Take three stakes and a mallet, two cloves of garlic, and this book. Now you’re ready to paint the town red... with vampire blood.

Picture the scene: you’re on a romantic moonlit stroll with your beloved when a vampire crosses your path.

Do you, a) flee, screaming “Blue murder!” while leaving your loved one to fend for themselves, or, b) stand your ground and fight to the death?

If you chose to run and save your own neck, shame on you. Read this book immediately and practice its teachings. If you opted to stand and fight, good on you. Though noble, it is a foolhardy step to take and one which most likely will end in certain death. Yours. And that’s where Self-Defense Against Vampires comes to the rescue. You need to read it, if only to improve your chances of survival.

Adopted by major law enforcement agencies around the globe (though they’ll all deny it), as their go-to manual, it is the definitive text for tackling the undead.

Separating centuries of pernicious myth from truth uncovered by decades of rigorous study and practical experience, this book is an invaluable guide for all in danger of vampirification. Read it to learn the mark of these bloodthirsty monsters and turn predator to prey. And no, in case you’re wondering, vampires really don’t sparkle in the sunlight.

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