Missing Gretyl: You Only Love Twice

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About the author

Si Page

Si Page was born in Romford, Essex in 1970 and grew up with a love of football, films, frolicking and females (the priority of the four 'F's reversed during his teenage years).

After attending three different senior schools, Si decided that it was a waste of time turning up for his GCE exams and bunked off to head for the workplace as a carpet fitter where he found the YTS scheme waiting with no more than twenty-something quid a week and a clip round the ear for cutting carpet 'very wonky'. 

Si describes the next ten years of his working life in grim fashion: 'I worked as a telesales 'thingy' (ew), vending machine salesman (spit), insurance clerk (snore), debt collector (ouch), recruitment consultant (I liked that one) and a mortgage broker (I worked for sharks and didn't last long).'

Things were soon to change drastically in 1996, when Si decided to become a 'real' student and study for a B.A. Hons. Theology Degree somewhere outside of Essex, in a strange land called 'The North'. Things were reportedly so bad 'oop North', that Si expected to be living among whippet-racing peasants dressed in shell suits, living off a diet of mushy peas.

After a car journey up the M6 motorway to a grassy dwelling called Cheshire, Si survived three years of student life and the carcass served up in the college canteen. He finished his degree in 1999 and until 2007 he worked as a Reverend in the North West of England - Merseyside and Lancashire. Si planned that amongst more sophisticated company, he would say that he resided a few miles away from two world class golfing resorts - the first near Royal Birkdale, and the second, a few cosy miles from Royal Lytham. 

Simon has since been involved in a number of creative projects, including an Oscar-nominated short film called 'Most' and written several hilarious books. The first was a comedy novel, called 'Missing Gretyl' (also a screenplay) and the second, a parody and satirical work on David Cameron, called 'The Inside Scoop: The Secret Journal of a Prime Minister.' 

Si is working on three books at present, from the sequel to Missing Gretyl, a Billy Elliott-type adventure called 'The Collar' and more recently, a story of literary fiction called 'No Idea'.