Reality Check

Chapter One

DAMN IT, LEE, HOLD her down! cried Cecil, from the floor where the woman flung him. His dark eyes flashed anger, glaring at me, rather than her, as he struggled to pull himself to his feet.

Our middle-aged test subject slapped at my hand on her shoulder as I shot looks of exasperation in Cecil's direction. I glanced over at Dionne... or rather, at her desk, where I could see only the crown of her honey-blond head as she hid behind it.

What is this place? Who are you creeps? Let me go! shrieked the test subject.

I felt uncomfortable holding her in place. We had no right to detain her, but we had to know what happened to her before she ran off. And in this crazy state, I doubted it was a good idea to let her run amok.

But at what point does this become kidnapping?

P-please calm down, ma'am, I said, we're just as confused as you are, we're trying to help!

"Help? Help? One minute, I'm driving my smilus down the way, going to the store, and pop! The next thing I know, you white-coated people have me stuck in a chair with wires attached to my head! Let go. Let go or I'll scream!"

No one will hear you... began Cecil, dusting himself off and straightening his lab coat. The walls...

"Shut up, Cecil! I hissed, letting go of the poor woman's shoulder. Cecil looked on with his mouth set in an O of disbelief as the woman sprang out of the chair and ripped the virtual reality circlet off of her head. I winced as the expensive computer peripheral clattered on the floor. I'm sorry, ma'am, my friend is being overly dramatic..."

Overly dramatic! he cried. Overly dramatic, Lee? We've had three seriously disoriented play-testers today, this one acting like she has rabies, and you think I'm overly dramatic because I want her to stop screaming at us?

Both the woman and I yelled at Cecil at the same time, but neither of us got anything coherent out before we were cut off.

Please, just stop, Dionne's soft voice demanded attention, despite her quiet delivery.  She rose from behind her desk, her hands clutching the edge, her eyes round. Look. No one is going to hold you here, miss, um, Ackerman...

James. It's Anna James, said our test subject.

Miss... James? You signed in here as Ackerman.

Let me see that, said Anna, stepping toward the desk. Dionne took three steps backward, back against the closed door. Cecil circled around to stand next to her. I stayed over near the play-tester.

Anna grabbed up the clipboard and studied the form. Well, that's strange. How did you forge my handwriting? My name's not Ackerman, it's James! She flipped her hair out of her face as she looked up at me to demand, Where's my husband?

I looked at Dionne, who shook her head. I glanced at Cecil.  He glared back at me from under bushy eyebrows. I looked back at the play-tester and said, You came here alone. You signed the paper as 'single' and listed your mother as the Emergency Contact. Should we call her?

I have a better idea, we should call the constables, said Anna, who raised a wrist and started talking to her watch. Com! Emergency call, please send help to this location!

No one moved or spoke for a half a minute. Another round of glances didn't help.

Com! Answer me. Com?

Ma'am? Does your watch usually answer? Dionne asked in a gentle tone.

"Watch? Watch what? It's a Com! Everyone has one! she looked at the watch in surprise. Damn it! Where's my Com?"

You mean, like a cell phone? offered Dionne.

A what? No, you idiot, a Com. Cee-Oh-Em. Com. You get them in Primschool.

By some unspoken agreement, the three of us raised our arms to show our bare wrists.

Anna sank back into her chair and stared at me awhile. She turned back to Dionne and said, If you could com my mom? she paused and added, please?

Dionne caught my eye and tossed her cell phone at me. The phone bounced off one of my ham hands and flipped into the air. I snatched it with the other hand, slid it open and presented it to Anna.

She didn't take it from me. Is this some kind of joke? That's a baby's toy.

I met her eyes, not sure if she was serious. Her narrowed eyes told the story. I couldn't think of anything else to do but say, Uh, maybe it's not a smartphone, but it has numbers. You can call your mom.

Anna looked at me like I had offered her a banana and called it a phone. She took it anyway. Hello? she said to the phone, not touching the keys. Hello mom?

Oh for God's sake, spat Cecil. Just push the numbers and 'call' to call home, okay?

Dionne shushed him.

Anna looked back at me. It doesn't work.

I drew in a breath and let it out. Okay, let's back up. What do you think it will do?

Anna ignored Cecil, but talked to me like a child. If it's some kind of Com, it should know me and do what I tell it to. You know, if I ask for mom, I get mom. If I say I want some pizza, some gets mailed to me. If I need to go somewhere, a car shows up and takes me there.

Cecil said, Where do you come from, sweetie? Beverly Hills?

