Tormented By Thunder: Enduring The Storms, #4

Chapter 1

THE SUN SHINES THROUGH the blinds, waking me in the early morning hours. Checking my phone on the nightstand, I see it’s about seven-thirty. Okay, maybe it’s not as early as I thought it was. I can’t sleep any longer, though. I need to get up and do something. My body is buzzing with energy from being stuck indoors for two weeks. I haven’t been able to go out to the store, for a walk, or even go to work. My life has been turned upside down and shaken up like a snow globe minus the snow.

Two weeks ago, we laid Erik The Navigator Anderson to rest. A hero to many and Ryan’s best friend. Things haven’t been the same since it happened. Ryan’s been so protective and moody. It's like I hardly know the man anymore. He stays up into the wee hours of the night until he can barely keep his eyes open, watching for anything unusual. When he does sleep, it’s only for a few hours. He barely eats to keep his strength up. The man’s a mess, and I don’t know how to help him.

I get up and get into the shower to start my day. The days all blend together now. Thank God Kira is still here. She keeps saying she’s not ready to go back, but I see the worry in her eyes when she looks at her brother. I think she just doesn’t want to leave until she knows he’ll be okay and pulls out of this. She’s going to school to be a psychologist and has been trying to help him through his grief. She tries to get him to do these different techniques she’s learned about. He doesn’t like it, of course, and rarely will even try, but it doesn’t deter her.

I walk down the stairs quietly so as not to disturb anyone. With Kira sleeping on the couch, I have to move as quietly as I can, so I don’t wake her. Once I get to the kitchen, I make myself a cup of coffee. Looking out the window over the sink, I envy the birds that flutter from branch to branch, singing their songs of freedom. It’s a beautiful day, and I yearn to feel the sun on my skin and the breeze in my hair. I long to see the water of the sound and breathe in the smell of the salty, fresh air. I sigh in defeat.

I can’t take the quiet of Ryan’s condo anymore. Slipping on my shoes near the garage door, it’s time for a quick walk. What Ryan doesn’t know won’t kill him. I need to get out. I tip-toe as quietly as I can to the back door, which is actually the main door. Reaching for the handle, I’m almost in the clear.

Where do you think you’re going? A groggy voice whispers. My shoulders sag in defeat as I turn to watch Kira sit up on the couch.

I’m just going outside for a little air. I partially lie. 

You know we’re not supposed to go outside. Ryan will have your ass. She grumbles.

"I know, but Kira, I need to get outside, even if it’s just for a minute. He’s upstairs sleeping. He’ll never know."

Fine, but you’re not going alone. She throws her blanket off and begins to stretch. As I begin to protest, she places a finger against her lips, shushing me. I nod and wait the extra few minutes for her to get up and get dressed. 

Once she’s ready and has her shoes on, we slip outside into the fresh spring air. I take a deep breath, letting the air fill every inch of my lungs. This is what I’ve been needing. I look over to Kira, who seems to be doing the same. We start walking around the condo to the front and begin our walk. 

I thought you just wanted to go out for a few minutes? Kira questions once we’re down the driveway.

Kira, I’m not going to lie. I’m going crazy in there. I need to get out. It’s a beautiful morning. Do you mind if we go on a short walk? It’s not too late to turn back if she wants, but I feel she needs this as much as I do. 

Girl, same. I feel you. And no, I don’t mind at all. She keeps pace with me as we walk further and further away. 

So, how long are you thinking you’re going to stay? I ask. We’ve gotten close over the last few weeks, and I’m glad we’ve connected. Lord knows this would be so much harder than if we didn’t, especially with everything that’s happened.

Honestly? I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet. With what my brother is going through, I don’t feel right leaving right now. 

Have you ever seen him like this? I’ve only known him a few months now, and this is a whole new side to him. I squint in the sunlight as I look over at her. I wish we could stay out all day long and soak up the vitamin D.

No, that’s why I’m so worried about him. I understand he’s going through the grieving process, but I’m worried he won’t get through all the stages, you know. He’s so angry and broody all the time. This isn’t like him at all. He’s lost so much in such a short time, I’m concerned.

Yeah, me too. I just don’t know how to help him. There’s only so much I can do if he’s unwilling to let me in. He hasn’t even touched me since it all went down, I admit. It’s been hard going from being touchy-feely to barely touching. 

You mean, like, romantically? She clarifies.

Exactly. I keep trying, but he keeps pushing me away and putting me off. A girl has needs, and this girls are not being met. I laugh in frustration. The most I’ve gotten is a kiss or two and him holding me at night. I even tried starting something with him the other morning, but he started having a nightmare, and it completely killed the mood. He started to moan in pain and twitch. It wasn’t hard to tell that my touch was not what he was moaning about.

First off, Ewww.... that’s my brother. We both giggle. Second off, eww.

Come on, Kira, you have to know your brother and I have had sex. 

