I don't know how to pick up the pieces after losing what I've known my whole life. Everything was in place: the girl, the house, the job...I almost had the family. And then, in the space of a heartbeat, I lost what kept me anchored for nearly twenty years.

My brothers and sister drop everything and rush to my side, because that's what our family does. We've had difficult childhoods and with age we've become inseparable. They try to understand that I'm struggling to regain myself, but I don't actually know who I am anymore, which makes the process ugly.

My oldest brother, Thomas, steps in to keep me on the straight and narrow, but it's not actually him who saves my life. It's the apparition that comes to me in dreams, a beautiful redhead who calls me Bear.

When I run into the woman herself, I can't stay away from her, and that fills me with guilt. It's too soon, and I'm still working my way through the grieving process. The last thing I need is to drag someone else into my problems, when it's clear she has plenty of her own.

Eve is a single mom, working herself into the ground to make up for her ex's many shortcomings. With an almost-teenage son, she's struggling to be mom and dad to the kid who clearly needs a decent guy around to teach him how to be a man. It's something his own father isn't doing, which becomes clear as time goes on and Eve allows me little by little into her life.

She accompanies me to California, to be with my brother who's experienced a terrible loss. It's then that she stops fighting me, finally pulling me closer instead of pushing me away and I'm blown away by the person she lets me see: caring, kind, loving and gentle. I want more of that--more of her.

When Eve thinks I've betrayed her, she cuts me out of her life, leaving a bigger hole than I could ever have imagined. Not only do I lose her, I also lose the boy who's come to mean something to me. Somehow I've come to think of them as my family and now I've lost what gave me hope during the darkest period of my life.

I can't fix this, because Eve won't let me, and I worry this loss might be worse than the last. How can I get her to understand; to see that I'm what she needs?

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