Dionne swatted Cecil and he winced. Some nasty little part of me rejoiced.

From what-ity-what? asked Anna, looking over at Cecil. I'm from right here in Ouiatnon.

Someone's not in Kansas anymore.

Ma'am... I was cut off by our play-tester.

Don't you call me that! It's Anna!

Fine. Anna, you seem to have reacted badly to the game, you're in a confused state, maybe hallucinating.

Damn right I'm hallucinating! None of this makes sense. Maybe it's a bad rez. If this is a game, then I quit. With that, she stood up and slapped Dionne's phone on the desk. I'm out of here.

Cecil and I each took a step toward Anna, but Dionne held out an arm to block Cecil, and stopped me with a warning look. Her eyes always stopped me.

All right, but please sign this release before you go, okay? Dionne slid a clipboard and pen across her desk for Anna to see.

The play-tester picked up the pen and made some kind of movement, turning red in the face. Ack, this has goop in it, it made a mark on my skin! She dropped the pen on the floor as though it had sprouted a thousand squirming legs.

Huh.

Dionne examined the mark and shrugged. Good enough. Here's your purse, Anna. Please call us when you're thinking clearer. Can we call you a cab? She elbowed Cecil, who pulled out his own phone and dialed.

Anna burst into tears, nodding. She played with the leather purse's strap and pulled her fingers away in revulsion. "Ugh, is this made of something dead?"

Dionne caught my eye and pointed with a quick jerk of her chin. I followed where she pointed and grabbed up an empty box on the floor and put the purse in it and folded the flaps shut. Anna held the box at arm's length like she thought something might crawl out of it at any moment.

As Dionne took Anna's arm to lead her to the door, Anna dropped the box containing her purse, her eyes fluttered and she went limp, falling to the floor like wet laundry. Dionne bent over her, and I rushed to help. Dionne put her face close to Anna's and touched the side of the woman's neck while I arranged Anna so she lay flat on her back.

Well, she's breathing, she has a pulse, probably just fainted, said Dionne.

Anna's eyes fluttered again and opened wide, focusing on Dionne, then me. What? What happened?

I was taking you to catch a cab, and you fainted, said Dionne.

A cab? Why? My car's right outside... did parking services tow me or something?

You couldn't get your... uh, Com... to work, I suggested, to jog her memory.

My what? Was that something from the game that I didn't figure out?

Dionne and I exchanged another look.

I heard Cecil fake a cough on the other side of the desk. I'm sure it wasn't a mistake that it sounded like he was coughing out, Drama queen!

Everyone ignored him.

So, did I do well, did I get a good score in the game? Why am I lying on the floor? Anna sat up and grabbed at the strap of her purse, which dangled from the now open flaps of the box on the floor next to her. She hauled it out of the box and dug out her phone. "Oh my, I've been here an hour? I have to get home, I've got a date tonight!"

"What will your husband think?" snarked Cecil.

My what?

Never mind. Let me help you up, said Dionne, who had just risen to her feet. I rose too.

Anna took her hand, and I had to help steady her as she stood. Anna brushed us off. I'm fine, I'm fine. I think your game needs work, guys. I'm okay now, but I was kind of dizzy there for a moment. But wow, I've never seen such graphics! I didn't really get what I was supposed to do, though.

What did you see? asked Dionne.

Well, it was like I was really there! I could feel the seat under my butt, I could smell some kind of air freshener in the... well, it was a flying car. It seemed to fly itself. I'm glad it did, because I didn't even see any controls. Not much happened, I just whizzed along over the treetops. I saw other flying cars ahead of me, behind me, above me, too. Oh, and there were voices. The car talked, my watch talked. The voices changed, sometimes it sounded like people reading text messages aloud to me. I think that's where I was supposed to do something, but I was afraid I'd tell the car to crash by mistake. Did I do okay?

Either she's a great liar, or we're on to something, growled Cecil.

"She's right here, Cecil. Manners!" scolded Dionne.

And again, I got to be the good boy in Dionne's eyes. At least compared to Cecil. My inner jerk did a fist pump no one could see.

Anna said, "Lying? Why would you say that? It's your simulator. I think I'll wait until you get the bugs worked out before trying again, though, thanks!"

Dionne curved her lips into a tight little nervous smile and nodded. As long as you're okay?

Anna brushed imaginary dust off her slacks and checked her purse. Sure, I'm okay, just a little confused for a moment. The transition needs to be less abrupt, I think. It's like... once, when I was seven, I was sleepwalking and my mom shook me awake. I was so confused. This was just like that. Maybe you should get chairs with arms so people don't fall out of it when they get into the game?

