Magic is real.

Destiny is documented.

And every catastrophe requires Form 18-AB in quintuplicate.

Inspector Tiberius Wulf works for the Ministry of Arcana's least celebrated division: the Department of Arcane Incidents, he people who arrive after the prophecy, after the explosion, and after the "Chosen One" has set something on fire.

His job is simple.

Confiscate cursed artifacts.

Investigate illegal time travel.

Interview traumatized teenagers.

File reports no one will read.

When a manuscript hidden beneath the prestigious Grimthorne Academy appears to contain a pre-written version of the future, complete with suspicious heroes, budget-approved destiny, and a dark wizard treating reality like a rough draft, Wulf suspects someone isn't predicting fate.

Someone is editing it.

Now he's stuck navigating conspiratorial headmasters, weaponized paperwork, malfunctioning prophecies, and a Ministry that would rather deny the apocalypse than process the insurance forms.

To stop a villain rewriting the universe, Wulf must survive enchanted bureaucracy, magical politics, and the most dangerous force in wizarding society:

administrative procedure.

Deadpan, fast-paced, and relentlessly absurd, Detective's Wand: Spells, Lies & Paperwork blends fantasy mystery, noir detective fiction, and sharp workplace satire into a world where legends are marketing, prophecies are paperwork, and the firebird probably needs a permit.

Perfect for readers who love magical crime stories, dry British humor, institutional chaos, and fantasy that skewers its own tropes.

For fans of magical school parodies, cynical detectives, and anyone who thinks The Chosen One should have been arrested years ago.

Because saving the world is heroic.

Cleaning it up afterward is a government job.

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