When a child dies, no matter what the cause, grief can be paralyzing, overwhelming. However, with an overdose death, the stigma attached to addiction often induces emotions that a grieving parent should not have to experience. Guilt, remorse, self-recrimination, and shame. Currently, our society generally induces a measure of shame, stigmatizing those struggling with addiction, having a rippling effect upon families.

Slowly however, I came to realize it is possible to survive heartrending loss such as this. During this process I did what writers do. I threw myself into writing, and began journaling in an effort to process and better understand the "why's and how's" and a way to stop dwelling on the "what if's." Over the next several months, a story unfolded as I blended Sarah's words with my own using her journals. Unaware at the time this was the beginning of my journey toward a measure of healing. I was determined to be completely transparent in sharing our story. Secrets: A Story of Addiction, Grief & Healing was released less than a year after Sarah's death.

Society is quick to formulate judgments toward those struggling with addiction. However, is addiction a choice? Is mental illness a choice? Everyone's story is different. I can only share mine and how our family was affected. The effects of addiction ripple out, washing over everyone in some manner or form. Like many, I originally thought substance use was a choice, a deficit in one's moral code, a weakness that one should be able to control. Why must tragedy occur to inspire illumination?

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