Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Explore 1.5M+ audiobooks & ebooks free for 30 days

    From $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Stan, Stan, the Bacteria Man: a novelette
    Stan, Stan, the Bacteria Man: a novelette
    Stan, Stan, the Bacteria Man: a novelette
    Ebook67 pages39 minutes

    Stan, Stan, the Bacteria Man: a novelette

    By Stephen M.A.

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    ● Stan the bacteria man appeared in the Oval Office on a gloomy Tuesday morning in late August.

     

    ● A wildly weird journey into the indeterminate future of this Great Nation full of 0.50-inch service weapon rounds.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSMA Publishing
    Release dateMay 21, 2021
    ISBN9781737302001
    Stan, Stan, the Bacteria Man: a novelette
    Read preview

    Related to Stan, Stan, the Bacteria Man

    Related ebooks

    Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related categories

    Reviews for Stan, Stan, the Bacteria Man

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Stan, Stan, the Bacteria Man - Stephen M.A.

      Table of Contents

      Chapter One

      Chapter Two

      Chapter Three

      Chapter Four

      Chapter Five

      Chapter Six

      Chapter Seven

      Chapter Eight

      Chapter Nine

      Chapter Ten

      Chapter Eleven

      Chapter Twelve

      Chapter Thibilteen

      Chapter Forkies Billionty

      Chapter Chapter

      Chapter The End Of The Book Forever

      Retpahc Rebmun

      Chapter Bleu (Pronounced Bluuh)

      Chapter Nineteen

      Chapter Twenty

      Chapter ))

      Author’s Dedication

      Book Hangover Hair of the Dog Playlist

      More From Stephen M.A.

      About the Author

      Stan, Stan,

      the

      Bacteria Man

      a novelette by

      Stephen M.A.

      This novelette contains frank depictions of truth.

      www.smapublishing.com/newsletter

      Cover and interior design — Stephen M.A

      Published May, Copyright © 2021 by SMA Publishing

      All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form, physical or electronic, without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

      For permissions contact:

      rights@smapublishing.com

      For bulk orders and other sales inquiries contact:

      sales@smapublishing.com

      For press, media, publicity, and related inquiries contact:

      marketing@smapublishing.com

      All other queries:

      contact@smapublishing.com

      This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and story elements are fictional, because reality is too implausible.

      Chapter One

      STAN THE BACTERIA MAN appeared in the Oval Office on a gloomy Tuesday morning.

      Stan the bacteria man had a very bacteria plan, that man.

      Do you know about bullet points? I have come to understand bullet points, and I find them quite useful.

      Here, have some now:

      The air outside was 98 degrees Fahrenheit and 57 percent humidity, with a heavily overcast cloud cap under a dome of exceedingly stagnant high pressure, which was very important, but would not be so for much longer (you know how weather is).

      (I enjoy sharing that with you.)

      The air inside was 69 degrees Fahrenheit and 25 percent humidity, because the Chief Of Staff liked to giggle and wink at assistants and use his mouth hole to say, Hey check the thermostat for me. Also because the building held a variety of priceless national treasures that would begin to mold above 45 percent humidity, although the staff of the National Archive responsible for protecting those treasures from horny Executive officers were not aware that fully 34 percent of pieces in the collection were already quite heavily infiltrated with a variety of thriving microflora who did not know how to read thermostats.

      The carpet on the floor was a blend of half-phase Rayonite Wool® twisted with nylon in the shade of Stalwart Declarations (a muted and quite creamy pastel gold), which caught the light just so and was a favorite of the First Family because the ancestral stock portfolio held a notably large position in DOW, which had formulated the polymer. Which was strange, because both the Chief Of Staff and the Chief Of Staff Of The First Lady’s Office meanwhile went out of their way to publicly extol the virtues of this Donated One-Of-A-Kind Carpet Featuring Uniquely Appalachian Free Range Jumbuck Wool Raised In The Rural Heartland by an Australian sheep rancher named Jim Bean, whose teeth glitters like wet tiles in the publicity photos when he holds Independence Day Campaign Tithing BBQs on his (adjacent) 776-acre soy farm in Tennessee with the smoking and grill pits arranged on two of the estate’s four heli-drone pads and the fireworks launch

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 6