Everyone told you to move to Asheville. You're already thinking about it. You've looked at the listings. You've watched the reels. You may have told people you're considering it.

Don't.

Don't Move to Asheville is the reverse-psychology relocation guide that takes the standard "here's why you'll love it" format and turns it inside out. Nine chapters. Nine reasons to stay put. None of them will work.

You'll learn about the food scene that earned two James Beard Awards and a Michelin Bib Gourmand in a city of 95,000 people. The outdoor access that puts world-class hiking, whitewater, and trout fishing within thirty minutes of downtown. The creative economy that attracted artists, brewers, musicians, and makers who arrived as visitors and couldn't make themselves leave.

It covers what you actually need to know: the hospital situation, the housing costs, the cost-of-living math, what happened after Hurricane Helene, and whether any of it is still worth it.

Spoiler: it is. Annoyingly.

Written by a reluctant Ashevillian since 2014, this is the honest guide that relocation books are too polite to write: funny, specific, and completely useless as a warning.

Consider yourself warned.

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