Of course, but I don’t want to think about it. She covers her ears in defiance.

You asked. I point out.

Fair. She nods in agreement. Honestly, I think he’s afraid.

Afraid of what? That I’m going to use him for that beautiful penis and then leave? I laugh at the absurdity of it.

Oh god, TMI! She cackles, and it makes my day. Oh, look, a park! Let’s walk around before we go back. Kira suggests.

Perfect. Looking around, I notice a younger man coming toward us. He looks like he’s in his early twenties with black slicked-back hair. A familiarity hits me, but I can’t place where I would know him from. His eyes reach mine, and I think he sees it too. Neither of us says anything as he passes by. I take a glance over my shoulder and find he’s watching us, too. 

Kira must have noticed the awkward encounter. She pulls us into the park before speaking again. Do you know that guy? 

I’m not sure. He looked familiar, but I can’t place him. Maybe he came into the restaurant when I was working or something. I shake off the feeling. That must be where I recognize him from. 

I think he recognized you too. She speculates, and I agree with her. He definitely recognized me. 

It’s bound to happen. I run into patrons every now and again. Most of the time, it’s when I’m somewhere closer to work. I try to go through my memory of the regulars that I see often, but I don’t recall him being one.

It is a small world out there. She agrees.

Isn’t that the truth?

We continue talking about our current situation and try to think of different things we could do to help get Ryan out of his current state. Kira throws around things like getting him more active or me trying harder to get him to release some of his frustrations in bed. She promised to wear headphones so that we wouldn’t need to worry about her hearing anything. We’re in good spirits as we make our way back. I feel hopeful for the first time in weeks. This was just what we needed.

Chapter 2

REACHING OVER, I LONG to pull Ivy’s body close to mine. My dreams are wreaking havoc on my psyche, and she eases that chaos. Only when I reach out I find cold sheets. My eyes spring open as I listen to the quietness of the place. There’s no water running, so she’s not in the shower. Maybe she’s downstairs drinking coffee. Something feels off, so I quickly get dressed. 

Ivy? I call out, needing to hear her voice so I know she’s okay. I’m answered with nothing but silence. I take the stairs two at a time, only to find an empty condo. My sister’s bed on the couch remains unmade, which is not like her. She’s been so considerate this whole time and always makes up her bed after she’s awake. A coffee mug sits next to the sink, a half cup of cold coffee still present. Both of their shoes are gone. 

I check the garage next. Everything looks undisturbed. Panic starts to overwhelm my senses. What if something happened while I was asleep? What if they’ve been taken? Guilt gnaws at my insides. I shouldn’t have slept so late. I should have heard her get up this morning. 

I quickly made my way back upstairs to grab my phone. I call Ivy’s number and hear it vibrate on the nightstand next to the window. I hang up and call Kira. I hear the vibration and race downstairs, only to find it lying on the couch next to her pillows. 

I start to pace about the condo. I’m about to call Vince and confess that I’ve failed to keep his sister safe. The guilt is all-consuming. How do I tell him that I couldn’t keep his sister, or my sister protected like I said I could? 

Laughter from outside grabs my attention. I’m at the door in an instant, whipping it open and looking around. I hear her laugh, and a wave of relief floods over me. It’s Ivy. I step outside and rush around the corner, needing to know she’s safe. I see both her and my sister walking up the drive, the sunlight illuminating their natural beauty. 

Her face lights up as she sees mine. Before Ivy can say a word, I’m in front of her, picking her up in my arms and holding her close. My pounding heart thumps as if it’s about to jump out of my chest. The touch of her skin against mine eases my tension. Feeling her in my arms is like gulping air after being starved of it for so long. 

You’re okay, I mumble into her neck. Her long black hair cascaded around my face as I breathe her in. I don’t hear what she says next. I just keep holding her tightly. She’s a lifeline keeping me afloat right now. A lifeline I desperately need. She holds onto me as I calm myself from the full panic attack I just experienced.

It’s okay, Ryan. I’m okay, she coos, trying to ease my worry.

I put her down and pull her back at arm’s length so I can take a good look at her. I need to make sure she’s not hurt and is in one piece. Where were you? It comes out gruff and demanding, but I need to know what happened. Wait, come inside. We’re not safe out in the open. I usher her inside with haste, looking over my shoulder checking out my surroundings. My sister has already made her way in and is beginning to clean up her blankets on the couch when we make it inside. 

Closing the door, I round on them, repeating my question. Where were you? 

We went for a small walk. I’m sorry if we worried you. Ivy touches my arm and reaches for my hand. I gladly accept her hand in mine, needing to have that connection, even if I don’t like her answer.

A walk? I say in exacerbation. You know you’re not supposed to go outside. Especially without me. What the hell were you thinking? I’m almost yelling even though I wasn’t meaning to. But dammit! I was so worried something had happened. That I had lost her too.

