Dumped at the altar by Douchebag Derrick, I decided my best course of action was to go on the Hornbag Honeymoon cruise of a lifetime - alone.

What the hell was I thinking?

And just like any self-respecting woman, I got so drunk I fell over the safety rail and into the warm waters of the Pacific. Way to go Arielle. Although certain death was imminent, I was rescued not only by one sexy-as-sin powerful merr-king. His brothers also had their say in what they wanted to do to me.

Then colour me pink and call me surprised when they said I was their Fated Mate and that I was going to save their kingdom. Through bonding sex. That’s when I knew this was one big dream and it was my brain easing my way to the afterlife fuelled by my biggest secret sexual fantasy. Way to go brain.

But when I was abducted by a giant carnivorous octopus who digested people over the better part of a week, who was the pet of a psychotic megalomaniac intent on overtaking the world – and claiming me as his mate in the process – I knew I wasn’t stuck in some dream.

No, that would be a much better alternative. This was real and I was in trouble.

A loose retelling of The Little Mermaid in this why-choose humorous adult fairytale.

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