Alive and well, despite being given only a 5% chance of surviving his own birth, Paul Tchir is a Canadian-born, Texas-educated, Arabic-speaking (sort of) Californian Wikipedia administrator, amateur street luger, and former deadpool champion who is missing part of a finger due to an unfortunate accident involving a cooking class in the second grade and an inattentive chaperone. Although this injury meant that he was unable to attain his childhood goal of becoming a paleontologist, fortune soon smiled upon him and he was inspired to enter theatre after Charles Bronson cut in front of him in a hot dog line in junior high. He studied under the tutelage of Neve Campbell’s father for a year before abandoning this pursuit to write the sequel to Jurassic Park.

 Although his pitch was rejected as having “already been written”, Paul was not discouraged and has since persisted in his quest to produce literary entertainment. When he needs to convince his wife that he does more than play retro video games and sit around waiting for sports autographs to arrive in the mail, he teaches history at San Diego State University. He enjoys Star Trek, Stargate, and Battlestar Galactica, but is indifferent on all other star-related matters. According to Google, he also gave 2001: A Space Odyssey a bad review on IMDB, moonlights as an Olympic researcher, and has not accessed his Neopets account in over a decade. According to reliable sources, he does, unlike Mr. T., have time for jibber jabber, but only by appointment.