As a kid, I was supposed to ignore the bullying: don't let it bother you, just ignore it, don't give them a reaction. As an adult, I was made responsible for it: don't let them bully you, figure out how to get along, speak up, set boundaries. Those messages didn't make me stronger. They left me feeling ashamed for getting stuck in a trauma response and for not reacting the "right way" if I managed to do anything at all.

I was 45 when I was diagnosed with ADHD, Non-Attentive. This diagnosis led me down a rabbit hole of information that made me question everything. It also explained why triggering moments felt impossible, and no amount of breathe 1-2-3 or journaling helped in the least.

This book is about breaking that cycle. It walks you through what I learned about trauma responses, shame, societal expectations, and how neurodivergence adds a level of difficulty that we can't always overcome. I share my breakthrough moment when I asked myself: What if I can never stand up for myself? and how the answer allowed me to reframe my trauma and take steps to protect my nervous system.

If you are a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman, chances are you've carried more than the weight of bullying. You've carried the confusion of not knowing why the rules never made sense, the shame of being told it was your job to fix what others did to you, and the loneliness of being abandoned in moments you most needed support.

This book is my way of saying: you're not alone. The reframes, lessons, and reminders I share are the ones that helped me see my life differently and gave me permission to live on my own terms.

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