Lane’s Tips for Licking Thicket Newcomers

If at all possible, find yourself a hot and helpful landlord like Jaybird Proud who mows the lawn shirtless… and hope your grass grows quickly.

Expect the unexpected at work. If you’re a veterinarian, this might mean letter-cows, pet pigs that aren’t pets, and Butterscotch the Pomeranian, who has Strong Feelings about his glands.

Offer your help around town when needed… especially when that gorgeous landlord knocks on your door because his (pea)cock won’t stop displaying.

Learn about local customs, including: matchmaking, leaving Italian Gentlemen on the doormat, ordering tater tots, and entwining dead vines into wreaths as a sign of true love.

Get your car washed on the regular… especially when your landlord is the one doing the scrubbing.

Above all, keep things casual, even when Jay ends up at your place every night. And every morning. And the occasional afternoon.

But when you find yourself falling for someone like Jaybird Proud (and life in his weird and wonderful town), let go of everything you thought you wanted… and Entwine that Thicketeer forever.

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