<p>Dr. Aberfeldy considers himself an expert on most things. However, he is best known for being late for work, spending too much time in the bathroom, drinking too much, road rage, watching Fox News, and embarrassing his children in front of their friends. He frequently gives lectures on topics he knows very little about to friends and family at various bars, hunting and fishing camps, and social gatherings throughout areas of Pennsylvania, New York, and New Jersey.</p><p>Dr. Aberfeldy came from very humble beginnings where he remains even today. He was born in 1979 in rural Pennsylvania just outside of Philadelphia where he would spend the better part of his childhood masturbating to his dad’s Penthouse magazines. By the time he was 14, he was one of the most active masturbaters of his generation. Eventually, he got grew up and had two kids named Tucker and Macy, but his love for masturbation never waned. In fact, he still masturbates today when no one is home or when he is in the shower.</p><p>Dr. Aberfeldy never won any awards for his writing; however he did win many participation awards as a child and countless drinking games in college. In his free time, he enjoys looking for the remote, mansplaining stuff to his wife, and complaining about gas prices.</p><p/>
