Why do you keep repeating the same patterns in your relationships?
You cling too tight — or you pull away the moment someone gets close. You constantly need reassurance, or conversely, intimacy suffocates you. You choose unavailable partners, then wonder why love keeps slipping away.

The answer lies in your attachment style. Shaped in the earliest years of your life, it silently governs all your relationships — romantic, platonic, professional. The good news: it can change. This book shows you how.

Written by a CBT psychotherapist (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), this guide draws on the foundational work of Bowlby, Ainsworth, Hazan, and Shaver to offer clear understanding and concrete tools for transformation.

What you will discover in this book
Understanding your attachment style:

The 4 attachment styles — secure, anxious-preoccupied, avoidant-dismissive, disorganized — and how they manifest in daily life
Bowlby's theory: how the bond with your parental figures programmed your emotional responses
Hazan and Shaver's research: when child psychology illuminates adult love
The anxious-avoidant trap: why these two styles attract and destroy each other
Disorganized attachment: understanding the deepest wound and its consequences

Building secure attachment — the concept of earned security:

Earned security: the scientific proof that you can develop secure attachment at any age
Identifying your relational triggers: the situations that activate your attachment system
Regulating abandonment anxiety without smothering your partner
Embracing intimacy when your instinct is to flee
Choosing nourishing relationships instead of repetitive patterns
Communicating your attachment needs with clarity and vulnerability

A deeply practical book
This is not a theoretical book. Each chapter contains:

Detailed case studies — 15 clinical stories (Nathalie, anxiously checking her partner's phone; Thomas, avoidant who sabotages every relationship after three months; Lea, disorganized between craving love and fearing abandonment; and 12 other journeys)
Practical exercises — 8 exercises per chapter: commented attachment assessment, mapping your attachment figures, trigger journal, letter to the inner child, progressive security-building protocol
Verified scientific references — Every concept is supported by the latest publications in attachment psychology

Who is this book for?

You keep repeating the same relational patterns and want to understand why
You feel anxious in your relationships and want to find peace
You avoid intimacy and want to learn how to open up
You are in a relationship with an avoidant or anxious partner and want to better understand them
You are a mental health professional looking to deepen your understanding of attachment theory

"You cannot change what you were given. But you can transform what you do with it."

About the author

Gildas Garrec is a CBT psychotherapist (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). Author of over 470 articles on psychologieetserenite.com, he has developed 68 psychological tests and ScanMyLove, a couple's conversational analysis tool based on 14 clinical models.

"The Essentials of Applied Psychology" collection — 13 books to understand, take action, and move forward.

Sign up now to get the most out of Books2Read

Discover something great at Books2Read.

Thanks for signing up for Books2Read notifications!