By day I am an iPhone developer architecting the app used to scope Stephen Colbert's ear. By night I am Batman. Ok maybe not. One can dream though, right?

I've been writing since I was six years old and started inflicting my work on others at age 18. By age 24 people stopped running away when I approached them with a new story and shortly thereafter I published my first one in the Rifter.

Wait you're still reading?

Ok, the facts I'm supposed to list in a bio. As of this writing I'm 38 years old and live just north of the Golden Gate Bridge in the beautiful town of Mill Valley. If you're unsure how to find it just follow the smell of self-entitlement. Once you see the teens driving Teslas you'll know you're in the right place.

I live in a tiny studio that I can cross in (literally) five steps and don't own an oven. But you know what? It's worth it. I love developing iPhone apps and if you want to work in San Francisco you accept that rent for a tiny place costs more than most people's mortgage.

If you and about 2 million other people start buying my books I promise to move out of Marin to a house in the redwoods up in Guerneville. No pressure. Wait that's a lie. Pressure.