The author lives in the not-at-all-made-up town of Covington, GA, which is the stand-in for the entirely-made-up-by-somebody-else towns of Mystic Falls, Sparta, Mississippi, and Hazzard County.  He has never seen a vampire, much less the ones that keep diaries, or met Officer Bubba or them Duke Boys.  Instead he prefers to live in worlds of his own creation where his companions include dragons, wizards, alien cyborgs, space battleships, and snarky heroes.  His main hobby is writing third person biographies about himself born of vanity, personal insecurities, and a twisted sense of humor that has led more than one person to remark to him, "Boy, you ain't right."