taught chivalry, and girls growing up are taught to be princesses, yet as we age, those roles appear to reverse, and the woman becomes the chivalrous one, making him meals and cleaning up after him. Yet this has become normal. Why?

It is because once sex has become a part of the relationship, his desire to treat a woman in a chivalrous way wanes because it was his desire to be chivalrous in the first place. Once sex occurs, the desire fades. Once he knows he can get it when he wants it, including masturbation while in the relationship, his desire plummets to low levels of routine orgasms, which takes away the need for chivalry. It also takes away much intimacy and passion out of the sex life, which is why so many relationships have stale sex lives. So now, how does the chivalry return? How do we revert back to the times when a man had a desire to court a woman, to attend to her needs and desires, like he once did at the beginning?

This is where a female-led relationship comes into play. Men desire women, this is no secret. Courting and chivalry prove it. All a woman must do to determine if a man is worthy of being in a relationship with her is to make him wait for sex. Make him abide by the rules he learned as a boy, so that ladies always come first. That includes in the bedroom.

Just by following this one simple rule, every time sex occurs, he will always have the desire to make sure she is satisfied. And by making him wait, as long as the woman deems necessary, she decides when sex is possible, which means he will always be chivalrous and in courting mode. Or he will grow frustrated, and he knows where the door is. This is how a woman knows if he is worth it or not. She doesn’t have to assert any kind of dominance over him, nor does he have to be submissive. This is about bringing about the natural urges of desire men and women have out and the lessons we learned as children, and discovering that we are much happier for it.

Vanilla Female-Led Relationships. Lesson 3

Contrary to what mainstream media has portrayed female dominance to be, female-led relationships are not the same thing. While a female-led relationship does focus on a woman’s ability to be a leader, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she must dominate her male partner to be in a successful female-led relationship.

The social normal portrays women to be objects of men's sexual desire, and so this has many men seeing their desires instead of her beauty.  So when a woman is broken down by a male’s own desire, it is only her body that becomes his focus, and so, as a result, men chase women, and once they have had her body in a sexual way, the woman loses her value to some degree in his eyes. We see this by the use of hookers and by the porno industry, one night stands. How many women out there are wondering what’s going on with their man after a few dates? So women are broken down to their sexual worth to a man and often tossed aside once that worth has been spent.

Now I am not trying to insult or bring men down by saying these things. These things happen every day, and they are by no means subtle. It is not men’s fault. It is the conditioning of society that keeps men enslaved by their own desire and their lack of knowledge on how to free themselves from it. A female-led relationship can come in very handy here. When a woman knows her own worth and makes a man wait for sex until she’s truly ready and able to open up to him in trust, she has the power to help him see beyond his own desire and to see her beauty. He gets to know her personality before sex, and this enables more chemistry to build up, which means more intimacy and passion will enter the relationship.

When a woman screens men in this way, she filters out all those men who cannot see beyond their desire and only want her for sex. This is a woman in control, yet not being dominant at all. She is simply refusing sex, which is her right, until she’s ready, and she will not be pressured. If she is, she is strong enough to tell him that they aren’t compatible, and she knows her own worth is greater alone than having a partner that doesn’t compliment her self-worth. When a woman does meet a man that goes the distance, then the framework for a successful relationship has already begun with a solid foundation and open communication.

Another thing a woman can do is tell him that he doesn’t get an orgasm until she does, ensuring that she is sexually satisfied, instead of just him. If he is serious about her, this will be something he will be happy about, and it’s another test for her to determine if he is a good match, and she can continue to do this every time sex occurs. It happens too often that men orgasm before their women, and once they have, she usually remains unsatisfied, and we’ve all known women that have never even had an orgasm before!

A female-led relationship makes it so it is not only about men's desire but also about women's. It brings about a balance between them, and this helps them understand each other on a deeper level, a level that breaks through the communication barriers and the social conditioning, to create a relationship based on love rather than sex. Intimacy, passion, trust, honesty, and communication become the forefront, the foundation, the lowest level from which the relationship sits. Which means it can soar to untold heights, beyond what most people ever experience. All it takes is a gentle, vanilla, female-led relationship to make all the difference in the world.

Intimacy. Lesson 4

Many relationships only have a surface level of intimacy, which usually duals as foreplay. The intimacy is short-lived, and after sex it must be built up again over time, which continues the cycle of the foreplay / sex routine, which more often than not results in a boring sex life and a lack of connection in a relationship. How many couples out there experience their partner often not in the mood? It’s incredibly common, and it's disastrous to a healthy sex life and overall a happy relationship.

A female-led relationship changes all of that very quickly. A female-led relationship turns it around and makes intimacy more important than sex. As a result, intimacy and foreplay become two entirely different things. As mentioned in previous lessons, the key to intimacy is to make a man wait until the woman is ready to have sex, which means he is going to have to get intimate with her. So what is intimacy?

It’s very similar to chivalry, except it has a much more personal touch and personal connection. Holding hands is the start of it, and then it morphs into much greater things, such as simply cuddling without sex afterwards or even the expectation of it. Just being close to each other physically develops intimacy. There is also intimacy in laughter. Making her laugh and her making him laugh develops great bonding, and makes the connection between them more likely to develop further. As the relationship grows, the intimacy deepens, where their personalities blend and mix, and they get a feel for each other.

Intimacy comes in many forms, including massages, foot rubs, running her a bath, and even doing acts like chores around the house or yard even when not asked to do so. Intimacy is about effort. A man who puts in effort, without sex being his ultimate goal, will be instantly recognized and appreciated by a woman, and the more attentive to her needs he becomes, the more she will want to take the relationship further, into foreplay and sex.

So, all it takes is effort. This is an effort that never dies, at any point in the relationship, and it only gets deeper and deeper as it goes, the more they get to know each other. A woman in a female-led relationship will recognize quickly the moment that effort dies down and will question what’s going on, and through open communication about any issues that arise, they will figure it out and solve it. Intimacy is a big topic, and it will be coming back again in other lessons. This is just the basics of it and why it’s important for a healthy relationship where the connection between each other never dies.

Emotional Intelligence. Lesson 5

Lesson 4 explored intimacy and how to cultivate it and why it’s important to a relationship. We