I'm still learning and going through it. Where I'm at now is not where I want to be. I'm ready to become more stable.

I did everything that my husband wanted. Nothing was too good for him or out of bounds. If he wanted it…he got it.

He was a big man to me. I placed him above everything. Everything. I looked up to him. Almost worshipped him. He could do no wrong in my eyes.

He turned me on to so many things and created another person inside of me.

I did many things for him that a normal wife would…never…do.

Threesomes, foursomes, freaky outings and adventures, bringing men home, bringing women home. Hell, pretty much whatever he wanted. All I wanted was for him to be happy.

I did too much I guess. Wasn't a challenge any longer. I never said…no. I guess that's why he eventually left me.

To say I have baggage is an understatement. I have suitcases…

I try not to let other men pay for what my husband did to me but I'm so damaged now that it's hard not to.

I don't love as strong and whole heartily anymore. Hell, I don't think that i will ever love again.

It still hurts. I still cry every week. Not every day anymore. I will never again put another man before me or God again!

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