Hmm, good idea, thanks for the suggestions, Anna.

Anna looked around at each of us and took a few steps toward the door and paused, looking back at us. I realized the three of us had been staring at her. I'd probably be freaked out too, if I were in her place.

None of us moved to stop her, so Anna made a quick wave and flashed a smile that didn't reach her eyes and let herself out.

Holy shit, cried Cecil. The damned thing works!

Chapter Two

DIONNE REMAINED COOL and clinical. "And it worked far more than we expected. Guys, it did something to her, it changed her, the simulation lasted for nearly fifteen minutes after the EEG-inducer was removed. She turned to look at me. The intensity of her gaze made me take in a breath. Lee, could it really induce an EEG field that far away? Even in theory?"

I shook my head. Naw, brain waves travel maybe inches, not feet.

She turned her head to face Cecil, And the reality simulator? Is it possible that the effects could be so lasting?

Cecil shook his head. No way. This lady was tripping out. She even said she had no idea what things were for in the simulation. But whoever she was for a few minutes sure did.

Dionne pursed her lips and thought a moment. So... short-lived amnesia and hallucinations? Fugue state?

I think it might have been something else, I began. As the other two turned to wait for me to go on, I regretted saying anything. I didn't want to share my idea; it was too crazy.

What? they said in unison.

Well, I began, with reluctance, I think she really went somewhere, and whoever was there, came here. Just for a little bit.

Cecil rolled his eyes.

Dionne attempted a poker face, but I saw laugh lines appear at the corners of her eyes. Great, I'm amusing her now.

I felt my face warm.  Well, silly as it sounds, does that theory explain what's happened?

Dionne frowned.  Well, quantum computing is still pretty much the Wild West... and we've got a 256 quad-qubit processor computer powering our little game...

Cecil snorted. "Are you saying something wonky's going on with my design, babe?"

She wrinkled her nose at him. I'm saying that the theory is shaky at best, so spooky things happening in a largely untested system...

Untested! You know how grueling testing was!

I chuckled. Before we added my EEG circlet, Q-T was mostly pretending to be dorks on the Internet for months. Its big claim to fame was ruling the comments on Fark.

Cecil showed his teeth as he laughed. Come on. That's impressive, passing tens of thousands of Turing tests daily, convincing people it was all kinds of different people.

It's true, Lee, said Dionne, turning a hand palm-up at one elegant wrist, Q-T won the Bloggies for 'Insightful Commentary on the Human Condition' before we disconnected it from the Internet. It kind of creeped me out, if I'm being honest.

I looked over at the rack containing the quantum computer. Wisps of misty condensation from boiling liquid nitrogen seeped out of vents. The mist, combined with the irregular flashing of thousands of multicolored LEDs within the rack made an almost organic pulsing halo around it. What was this thing capable of?

"I still think we should have gone with Deep Thought for its name, said Cecil. I think we'd have gotten better grant money than Cutie has."

The published article said 'Quantum-Turing' computer, the nickname came out of the Internet and stuck, I said, jumping to defend Dionne's decision on the name. Besides, we don't want Douglas Adams' ghost haunting us. Or the lawyers of his estate, hmm?

Dionne stared at me, then after several beats, laughed. Sometimes, I swear she's an artificial intelligence herself. Maybe that's why my heart beats faster when she looks in my eyes. That must be it, mind control lasers in her cybernetic retinas! I smiled back at her, and we shared a warm moment.

"So, when are we scrapping the Cutie, then?" Cecil's words tore the moment in two, and we both started to protest at once.

Cecil held up a hand and held up a finger. Look. That thing's dangerous. We had that one guy who just screamed for five minutes after we shut it off...

I can fix that! I interrupted.

Cecil ticked off another finger. "...then there was Dionne's grad student who had a bad case of aphasia a couple of hours afterwards..."

To be fair, said Dionne in a low voice, that happened to him at the Christmas party after too many 'candy cane' shots.

A third finger was held up. "And now, for an even more fascinating case, we have Dissociative Fugue Lady of the Future. Flying cars! Wheeeee! I gotta get me one of those bad boys!"

So, it's got a few bugs, I said, spreading my hands out in front of me, looking at each of my friends in turn. It's also the most amazing thing any of us has created. Let's keep working on it.

Dionne nodded but a familiar vertical line appeared between her eyebrows. I agree, Lee. But, Cecil's right, it is dangerous. What if someone comes out of the game thinking she's Napoleon, and it doesn't wear off? What if someone gets hurt?

