James is an utterly average musician - playing bars around town, his gigs barely pay the rent he owes to his Mom, and his dreams of stardom are fading fast. That is, until he's abducted by a TV-obsessed alien warlord, who's desperate for fresh talent in his Circus of Wonders… And someone to talk with about Game of Thrones.

James is forced to play for all manner of aliens, races, and species. If they have the money, he'll be there. Will he remember the words? Does it matter? That thing goes where? Navigating space relations is tricky.

Lights up. Curtain call. And if he bombs? Well, in this show, the booing comes with lasers.

A Selection of Scenes from Jimmy James and the Circus of Wonders:

Had someone spiked my drink? Had one or two turned into a few more?

I'm embarrassed it took me so long to notice, or mention, that I was in a tiny robe. My traditional jeans and plaid shirt stage combo had disappeared, and the tiny, blue robe did not account for gravity's pull. My underwear was absent from its duties. And my sagging-more-than-I-would-hope family jewels ducked below the hem.

I was hanging low in a cushion-y steel box.

–

Clicking noises and three whistles. 'What's your name?'

I didn't respond. I sat in stunned silence, staring at it. It looked uncomfortable with the staring, but I couldn't stop. More whistles and clicks. 'Your cloth says James.'

'Call me Jimmy.' My immediate response to anyone calling me James. I then had the immediate reaction to cross my legs. The blue robe was still small. The giant creature man beast was getting a very free show.

'Jimmy James.' The tinny voice from the translator responded to the clicks and whistles. I wanted to correct him, but the noises didn't stop. 'My name is Mitondospectavardillir.'

–

Tammy was clearly looking right at me. 'Can we talk?' she said.

I heard some oo-ing from the crowd. We went into the tent for some privacy.

I started to say we shouldn't do that again, but she cut me off. 'We shouldn't do that again.' Her musical language translated in the tinny translator sounded strange.

I didn't love being on the other side of this. I thought I did pretty well last night. By Earth standards I was great, but then again, almost nothing we did last night was earthly. Was I a terrible space lover?

Tammy kept going. 'It's just you're so,' Oh boy. 'Pink and fleshy and doughy.'

That wasn't the worst thing I've been called by a woman, but it stung. I mean, I gained a bit of weight while we'd been here sitting and drinking. It wasn't that much weight. It's like my coach used to say; take the losses the same way you take wins.

'I understand, well at least it was fun.' I said.

She didn't say anything back. It wasn't a disagreement, but not an enthusiastic review.

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