I was thinking, she snaps, that I’ve been trapped in here for the last two weeks. I was thinking that I needed to feel the sun on my skin and breathe the fresh air. I needed to be outside, Ryan, if only just for a few minutes. She spits out. Her words feel like fire aimed to singe my very existence.

Ivy, this is for your safety! Do you not remember being attacked twice already? These people are not playing fair. They will strike you down the second they get the chance! It’s not that I don’t understand what she’s saying she needs, but this is for her safety, for fuck's sake.

Of course, I remember! She yells. But nothing has happened in weeks. I’m going crazy being trapped inside! she cries. I doubt a small walk to clear my head is going to jeopardize anything, she counters. She pulls her hand out of mine. Instinctually I wanted to grab it right back. The fire in her eyes warns me against following through with it.

Just because nothing has happened yet, doesn’t mean shit, Ivy! What if someone recognized you? I try and soften my tone. I’m only trying to protect you. I’m pleading for her to understand. These people who are looking for us are nasty sons of bitches. They won’t hesitate to attack or pull a trigger. They will cut down anyone who stands in their way. This Affluent Order, as they like to call themselves, are determined to take us all out. They are out for blood more now than ever.

"I know Ryan, but I’m not a soldier. I’m a woman. She emphasizes. I have a life out there. I have needs." She points to herself in frustration.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I’m taken aback by her words. Do I not satisfy you? Is that what this is about?

Ryan, you haven’t touched me sexually since Erik died. So, no. Right now, no, you’re not. It’s like you don’t even see me anymore. I feel like I’m just another job to you. Tears of frustration begin streaming down her cheeks. She wipes them away fiercely with her hands and turns her back to me. 

How can you say that? Of course, I see you. You’re all I see! I ball my hands into fists then I throw them into my hair to prevent myself from reaching for her. How can she say that? How does she not know how much I care about her? All of this, all I’m doing is for her. To keep her safe.

Kira clears her throat to remind us she’s still in the room. I’m a.... I’m going to go upstairs and take a shower. She announces, then grabs some clothes and heads upstairs.

I take a few deep breaths before speaking again, trying to will my heart to stop racing. Ivy, please understand that what I’m doing, what we’re doing, is to keep you safe. I reiterate. "I can’t let anything happen to you. I won’t let anything happen." I try to hide the shaking in my voice by clearing my throat. Losing Erik was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure. But to lose her? It would break me for good. There would be no coming back after that.

With her back still to me, her voice as shaky as mine, she curses me. Dammit, Ryan! If you feel that way, can’t you at least show me you are still attracted to me? I’ve all but paraded myself naked in front of you, and you’ve barely batted an eye at me. She looks over her shoulder so I can see the tears falling like rain from her eyes. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?

I go to her and wrap my arms around her waist, pressing our bodies together. I had no idea I’d been that blind. I’m so sorry. I guess I’ve been a little preoccupied lately. I lean down and kiss the side of her neck. Ivy, my Princess, I plead. Can you ever forgive me? It’s not as if I didn’t want to please every inch of her body. There have been nights where that’s all I can think of.  She turns around in my arms, so we’re face to face. You’re all I think of. Keeping you safe is my top priority.

Well, I’m giving you a new priority. She leans up and kisses my lips so tenderly that it breaks down all my defenses. My hands fist in her shirt around her waist.

And what’s that?  Closing my eyes, I lean my mouth down to hers in another gentle kiss.

Making love to your girlfriend. She whispers between kisses. 

The dam that had been holding me back before bursts inside of me. Grabbing her legs, I lift her into my arms and press her against the closest wall. I take her mouth like it’s the first time tasting her. I’m a greedy man that’s been starved for all of her. Our tongues dance together, fanning the fire. My hands are in her hair as I press myself into her soft, pliable body. I make it my new mission to make sure she never feels neglected by me again.

A moan slips out of her lips as I begin kissing down her neck to the top of her chest. Is this what you needed, Princess? With one hand, I find my way underneath her shirt so I can feel her bare skin. It’s a high I’ll never be able to get enough of. She’s so soft and silky beneath my rough hands.

Another hungry moan leaves those pretty red lips. Yes, God, yes. Please, Ryan. She rocks herself into my rock-hard length, seeking the friction she needs at the moment. 

I’m teetering on the edge. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out. I want her so badly. I don’t know how I’ve lasted this long without taking her. My hand finds her perky breast. Lifting her bra down, I expose her flesh, and I tweak her nipple between my fingers. The moan she releases is so fucking sexy that I almost cum in my sweatpants.

Take me, Ryan. I need to feel you inside me, she purrs.

I don’t think twice. I drop her for only a moment to take her pants off, and then she’s back against the wall. Her wet pussy pushes against my stomach as I drop my pants with one hand while holding her steady with the other. I push inside her and have to pause so I don’t embarrass myself. She feels so good