What if we get our asses sued off, you mean, sneered Cecil.

I sighed. The University's lawyers cooked up that liability waiver, and even still, we're not personally at risk...

...Except for our careers! Imagine what happens to us if something goes really wrong and there is a big, famous lawsuit. Dionne'll be busted back to teaching Physics for Liberal Arts Majors. I'll be lucky if I get a second tier tech support job. And you... I guess you could fall back on your auto repair skills, wearing a greasy jumpsuit with your name stitched over the pocket, replacing brakes on minivans...

I shrugged. Done it before, it's not a bad job. I'm not too proud to get my hands dirty.

My point is, there's risk a-plenty, buddy.

So let's not risk it on volunteers. I'll sign the waiver and test it out myself. I'm not afraid.

Dionne and Cecil looked at each other, then back at me. No, they said in unison.

What? Why not?

Dionne jumped in before Cecil could speak. Lee, you're too important to the project to risk. If you go...

Cuckoo-bananas? supplied Cecil.

Well, yes, if you lose your mind in the name of...

Science? I said.

Dionne pursed her lips. There's risking your life to test a life-saving vaccine, Lee, and then there's risking your sanity to make a better World of Warcraft engine.

I'm sold! Sign me up! crowed Cecil, slapping me on a shoulder. Despite his sarcasm, I laughed and pretended to sock him in slow motion. He went with the old joke and staggered backwards, also in slow motion, carefully collapsing in a heap in the test subject chair. His shoe connected with the EEG circlet. It skittered away from him and bounced off the Q-T rack.

Dionne just watched us, arms folded, expressionless. I had an image of her in khakis and a pith helmet, Jane Goodall among the primates. What's that make me? Ook ook, baby!

Are you almost done, boys? Because we still have to decide what to do next.

I did my best Yoda impression. Told you, I did, hmm?

That made her laugh. And told you, we did. I just don't want anything bad to happen to you, Lee.

I had to go fetch the EEG circlet just then. Maybe the pulsing colorful mist surrounding the Q-T would cover the color rushing to my face. She cares about me!

Yeah, no way anyone can figure out the spaghetti wiring you've done in that monster if you trip out, big guy.

I put my hands to my face and made a farting noise in Cecil's general direction. The mists around me glowed and flickered and swirled. I felt a tingle as I touched the circlet. It's still turned on.

I toyed with it in my fingers, feeling a buzzing in the nerves of my hands, my wrists, like a growing static charge. Excitement welled up in me. I gripped it tighter and the electric sensation intensified, and spread up to my elbows, like long gauntlets made of angry bees.

Lee? What's wrong? said Dionne, taking a step toward me.

I shook my head. I'm fine, just hang on a minute.

Cecil stood up. Dude. Lee. Seriously no.

Sorry. I have to try it, and with that, I jammed the circlet on my head and the world went away.

SOMEONE KISSED ME. Passionately. She pressed against me, hands clasped behind my neck, pulling me down into her warm embrace. She smelled of warm honey and spice. I was standing and she leaned into me, pressing me against a wall, the heat of her body made mine react. Or rather, I joined the scene in progress; evidently I'd already been reacting. She came up for air and pulled back to grin at me. A familiar face stared at me from under a ridiculous tiny costume hat made of shiny orange satin and bronze metal rings. Her lips were deep crimson. Little mechanical pocket watch gears cascaded, dangling from her earlobes.

Holy shit, it's Dionne!

What's the matter, love? she whispered in a husky voice I'd never heard from her. Having second thoughts?

N-no, not at all... I'm just... why not go with the truth? Overwhelmed and surprised!

Her sly smile and half-lidded eyes made me need more. I leaned in to start another deep kiss, but she slid a hand around to place an elegant index finger on my lips. We don't have much time.  Be careful, love.

If this was a simulation, it was impossible for me to tell from reality. I'd dreamed of kissing Dionne like this for years! I knew there was something between us, but it seemed like Cecil was always around. My pal had been all too graphic, in private, about what he'd like to do with Dionne, given half a chance. He'd been all talk so far. And at this moment, I was sick of talk. And she said time was short.

So I licked the tip of her finger. She squealed a most un-Dionne-like squeal and jerked her hand back. I leaned in and captured her lower lip in my teeth and growled. She sighed and leaned in to bite me back and kissed me like the world was about to end.

I closed my eyes and melted into the kiss, and she became my whole world.